This weekend was a kind of mixed bag: I had a great time at the Aimee Mann show (her voice is as beautifully haunting and clear in concert as it is on any of her records, plus she's really sassy and she BOXES like me) on Friday, but Saturday and Sunday I ended up feeling like shit all day. I'm on this new medication and one of the inital side effects is naseau, headaches and mood swings. Poor Scientist, he had to put up with me being really grumpy and irritable all day (at least I warned him in advance).
Thankfully, I'm feeling a lot better today. I just went for a nice fast walk for about an hour and earlier today I read some more of One Hundred Years of Solitude, which is shaping up to be a great book. It's funny, I tried to read One Hundred about 3 years ago and it was super annoying; I couldn't keep any of the characters straight and it was impossible for me to actually concentrate on the plot. I ended up being really disappointed and dropping it after about 100 pages. Now, though, I'm having zero problems with it all. It's funny how people grow into books, isn't it?
Monday, June 26, 2006
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Worst Case scenario: Scientist meets my Dad!
Upon reading yesterday's blog entry I realized how poorly it was written. Sorry guys. I've got a lot on my mind, and while I usually use this blog as a forum to vent and kick ideas around, this one is going to just have to rattle around a bit in my head before I come out with it. Until then my entries might seem a little forced or, distracted, I guess.
NO, I'm not pregnant, nor am I getting married (have you lost your fucking mind?!) or coming out of the closet (those of you who know me, know I've tried dating women in the past, so it's no secret--those of you who don't know... well, SURPRISE!).
No, this is something I need to decide on my own. Yes, it involves Scientistchik*. It also involves my future. It's a big step, a leap of faith and completely out-of-character. And that's all I'm going to say about it right now. Now you're dying to know what it is, aren't ya?
Tonight Scientistchik is going to meet my dad. I'm a little nervous; not because I don't think my dad will like Scientistchik (on the contrary, I think he'll like him a lot--how could he not?), but rather, my dad is a kinda weird and unusual guy-- which I've tried to prepare Scientist for-- and I never know how people are going to react to him. I mean, it's not like he's going to give Scientist the third degree on what his "intentions" are with me, or like, pick a fight with him over stem cell research or the fact that Scientist kills mice all day and then takes out their brains and spinal chords (now you know why I really find him so irresistible and sexy).
My worst case scenario goes down like this: we arrive 20 minutes late to find my boyfriend pacing outside Mondo's hungrily. Introductions are made and my Dad promptly starts making lame science jokes in an effort to buddy up to Scientist. Scientist laughs weakly and looks at me quizzically. I begin to feel a pit the size of Illinois open up in my stomach.
We saunter on in to Mondo's, sit down, my dad immediately lights up a cigarette and starts asking Scientist all these questions about his research. Then, in mid-sentence, between his third and fourth cigarette in 10 minutes, my dad interrupts Scientist and starts telling him stories about China (where my Dad lived for nearly three years until about 2 months ago and is trying to currently find work again) and blowing smoke in his face.
Once our food arrives, my Dad complains that his soup is cold, rudely tells the server "Sweetie, you need to take this back," and lights up his tenth cigarette. Scientist, still smiling and trying to impress my dad, has switched tactics. He's asking Dad about where's he's been and Dad launches into this painfully long story about all the places we've been together and how he was the one who first took me abroad. He peppers the story with "Squirt" this and "Squirt" that, motioning towards me (I endured him calling me Squirt until I finally flipped out on him once when I was 23 and had just come back from living in Russia by myself--true story, I swear). My mother is so fucking irritated her eyes are almost literally rolling out of her head. I'm biting my tongue so hard there's a slight trickle of saliva-blood running out of the side of my mouth and there is actual steam coming out of my ears.
For the next hour I try to gear the conversation towards some totally inane topic like tupperware, but fail miserably. My mother, who's been divorced from my father for over 10 years, keeps shrilly scolding my dad for making one faux pas after another. He's dropped food on the floor twice, and accidently put his cigarette out in Scientist's food. At this point I keep getting up to "go to the bathroom", but rather than using the loo I sneak outside and try to call Scientist to apologize my Dad's behavior.
Finally the end of meal comes, and somehow my Mom and I end up paying for everyone's food. My dad makes some completely off-color remark about my Mom and I being his and Scientist's respective sugar mommas, which really pisses my mom off. Trying to make our exit as quick as possible, I give my mom a hug, glower at my Dad and grimace as my father says, "Well, Scoliosis, it sure was nice to meet you. Take care of my daughter!" and winks.
I spent the entire car ride home, as well as the next two hours kissing Scientist's ass and trying to convince him I share only my crooked nose, my love of travel and the ability to make any story inordinately too long with my father. Alas, Scientist decides he can't imagine spending the next few months, let alone the next several years with someone who's family is as odd as mine and breaks up with me on the spot. I cry bitter tears all the back to my empty bed in Cedar Rapids.
*Adding "chik" (for men) or "inka" (for women) to the end of one's name forms what's called a"diminutive" in Russian or Ukrainian. A "diminuitive" is like a pet name, and is reserved for someone you really like, or conversely if you want something from someone and need to kiss their ass. Example: "Brianchik, could you bum me a cigarette?" or "Ellenka, thank you for writing that letter of recommendation to Peace Corps for me three years ago." No one, except maybe Brian, calls me Robinka, because no one really likes me. Boo hoo, me!
Update: Okay, so I'm adding this update a bit late, but, well, sue me. Anyway, dinner with my Dad, Mom and Scientist went very well. My Dad was extremely impressed with Scientist's scienceness and the fact that he infects mice with auto-immune diseases, kills them, grinds up their spinal chords and brains and then proceeds to stare at them under a microscope. My Dad even used the word "antigen" in a sentence to try and impress Scientist. Conversely, Scientist tried to impress my Dad with his travels to Columbia, Costa Rica, Mexico and Ireland.
Seriously though, the whole evening, including when my dad gave Scientist shit for voting for Bush (and Scientist just grinned and took it), just re-affirmed my belief that I'm totally with the right guy. No doubt in my mind. At all.
NO, I'm not pregnant, nor am I getting married (have you lost your fucking mind?!) or coming out of the closet (those of you who know me, know I've tried dating women in the past, so it's no secret--those of you who don't know... well, SURPRISE!).
No, this is something I need to decide on my own. Yes, it involves Scientistchik*. It also involves my future. It's a big step, a leap of faith and completely out-of-character. And that's all I'm going to say about it right now. Now you're dying to know what it is, aren't ya?
Tonight Scientistchik is going to meet my dad. I'm a little nervous; not because I don't think my dad will like Scientistchik (on the contrary, I think he'll like him a lot--how could he not?), but rather, my dad is a kinda weird and unusual guy-- which I've tried to prepare Scientist for-- and I never know how people are going to react to him. I mean, it's not like he's going to give Scientist the third degree on what his "intentions" are with me, or like, pick a fight with him over stem cell research or the fact that Scientist kills mice all day and then takes out their brains and spinal chords (now you know why I really find him so irresistible and sexy).
My worst case scenario goes down like this: we arrive 20 minutes late to find my boyfriend pacing outside Mondo's hungrily. Introductions are made and my Dad promptly starts making lame science jokes in an effort to buddy up to Scientist. Scientist laughs weakly and looks at me quizzically. I begin to feel a pit the size of Illinois open up in my stomach.
We saunter on in to Mondo's, sit down, my dad immediately lights up a cigarette and starts asking Scientist all these questions about his research. Then, in mid-sentence, between his third and fourth cigarette in 10 minutes, my dad interrupts Scientist and starts telling him stories about China (where my Dad lived for nearly three years until about 2 months ago and is trying to currently find work again) and blowing smoke in his face.
Once our food arrives, my Dad complains that his soup is cold, rudely tells the server "Sweetie, you need to take this back," and lights up his tenth cigarette. Scientist, still smiling and trying to impress my dad, has switched tactics. He's asking Dad about where's he's been and Dad launches into this painfully long story about all the places we've been together and how he was the one who first took me abroad. He peppers the story with "Squirt" this and "Squirt" that, motioning towards me (I endured him calling me Squirt until I finally flipped out on him once when I was 23 and had just come back from living in Russia by myself--true story, I swear). My mother is so fucking irritated her eyes are almost literally rolling out of her head. I'm biting my tongue so hard there's a slight trickle of saliva-blood running out of the side of my mouth and there is actual steam coming out of my ears.
For the next hour I try to gear the conversation towards some totally inane topic like tupperware, but fail miserably. My mother, who's been divorced from my father for over 10 years, keeps shrilly scolding my dad for making one faux pas after another. He's dropped food on the floor twice, and accidently put his cigarette out in Scientist's food. At this point I keep getting up to "go to the bathroom", but rather than using the loo I sneak outside and try to call Scientist to apologize my Dad's behavior.
Finally the end of meal comes, and somehow my Mom and I end up paying for everyone's food. My dad makes some completely off-color remark about my Mom and I being his and Scientist's respective sugar mommas, which really pisses my mom off. Trying to make our exit as quick as possible, I give my mom a hug, glower at my Dad and grimace as my father says, "Well, Scoliosis, it sure was nice to meet you. Take care of my daughter!" and winks.
I spent the entire car ride home, as well as the next two hours kissing Scientist's ass and trying to convince him I share only my crooked nose, my love of travel and the ability to make any story inordinately too long with my father. Alas, Scientist decides he can't imagine spending the next few months, let alone the next several years with someone who's family is as odd as mine and breaks up with me on the spot. I cry bitter tears all the back to my empty bed in Cedar Rapids.
*Adding "chik" (for men) or "inka" (for women) to the end of one's name forms what's called a"diminutive" in Russian or Ukrainian. A "diminuitive" is like a pet name, and is reserved for someone you really like, or conversely if you want something from someone and need to kiss their ass. Example: "Brianchik, could you bum me a cigarette?" or "Ellenka, thank you for writing that letter of recommendation to Peace Corps for me three years ago." No one, except maybe Brian, calls me Robinka, because no one really likes me. Boo hoo, me!
Update: Okay, so I'm adding this update a bit late, but, well, sue me. Anyway, dinner with my Dad, Mom and Scientist went very well. My Dad was extremely impressed with Scientist's scienceness and the fact that he infects mice with auto-immune diseases, kills them, grinds up their spinal chords and brains and then proceeds to stare at them under a microscope. My Dad even used the word "antigen" in a sentence to try and impress Scientist. Conversely, Scientist tried to impress my Dad with his travels to Columbia, Costa Rica, Mexico and Ireland.
Seriously though, the whole evening, including when my dad gave Scientist shit for voting for Bush (and Scientist just grinned and took it), just re-affirmed my belief that I'm totally with the right guy. No doubt in my mind. At all.
Monday, June 19, 2006
General Ramblings
It's another beautiful day in Iowa. I think I'll go outside today and walk for awhile. I'm determined to add some color to my pale ass over the course of this summer. I hope to do this through a combination of walking and biking all over eastern Iowa.
Speaking of biking, Scientist and I biked for two hours Saturday afternoon. It was awesome, especially considering it had been kinda crappy weather for a week straight and it was damn hot Saturday afternoon. In fact, I felt kind of nauseous later on in the day, which I have a feeling was linked to being out in the sun for so long. I think my body is still in shock that a) it's not still winter and b) I'm not freezing my butt off in Ukraine.
It always feels so good to get some really intense form of exercise, although I don't enjoy exerting myself in the sweltering heat so much. There was nothing I loved more (before my accident, of course) than going for a long run in 70 degree weather. God, I miss that--running 7 miles followed by Amy's Cheese Lasagna (that's a vegetarian brand of microwaveable meal) and a peanut butter chocolate bar from the Co-op. Pure heaven.
This week I start another project at the educational testing facility where I've worked on and off for...well, forever (or at least it feels that way). I'm not super excited about it, especially considering I'll be playing the part of a lowly scorer, as opposed to the super rad, cool, hip supervisor like I usually do. Scoring, as opposed to supervising, also pays a dollar less an hour.
The highlight of the summer this week, I think, will come Friday when Scientist and I go to Minneapolis to Aimee Mann at the Minneapolis zoo with my friend, Jake, and his girlfriend Tara. I'm super excited about seeing Aimee Mann; I've only become a fan in the last two years when another volunteer introduced me to her music, which hooked me immediately.
Other than being stoked (I'm pulling out all the 80's words this entry: rad, stoked...) about seeing a show, Scientist has met none of my friends, other than Greg (BTW, Greg, after meeting you he said, "I'm totally not worried about meeting any of your friends if they're all cool like that Greg guy...He was really smart.") and our little trip to MN will allow me to introduce him to Jake.
As some of you may know, I feel like it's important that my friends like the person I'm dating, although I realize sometimes two strong personalities don't always mix (example: Ellen to this day reminds me how much she hated/hates my ex-boyfriend,Todd). Don't get me wrong, my friends opinions are important to me: I'm an only child, ergo I have no close family other than my parents and my friends take the place of siblings. That means, of course, I rely on them to be honest with me about how they feel about the person I'm dating. If they don't like them, I want them to be honest with me about why.
This of course means I reserve the right to disagree with them about my SO. If, say, one of the friends met Scientist and, after a heated discussion about politics, they later informed me they didn't like Scientist because he, um, er, uh, voted for Bush, then I'd have to take their opinion with a grain of salt. Not liking someone because he/she has radically different political views, is not a valid reason for thinking that person is not good for your friend.
Have a good day, all.
Speaking of biking, Scientist and I biked for two hours Saturday afternoon. It was awesome, especially considering it had been kinda crappy weather for a week straight and it was damn hot Saturday afternoon. In fact, I felt kind of nauseous later on in the day, which I have a feeling was linked to being out in the sun for so long. I think my body is still in shock that a) it's not still winter and b) I'm not freezing my butt off in Ukraine.
It always feels so good to get some really intense form of exercise, although I don't enjoy exerting myself in the sweltering heat so much. There was nothing I loved more (before my accident, of course) than going for a long run in 70 degree weather. God, I miss that--running 7 miles followed by Amy's Cheese Lasagna (that's a vegetarian brand of microwaveable meal) and a peanut butter chocolate bar from the Co-op. Pure heaven.
This week I start another project at the educational testing facility where I've worked on and off for...well, forever (or at least it feels that way). I'm not super excited about it, especially considering I'll be playing the part of a lowly scorer, as opposed to the super rad, cool, hip supervisor like I usually do. Scoring, as opposed to supervising, also pays a dollar less an hour.
The highlight of the summer this week, I think, will come Friday when Scientist and I go to Minneapolis to Aimee Mann at the Minneapolis zoo with my friend, Jake, and his girlfriend Tara. I'm super excited about seeing Aimee Mann; I've only become a fan in the last two years when another volunteer introduced me to her music, which hooked me immediately.
Other than being stoked (I'm pulling out all the 80's words this entry: rad, stoked...) about seeing a show, Scientist has met none of my friends, other than Greg (BTW, Greg, after meeting you he said, "I'm totally not worried about meeting any of your friends if they're all cool like that Greg guy...He was really smart.") and our little trip to MN will allow me to introduce him to Jake.
As some of you may know, I feel like it's important that my friends like the person I'm dating, although I realize sometimes two strong personalities don't always mix (example: Ellen to this day reminds me how much she hated/hates my ex-boyfriend,Todd). Don't get me wrong, my friends opinions are important to me: I'm an only child, ergo I have no close family other than my parents and my friends take the place of siblings. That means, of course, I rely on them to be honest with me about how they feel about the person I'm dating. If they don't like them, I want them to be honest with me about why.
This of course means I reserve the right to disagree with them about my SO. If, say, one of the friends met Scientist and, after a heated discussion about politics, they later informed me they didn't like Scientist because he, um, er, uh, voted for Bush, then I'd have to take their opinion with a grain of salt. Not liking someone because he/she has radically different political views, is not a valid reason for thinking that person is not good for your friend.
Have a good day, all.
Friday, June 16, 2006
I used the word "smack" twice in this post
Whenever I read the blogs of people I don't know I feel like a peeping Tom. Like, somehow, if they found out I was reading their blogs they'd put the smack down on me. They'd say something like, "Who the fuck do you think you are reading my blog? Do I know you? NO! Then stop puttin' your nose into my bidness, bitch! Get a life!"
Nevertheless, I spent about an hour this morning cruising the blogosphere. I like to read the blogs of currently serving Peace Corps Volunteers but they're so rarely updated that it's hard for me to get super excited about reading them and check them every day like I do Ellen's blog, or JP's blog.
Despite the fact that it may seem like I'm not doing jack, I've actually been fairly productive. I've found some leads on apartment in the Minneapolis area, e-mailed some potential roommates and fretted endlessly about how the hell I'm going to pay for all this (I won't receive word of my financial aid award from U of M until late June /early July!). Note to any of you who see me: please smack me upside the head or shake me if I start spazzing over the cost of graduate school. Remind me that the money I'm investing in this is worthwhile and will pay off both financially, intellectually, professionally and, very possibly, emotionally in the future. I should think of this as downpayment on my future. I came up with that myself, isn't that good? Huh? God, I'm smart....that's why U of Minnesota wants me.
I hope you all have a great weekend. Pray for sun!
Nevertheless, I spent about an hour this morning cruising the blogosphere. I like to read the blogs of currently serving Peace Corps Volunteers but they're so rarely updated that it's hard for me to get super excited about reading them and check them every day like I do Ellen's blog, or JP's blog.
Despite the fact that it may seem like I'm not doing jack, I've actually been fairly productive. I've found some leads on apartment in the Minneapolis area, e-mailed some potential roommates and fretted endlessly about how the hell I'm going to pay for all this (I won't receive word of my financial aid award from U of M until late June /early July!). Note to any of you who see me: please smack me upside the head or shake me if I start spazzing over the cost of graduate school. Remind me that the money I'm investing in this is worthwhile and will pay off both financially, intellectually, professionally and, very possibly, emotionally in the future. I should think of this as downpayment on my future. I came up with that myself, isn't that good? Huh? God, I'm smart....that's why U of Minnesota wants me.
I hope you all have a great weekend. Pray for sun!
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Rejected (again)
Stupid fucking University of Iowa just rejected me from their Community and Behavioral Health program. They said my quantative GRE score was too low, but I could take Biostatistics I and Epidemiology I and then re-apply at a later date. Yeah.
I wouldn't care so much about being rejected from the University of Iowa except 1) it's waaaaay cheaper than the U of Minnesota and 2) a certain a guy I really like is here.
So much for my good mood.
I wouldn't care so much about being rejected from the University of Iowa except 1) it's waaaaay cheaper than the U of Minnesota and 2) a certain a guy I really like is here.
So much for my good mood.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
ACCEPTED (part two)
I GOT IN!!!
I just found out I was admitted to the Public Health Administration and Policy program at the University of Minnesota!!! Yippee!
I just found out I was admitted to the Public Health Administration and Policy program at the University of Minnesota!!! Yippee!
Waiting is Killing Me
Today is going to be one of the longest days of the summer. No, it has nothing to do with the summer solstice making the day at least seem longer or having to sit through hours of Firefly with my lovely Scientist. Rather, today is the day I'm finally going to find out if I was accepted into the Masters of Public Health Administration and Policy program at the University of Minnesota. How do I know this? Because, finally, after weeks of polite and not-all-that-polite hounding, I was promised by the academic co-ordinator at U of M that I will have an answer today. Still no word from Iowa.
Of course, when I first read that I felt a rush of excitement. AN ANSWER! Finally. But now, after examining my emotions regarding my impending admittance to an MPH program, I'm not so sure I want an answer either way, because that means the ball will be in my court.
If I'm only admitted into the U of Minnesota and not the U of Iowa, then my decision has pretty much been made for me (the same as if I'm only admitted into the U of Iowa and not the U of Minnesota, which is probably the least likely scenario of the two possible). That pretty much means I'm going to have to get my ass in gear and find a place in Minneapolis (how I'm going to do this, I don't know), get my financial aid stuff figured out, buy a car (no small task there, eh?), pack my shit and complete turn my relationship with the Scientist on its head. That last part--the part about completely uprooting my budding "romance" (God, I hate that word)--is the cause of my trepidation.
I don't want to leave him, but for the sake of my future career and limitless ambition, I think I may very well have to. I keep trying to reason with myself: Scientist will be finishing his Ph.D. this next year and its probably best if I'm not here to distract him, we've only been dating for about 2 months (a little less, actually) so I can not can not can not let this relationship dictate my future, I've never let a relationship control my decisions so I shouldn't start doing that now, etc. So, why is it nagging at me still? How did I let this man get to me so easily? How did he manage to weasel his way into my life so effortlessly without me noticing?
I can't win. I'll be really disappointed if I don't get in and I'll be really at a loss if I do get in. Jesus, why didn't someone warn me Adulthood sucked so much?
Of course, when I first read that I felt a rush of excitement. AN ANSWER! Finally. But now, after examining my emotions regarding my impending admittance to an MPH program, I'm not so sure I want an answer either way, because that means the ball will be in my court.
If I'm only admitted into the U of Minnesota and not the U of Iowa, then my decision has pretty much been made for me (the same as if I'm only admitted into the U of Iowa and not the U of Minnesota, which is probably the least likely scenario of the two possible). That pretty much means I'm going to have to get my ass in gear and find a place in Minneapolis (how I'm going to do this, I don't know), get my financial aid stuff figured out, buy a car (no small task there, eh?), pack my shit and complete turn my relationship with the Scientist on its head. That last part--the part about completely uprooting my budding "romance" (God, I hate that word)--is the cause of my trepidation.
I don't want to leave him, but for the sake of my future career and limitless ambition, I think I may very well have to. I keep trying to reason with myself: Scientist will be finishing his Ph.D. this next year and its probably best if I'm not here to distract him, we've only been dating for about 2 months (a little less, actually) so I can not can not can not let this relationship dictate my future, I've never let a relationship control my decisions so I shouldn't start doing that now, etc. So, why is it nagging at me still? How did I let this man get to me so easily? How did he manage to weasel his way into my life so effortlessly without me noticing?
I can't win. I'll be really disappointed if I don't get in and I'll be really at a loss if I do get in. Jesus, why didn't someone warn me Adulthood sucked so much?
Monday, June 12, 2006
More waiting
It rained all weekend, damn it. Scientist and I didn't do squat. We watched Me, You and Everyone We Know which neither of us enjoyed. I love weird independent films, but I just got bored with this one. Then we watched Firefly which is the series the movie Serendipity is based on; I thought it was boring for the first 45 minutes, but then it got a lot better. Other than that we grilled, ate pancakes, and mourned the loss of a perfectly good weekend to shitty shitty weather. That and I tried not to get pissed about not hearing anything from U of Minnesota or U of Iowa.
The reason why I'm so irritated about not hearing anything from U of M/U of Iowa yet is not because of pure impatience. No, by not hearing anything from either school I can't move forward with any of my plans: I can't apartment hunt, look for a car, sign papers that will put me thousands of dollars in debt to the federal government, nothin'.... And furthermore, I find it both incredibly irresponsible and unprofessional that they haven't informed me of their decision yet; it's been almost 7 weeks for Christ's sakes!
The reason why I'm so irritated about not hearing anything from U of M/U of Iowa yet is not because of pure impatience. No, by not hearing anything from either school I can't move forward with any of my plans: I can't apartment hunt, look for a car, sign papers that will put me thousands of dollars in debt to the federal government, nothin'.... And furthermore, I find it both incredibly irresponsible and unprofessional that they haven't informed me of their decision yet; it's been almost 7 weeks for Christ's sakes!
Friday, June 09, 2006
Another potenially great weekend
I find it sad that after only one day off, I'm already kinda bored. Bored and anxious. I think I'm a little down because of the rainy weather and the very discouraging lack of response from either the U of M or the U of Iowa regarding my MPH application.
Yesterday, however, I had a fabulous day. Scientist and I went for a nice sweaty bike ride and had a typically wonderful evening together. If you guys saw how disgustingly cute we are, you'd puke. I think the Scientist's friends would tease him mercilessly if they heard some of the gooey sweet shit he says to me. I love it!
Tonight we're going to have dinner with my mom and then maybe go to B & N and geek out together. It's employee appreciation week, so we'll have access to my mom's 40% discount, which rocks my world.
I think next week I need to start brushing up on my Russian. I've totally neglected it the last six months, and I don't want to start losing it.
Have a great weekend guys!
Yesterday, however, I had a fabulous day. Scientist and I went for a nice sweaty bike ride and had a typically wonderful evening together. If you guys saw how disgustingly cute we are, you'd puke. I think the Scientist's friends would tease him mercilessly if they heard some of the gooey sweet shit he says to me. I love it!
Tonight we're going to have dinner with my mom and then maybe go to B & N and geek out together. It's employee appreciation week, so we'll have access to my mom's 40% discount, which rocks my world.
I think next week I need to start brushing up on my Russian. I've totally neglected it the last six months, and I don't want to start losing it.
Have a great weekend guys!
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
My shitty day
Warning: If you don't want to hear me whine do not, I repeat, do not read the following post.
Yesterday was a shitty day. Here's why:
1. My project is still not done because my scorers, who are all cool people, keep either not showing up or calling in "sick". Yes, yes, I know I, their supervisor and supposed leader, called in sick on Friday, but that's different. I hadn't called in or missed, like 500 times (oh, I'm not even exaggerating so get off my back, bitch) and then decided to just skip the end of the project when my team needed me most, DAMN IT.
2. I weigh the most I have ever weighed in my entire life. God. Fucking. Damn. It. I guess this might be linked to me being able to bench press 70 lbs and lifting weights and stuff, but still. I don't feel heavy. I don't look heavy. ARRRGH.
3. I paid 173 fucking dollars for an medical exam yesterday (that's how much I know I weigh, bitch) after I was told that since I didn't make jack shit, I'd be eligible for a waiver. So, I don't make enough to actually pay for, say, insurance or the cost of a routine yearly exam, but I do make to much to qualify for a lil' assistance.
4. I had a scorer get pissed at me after I calmly explained I couldn't let him work overtime. This was after I had announced the decision to work overtime was not up to me and I had not received authorization to let them work over 8 hours.
5. Neither the University of Minnesota nor the University of Iowa has sent me my admittance/rejection letter. This was after I was told I'd know by now. I applied April 27th, for Christ fucking sakes, they should have an admission decision by now.
I'm going to go and pout in a corner now. See ya.
Yesterday was a shitty day. Here's why:
1. My project is still not done because my scorers, who are all cool people, keep either not showing up or calling in "sick". Yes, yes, I know I, their supervisor and supposed leader, called in sick on Friday, but that's different. I hadn't called in or missed, like 500 times (oh, I'm not even exaggerating so get off my back, bitch) and then decided to just skip the end of the project when my team needed me most, DAMN IT.
2. I weigh the most I have ever weighed in my entire life. God. Fucking. Damn. It. I guess this might be linked to me being able to bench press 70 lbs and lifting weights and stuff, but still. I don't feel heavy. I don't look heavy. ARRRGH.
3. I paid 173 fucking dollars for an medical exam yesterday (that's how much I know I weigh, bitch) after I was told that since I didn't make jack shit, I'd be eligible for a waiver. So, I don't make enough to actually pay for, say, insurance or the cost of a routine yearly exam, but I do make to much to qualify for a lil' assistance.
4. I had a scorer get pissed at me after I calmly explained I couldn't let him work overtime. This was after I had announced the decision to work overtime was not up to me and I had not received authorization to let them work over 8 hours.
5. Neither the University of Minnesota nor the University of Iowa has sent me my admittance/rejection letter. This was after I was told I'd know by now. I applied April 27th, for Christ fucking sakes, they should have an admission decision by now.
I'm going to go and pout in a corner now. See ya.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Hooky
I've made the executive decision that today, after 2 days of migranes and stress at work, I'm taking the day off. I need it. Badly. Yesterday I felt so shitty I almost curled up under my desk at work and took a nap. No kidding.
In other, much more positive, news, I bought a bike yesterday. It's red. It rides like a dream. It's a Giant (that would be the brand name). Bikes certainly have changed since I was a kid with a pink ten speed Schwinn; this one has two different sets of gears, as well as a front brake and a back brake.
More importantly, though, I totally kicked the Scientist's ass when went for a ride last night. I think he thought he'd have to, like, slow down for me and stuff. Instead, he was the one huffing and puffing by the end of our ride, while I was only a little tired (okay, the hills by his place do suck a little). It felt good to get some solid outdoor exercise; I forgot how much I love late spring and early summer in Iowa.
In other, much more positive, news, I bought a bike yesterday. It's red. It rides like a dream. It's a Giant (that would be the brand name). Bikes certainly have changed since I was a kid with a pink ten speed Schwinn; this one has two different sets of gears, as well as a front brake and a back brake.
More importantly, though, I totally kicked the Scientist's ass when went for a ride last night. I think he thought he'd have to, like, slow down for me and stuff. Instead, he was the one huffing and puffing by the end of our ride, while I was only a little tired (okay, the hills by his place do suck a little). It felt good to get some solid outdoor exercise; I forgot how much I love late spring and early summer in Iowa.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
I'm wearing a skirt today
Three day weekends rock, don't you agree? I'm excited about this weekend but I'd be more excited if my Scientist were in town, but seeing as how he's off hanging out with grandma and spotting bobcats feasting on roadkill while whizzing down the open road, I'm out of luck.
I also wish I would've heard something from the U of Minnesota and the U of Iowa by now. I turned my application over 4 weeks ago and haven't heard squat. I think on Tuesday I'll give both departments a call. I was told by both parties that I should have heard something by now.
I haven't got much planned really; I'm going to look for a bike (does anyone in the area know where to get a good mountain bike?), read, hang out with my dad, work out and maybe call a few people I haven't talked to in a while.
I hope everyone has a great weekend.
I also wish I would've heard something from the U of Minnesota and the U of Iowa by now. I turned my application over 4 weeks ago and haven't heard squat. I think on Tuesday I'll give both departments a call. I was told by both parties that I should have heard something by now.
I haven't got much planned really; I'm going to look for a bike (does anyone in the area know where to get a good mountain bike?), read, hang out with my dad, work out and maybe call a few people I haven't talked to in a while.
I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Sexual Harassment Soapbox
I was having a great day until about 4 pm when I called my lawyer to ask him about something regarding the status of my case. I won't bore you with the details, but needless to say I got a little testy and now I'm in a pissy mood. I even ditched my Pilates class and workout to come home, pout, listen to my iPod and fix myself some comfort food.
I lodged a formal complaint against Jackass yesterday. Apparently, he went into HR on Tuesday morning and talked to our HR guy (who, incidentally really likes me, as most people at my job do), who then requested that I write down an account of everything happened. After I'd written everything up my boss, H, and I then went in and talked to HR guy. I got the whole speech about howI shouldn't have to put up with this type of harassment, blah blah blah. Everyone nodded their heads and agreed Jackass had, indeed, been a jackass and if anything else happened I shouldn't hesitate to come to HR guy and we would then "deal with Jackass in the appropriate manner". In other words, his ass will be fired.
What I found a little, well, disturbing was a series of comments H made regarding what would have been the appropriate manner for Jackass to ask me out and how this was a 'generational thing'. According to her, part of the problem with this "whole thing" was the difference between how my generation deals with "this sort of situation" and the way H and Jackass's generation deals with it. H said, "If he had said something like this to me, I would have, you know...blown it off [insert wild hand wave here]. But your generation [nod to me] doesn't deal with it that way...which you shouldn't. Jackass [okay, that's not his real name, I'll admit it], needs to learn how to control himself."
Color me stupid, but I think part of the reason why Jackass still has a fucking job at Pearson is because of a general belittling, oh-it's-not-that-serious feeling towards sexual harassment, as H expressed, there. I absolutely agree with H--a small part of Jackass's problem is that he didn't grow up with SH policies at the work place like I did. But the other, larger part of the problem, the part that I think caused him to open his fucking mouth, is that he a) honestly does think what he did was inappropriate and b) he's never been called on it even though he's acted inappropriately towards other women at at least two different jobs. It's attitudes like H's, not to mention the attitude of the other supervisor on my project who led to him thinking it was okay to say that to me.
The other highly suspect thing H said was, "it totally would have been different had he asked you out in the parking lot at work, alone, than doing it like he did at work in front of everyone." When I made the comment that, yeah it totally would have been different, it would have creeped me out even more to have him approach me in a parking lot alone, she said, "Oh no, that would have been some guy just asking you out. That would have been okay."
Um, I beg to differ. I've had people ask me out before outside of work and when I've turned them down, our work relationship has either turned sour or really strained. I'm not saying you can't date someone you work with (God knows I've dated plenty of my co-workers; my last relationship was with a man that was my boss), but you have to be very careful how you approach that person. Asking someone, say, to go to a party, or out with a bunch of people is a way to spend time with that person and not run the risk of either a) rejection, b) seeing if that person is truly interested and c) avoiding charges of SH.
I don't want to crucify this guy, but, really, if I don't take the higher ground here and make this about him acting and saying things that are inappropriate in a professional setting he'll simply keep doing it. History has proven that. I hate being the example as well as making an example of another person in order to prove a point but I feel like in this situation I need to see this through to the end.
I lodged a formal complaint against Jackass yesterday. Apparently, he went into HR on Tuesday morning and talked to our HR guy (who, incidentally really likes me, as most people at my job do), who then requested that I write down an account of everything happened. After I'd written everything up my boss, H, and I then went in and talked to HR guy. I got the whole speech about howI shouldn't have to put up with this type of harassment, blah blah blah. Everyone nodded their heads and agreed Jackass had, indeed, been a jackass and if anything else happened I shouldn't hesitate to come to HR guy and we would then "deal with Jackass in the appropriate manner". In other words, his ass will be fired.
What I found a little, well, disturbing was a series of comments H made regarding what would have been the appropriate manner for Jackass to ask me out and how this was a 'generational thing'. According to her, part of the problem with this "whole thing" was the difference between how my generation deals with "this sort of situation" and the way H and Jackass's generation deals with it. H said, "If he had said something like this to me, I would have, you know...blown it off [insert wild hand wave here]. But your generation [nod to me] doesn't deal with it that way...which you shouldn't. Jackass [okay, that's not his real name, I'll admit it], needs to learn how to control himself."
Color me stupid, but I think part of the reason why Jackass still has a fucking job at Pearson is because of a general belittling, oh-it's-not-that-serious feeling towards sexual harassment, as H expressed, there. I absolutely agree with H--a small part of Jackass's problem is that he didn't grow up with SH policies at the work place like I did. But the other, larger part of the problem, the part that I think caused him to open his fucking mouth, is that he a) honestly does think what he did was inappropriate and b) he's never been called on it even though he's acted inappropriately towards other women at at least two different jobs. It's attitudes like H's, not to mention the attitude of the other supervisor on my project who led to him thinking it was okay to say that to me.
The other highly suspect thing H said was, "it totally would have been different had he asked you out in the parking lot at work, alone, than doing it like he did at work in front of everyone." When I made the comment that, yeah it totally would have been different, it would have creeped me out even more to have him approach me in a parking lot alone, she said, "Oh no, that would have been some guy just asking you out. That would have been okay."
Um, I beg to differ. I've had people ask me out before outside of work and when I've turned them down, our work relationship has either turned sour or really strained. I'm not saying you can't date someone you work with (God knows I've dated plenty of my co-workers; my last relationship was with a man that was my boss), but you have to be very careful how you approach that person. Asking someone, say, to go to a party, or out with a bunch of people is a way to spend time with that person and not run the risk of either a) rejection, b) seeing if that person is truly interested and c) avoiding charges of SH.
I don't want to crucify this guy, but, really, if I don't take the higher ground here and make this about him acting and saying things that are inappropriate in a professional setting he'll simply keep doing it. History has proven that. I hate being the example as well as making an example of another person in order to prove a point but I feel like in this situation I need to see this through to the end.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Working girl
Work has been more stressful than usual. As most of you know, I'm working as a supervisor at Pearson for the next few weeks on a project. The beginning of any new project kind of sucks; the scorers don't know what they're doing, I don't know what I'm doing (although I have to pretend like I do), there's mass confusion, etc. Nothing too unusal or unexpected.
Unfortunately, one thing I didn't expect was a jackass on my team (he's what you would call my 'subordinate', I guess) hitting on me in front of everyone, and, when I didn't respond the way he wanted, making a fool out of himself and embarrassing me. This is how it went down:
(Me and 45 year old subordinate discussing a paper)
Him: You know, if you weren't my supervisor I'd ask you out.
Me:(standing there, blinking, and in shock)
Him: You're suppose to say, "Oh no, that's okay."
Me: (feeble laugh, still in shock)
About two seconds after that took place, J (one of my two bosses), charged up and started scolding Jackass for misscoring a paper. I siezed that opportunity to slink off, but was inundated with questions by a scorer sitting near Jackass. J, after finishing his rather strenuous speech about how poorly Jackass was scoring then pulled me aside and proceeded to tell me that he had heard the entire exchange between me and Jackass (as did a bunch of people around us, I found out later) and would "totally back me up" in I went to HR about it. I honestly think he was more upset about it than I was.
I ended up not needing to go to HR, seeing as how the whole situation was taken out of my hands when H found out about it. It seems as though this isn't the first time Jackass has hit on his supervisor; in fact, he hit on the supervisor on the other team (my project is divided into three teams) repeatedly on a previous project. As a result she had requested he not be on her team, and thus he was put on mine.
And as if those two incidents alone didn't make him a big enough insensitive dickhead, I was told later that he was fired from his last job for having an affair with his boss's wife! Can you believe that shit? I thought that stuff only happened in on TV. Who would be stupid enough to sleep with their boss's wife....and then, once they've been fired from that job to continue to hit on women at their new job? Does this man only think with the head in his pants, for Christ's sakes?
Thankfully, today we had a re-ordering of teams, and Jackass is no longer my problem. I think I may go ahead and have a private conversation with HR about how I think they should strongly consider firing this man. Permanently. I'm actually surprised they haven't done it already.
Unfortunately, one thing I didn't expect was a jackass on my team (he's what you would call my 'subordinate', I guess) hitting on me in front of everyone, and, when I didn't respond the way he wanted, making a fool out of himself and embarrassing me. This is how it went down:
(Me and 45 year old subordinate discussing a paper)
Him: You know, if you weren't my supervisor I'd ask you out.
Me:(standing there, blinking, and in shock)
Him: You're suppose to say, "Oh no, that's okay."
Me: (feeble laugh, still in shock)
About two seconds after that took place, J (one of my two bosses), charged up and started scolding Jackass for misscoring a paper. I siezed that opportunity to slink off, but was inundated with questions by a scorer sitting near Jackass. J, after finishing his rather strenuous speech about how poorly Jackass was scoring then pulled me aside and proceeded to tell me that he had heard the entire exchange between me and Jackass (as did a bunch of people around us, I found out later) and would "totally back me up" in I went to HR about it. I honestly think he was more upset about it than I was.
I ended up not needing to go to HR, seeing as how the whole situation was taken out of my hands when H found out about it. It seems as though this isn't the first time Jackass has hit on his supervisor; in fact, he hit on the supervisor on the other team (my project is divided into three teams) repeatedly on a previous project. As a result she had requested he not be on her team, and thus he was put on mine.
And as if those two incidents alone didn't make him a big enough insensitive dickhead, I was told later that he was fired from his last job for having an affair with his boss's wife! Can you believe that shit? I thought that stuff only happened in on TV. Who would be stupid enough to sleep with their boss's wife....and then, once they've been fired from that job to continue to hit on women at their new job? Does this man only think with the head in his pants, for Christ's sakes?
Thankfully, today we had a re-ordering of teams, and Jackass is no longer my problem. I think I may go ahead and have a private conversation with HR about how I think they should strongly consider firing this man. Permanently. I'm actually surprised they haven't done it already.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
A Fabulous Weekend
Finally, summer has (more or less) arrived in Iowa!
I had a wonderful weekend. I spent basically all of it in Iowa City with the Scientist. In fact, I guess you could say it was a turning point, of sorts, with him: he introduced me to his friends, showed me where he worked, cooked for me and went shopping at the girliest of girly stores for smelly soap.
It was awesome. I didn't get sick of him, I don't think he got tired of me, the two friends of his I met were super sweet, he didn't make fun of my weird food habits--what more could I ask for? Other than having met him about 5 months ago...
I had a wonderful weekend. I spent basically all of it in Iowa City with the Scientist. In fact, I guess you could say it was a turning point, of sorts, with him: he introduced me to his friends, showed me where he worked, cooked for me and went shopping at the girliest of girly stores for smelly soap.
It was awesome. I didn't get sick of him, I don't think he got tired of me, the two friends of his I met were super sweet, he didn't make fun of my weird food habits--what more could I ask for? Other than having met him about 5 months ago...
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Teensy weensy bit guilty
Why, oh why, do I have to go back to work on Tuesday?
I guess it'll be nice to have something to do other than work out, read and hang out with the Scientist, which is precisely what I've been doing this whole weekend.
Speaking of the Scientist, I'm becoming a bigger and bigger fan the more I get to know him. Yes, he's conservative, which is certainly a change from the men I usually date, but he's not socially conservative which is really what's most important to me (no homophobes for me, thank you very much). That, and he's really pretty open minded and respects my opinions, which often times differ greatly from his (on Tuesday we had a heated discussion about the role biology plays in determining the destinies of each gender respectively). He's a good cook and gives me a lot of shit, in addition to being able to take it, which is a nice.
There were numerous times over the weekend where I almost came clean about this blog, but swallowed my confession at the last minute. I guess I want to see where this is all going, in addition to feeling like I should hold something back. I know this is ridiculous, but I feel like I'm jinxing things by acknowledging to him that I've been so openly positive about things going on between us in such a public way.
God, that looks even dumber in print than it sounds in my head.
I guess it'll be nice to have something to do other than work out, read and hang out with the Scientist, which is precisely what I've been doing this whole weekend.
Speaking of the Scientist, I'm becoming a bigger and bigger fan the more I get to know him. Yes, he's conservative, which is certainly a change from the men I usually date, but he's not socially conservative which is really what's most important to me (no homophobes for me, thank you very much). That, and he's really pretty open minded and respects my opinions, which often times differ greatly from his (on Tuesday we had a heated discussion about the role biology plays in determining the destinies of each gender respectively). He's a good cook and gives me a lot of shit, in addition to being able to take it, which is a nice.
There were numerous times over the weekend where I almost came clean about this blog, but swallowed my confession at the last minute. I guess I want to see where this is all going, in addition to feeling like I should hold something back. I know this is ridiculous, but I feel like I'm jinxing things by acknowledging to him that I've been so openly positive about things going on between us in such a public way.
God, that looks even dumber in print than it sounds in my head.
Friday, May 12, 2006
I heart Federal Student Aid
Yesterday I received a letter from the Financial Aid office at Marquette. They want to give me almost $30,000 for my first year of graduate school there.
I thought receiving a letter that clearly stated in black and white how much I was really going to need to borrow (and eventually pay back) would flip me out, but it had just the opposite effect: I felt relieved. No matter what happens regarding my applications to the University of Iowa and the University of Minnesota, I know I can always go to Marquette.
I've pretty much decided that if I'm admitted to the University of Minnesota, I'll accept. I think....See, I say, er, write that, and suddenly I can think of 5 reasons why I should choose Marquette over Minnesota: it's a small school, by getting a degree focused on Public Service I'll be able to easily move into other areas of non-profit work, I'll get (some) more non profit experience at MU, Milwaukee will be cheaper than Minneapolis, and it would be nice to challenge myself yet again by moving TOTALLY out of my comfort zone to a city I've never even been to (unlike Minneapolis which is about as familiar to me as any city out of state can be because I spent time there as a child).
Getting that letter from Marquette also made me a teensy weensy bit sad. See, for all my bitching about being back home, it's been wonderful to be home and spend time with my mom and all you guys (this is about as close to a collective hug and kiss as I can give y'all via the internet, folks). I've hung out with all the people I love as well as made a number of new friends, none of which I could do if I were any place but Iowa.
I'm also unsure about what to do with the Scientist. I've been seeing him for only a few weeks, but I really like him. In fact, I think he's pretty fucking great, even if he is politically conservative (I know, it makes me cringe too). He's really smart, funny as hell, thoughtful, a great conversationalist, challenges me constantly and, well, he thinks I'm the shit. I was really up front with him about my plans to flee from the first time we met, but, well, now I'm starting to think it's not going to be so easy to just leave. Time won't make this any easier; it'll just complicate both of our feelings for each other. I'm not going to think about that now, though. I'm just going to have fun and enjoy his company.
I thought receiving a letter that clearly stated in black and white how much I was really going to need to borrow (and eventually pay back) would flip me out, but it had just the opposite effect: I felt relieved. No matter what happens regarding my applications to the University of Iowa and the University of Minnesota, I know I can always go to Marquette.
I've pretty much decided that if I'm admitted to the University of Minnesota, I'll accept. I think....See, I say, er, write that, and suddenly I can think of 5 reasons why I should choose Marquette over Minnesota: it's a small school, by getting a degree focused on Public Service I'll be able to easily move into other areas of non-profit work, I'll get (some) more non profit experience at MU, Milwaukee will be cheaper than Minneapolis, and it would be nice to challenge myself yet again by moving TOTALLY out of my comfort zone to a city I've never even been to (unlike Minneapolis which is about as familiar to me as any city out of state can be because I spent time there as a child).
Getting that letter from Marquette also made me a teensy weensy bit sad. See, for all my bitching about being back home, it's been wonderful to be home and spend time with my mom and all you guys (this is about as close to a collective hug and kiss as I can give y'all via the internet, folks). I've hung out with all the people I love as well as made a number of new friends, none of which I could do if I were any place but Iowa.
I'm also unsure about what to do with the Scientist. I've been seeing him for only a few weeks, but I really like him. In fact, I think he's pretty fucking great, even if he is politically conservative (I know, it makes me cringe too). He's really smart, funny as hell, thoughtful, a great conversationalist, challenges me constantly and, well, he thinks I'm the shit. I was really up front with him about my plans to flee from the first time we met, but, well, now I'm starting to think it's not going to be so easy to just leave. Time won't make this any easier; it'll just complicate both of our feelings for each other. I'm not going to think about that now, though. I'm just going to have fun and enjoy his company.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Post-accident
It's been a rollercoaster week so far. I wish I could avoid these ridiculously emotional weeks where I swing from one intensely dramatic mood to another. It's exhausting and I'm a total bitch and I know it, which, in turn, make me frustrated and even more bitchy.
The thing that seems to set me off, almost without fail, is when I have any sort of appointment relating to my lawsuit or any pain that resulted from injuries incurred in my accident. This week I've had both.
On Monday I had an appointment with my newest physical therapist for a running assessment. I was really jazzed about this appointment because I foolishly thought having my running "assessed" would mean I would be back on my way to starting a running program, which I haven't been able to maintain in any way, shape or form because of my back injuries. A problem arose when I started having back and hip pain on Thursday, which I alerted my PT to and subsquently cancelled my appointment because of, last week. I was still having problems on Monday, but my PT, seemed unperturbed about it and when I showed up on Monday said she wanted me to continue anyways. I foolishly ignored my better judgement and experience in this area and decided to trust her judgement and go along with the assesment anyways.
So, I got on the treadmill, as instructed, and walked and, later ran. And, other than being completely disconcerted by the fact that I had two women totally staring at my ass and "evalutating" me as I trotted along, things went okay. I was even impressed by my ability to run for several minutes on end and not really get winded at all. Not bad for a three year break (more or less).
The thing that seems to set me off, almost without fail, is when I have any sort of appointment relating to my lawsuit or any pain that resulted from injuries incurred in my accident. This week I've had both.
On Monday I had an appointment with my newest physical therapist for a running assessment. I was really jazzed about this appointment because I foolishly thought having my running "assessed" would mean I would be back on my way to starting a running program, which I haven't been able to maintain in any way, shape or form because of my back injuries. A problem arose when I started having back and hip pain on Thursday, which I alerted my PT to and subsquently cancelled my appointment because of, last week. I was still having problems on Monday, but my PT, seemed unperturbed about it and when I showed up on Monday said she wanted me to continue anyways. I foolishly ignored my better judgement and experience in this area and decided to trust her judgement and go along with the assesment anyways.
So, I got on the treadmill, as instructed, and walked and, later ran. And, other than being completely disconcerted by the fact that I had two women totally staring at my ass and "evalutating" me as I trotted along, things went okay. I was even impressed by my ability to run for several minutes on end and not really get winded at all. Not bad for a three year break (more or less).
What unfolded after my run was what irritated the hell out of me. After I had finished running they basically told me my form was all wrong--I was compensating for tension in my hip and a bad achilles in my left heel. Then, I got down on the floor and proceeded to completely fuck up the exercises I had been shown a week and a half before. I had on a moderate amount of control over my right hip flexors and was totally doing an exercise incorrectly.
Now, I've had bouts of pain worse than this most recent episode before. The incredibley frustrating thing about this appointment was my PT kept looking at the other woman who was clearly more experienced and was acting in what I can only assume to be a supervisory role, and saying "She was so much more stable and controlled last time...." In fact, I bet she repeated this, face flushed and clearly irritated at me (?!), half a dozen times in the 45 minutes I was there. We ended the session with her uttering this phrase again to me, very quickly running through the exercises I had been messing up and rushing me out the door.
I was pissed off. I felt like this woman had wronged me in two very real ways: a) she gave me some seriously false hope which led to a great deal of frustration on my part when it didn't work out the way we had hoped and b) she had the gall to get irritated at me when I was the one in pain. How messed up is that? Now, I realize I may have made her look silly in front of her boss, but for Christ's sake, I didn't do it intentionally and in the grand scheme of things, my on-going back pain is far more serious than her looking a little like a jackass in front of someone she wanted to impress.
I've talked about this before with my friends and family but I don't think any one--not one single fucking person reading this blog right now--can understand how frustrating, disheartening and absolutely maddening is it for me to continue to have health problems as a result of my accident. I was explaining this to the Scientist a couple days ago. I said that I often times divide my adult life into two distinct periods: the life pre-accident and then my life post-accident. Not even Peace Corps has had a big of an effect on how I conduct myself and live my life on a day-to-day basis as those 10 seconds three years ago. My accident was as much a part of my Peace Corps experience as being single and female was: it is a part of me now. And that really fucking sucks.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
'Napolis is the bomb
I think I may be in love with Minneapolis.
In fact, so many great things happened both before and during my trip to Minneapolis I'm not quite sure where to start. I guess I could do something lame like make a list, but that would be a poor excuse for a blog entry and entirely inappropriate given the wonderful time I had. No, instead I'll embark on a too-long synopsis of my 4 day trip to 'Napolis.
The impetus for my trip was a silent auction. Unless you're dead or have been completely tuning me out for the last, oh, 5 years or so, you know I spent some time in Ukraine as a Peace Corps volunteer, and over the course of that I time I became entangled in various camps, seminars, committees and projects.
One of the two most productive projects I worked on was a camp organized by my amazing friends Rosa and Wendy. I had the incredible good fortune of living only three hours north of the town they served in, Nikolaev (that would be Mykoliav in Ukrainian), and over the course of the two years I served in Ukraine was coaxed into working on ennumberable projects they thought up. The most consuming of those projects was the regrettably named Camp ABC (American Borsht Camp--the campers came up with the name, not us, and I cringed every time I heard it last year).
Camp ABC was by far the most rewarding (if not the most exhausting) project I participated in as a Peace Corps Volunteer. For two weeks I taught civics and writing to about 50 teachers and students between the ages of 15-22. I felt like, for once, I was having an impact on the students and was facilitating meaningful cross-cultural dialogue as opposed to forcing the students to talk. We, the volunteers, also had the amazingly good fortune to work with a fabulous group of Ukrainian college kids who acted as counselors and teaching assistants.
After last year's smashing success of Camp ABC, Rosa and Wendy decided to expand the camp internationally and try and attract students from all over Europe and the U.S. As it stands right now we have applicants from Armenia, Georgia, Macedonia, Albania, Belorus and the U.S. planning on attending....Rosa/Wendy also made the executive decision to change the name of the camp to International Outreach Camp (IOC). Thank God.
Of course, with the expansion for the camp came the need for more money. So, in addition to having everyone involved apply for any and every possible grant that we had even a remote chance of receiving, Rosa started appealing to Minneapolis based businesses for services that we could auction off in a silent auction. And boy did she get some cool stuff!
So, on Monday, Rosa and I spent all day running around getting stuff organized and hauling items from one place to another. While I wouldn't describe it as "fun", it was really nice to spend some quality time with Rosa, as well as feel like I'm still contributing to the camp.
Things went well. We didn't end up raising as much money as we had hoped given all the things we had to auction off, but we were still successful overall. I also ended up with an awesome new bag and a Russian doll from Baltic Imports in Minneapolis--all for only $29! Not bad. Plus, I spent my money knowing it was going to an excellent cause.
Tuesday, my mom and I went to the Mall of America were I proceeded to spend a buttload of money. I'm usually very hesitant to spend money on myself, but I desperately needed sandals and shirts (not to mention those little foamy things that go over my iPod earbuds--I keep losing them). That, andI have miraculously mangaged to hold onto the majority of my readjustment allowance.
In fact, so many great things happened both before and during my trip to Minneapolis I'm not quite sure where to start. I guess I could do something lame like make a list, but that would be a poor excuse for a blog entry and entirely inappropriate given the wonderful time I had. No, instead I'll embark on a too-long synopsis of my 4 day trip to 'Napolis.
The impetus for my trip was a silent auction. Unless you're dead or have been completely tuning me out for the last, oh, 5 years or so, you know I spent some time in Ukraine as a Peace Corps volunteer, and over the course of that I time I became entangled in various camps, seminars, committees and projects.
One of the two most productive projects I worked on was a camp organized by my amazing friends Rosa and Wendy. I had the incredible good fortune of living only three hours north of the town they served in, Nikolaev (that would be Mykoliav in Ukrainian), and over the course of the two years I served in Ukraine was coaxed into working on ennumberable projects they thought up. The most consuming of those projects was the regrettably named Camp ABC (American Borsht Camp--the campers came up with the name, not us, and I cringed every time I heard it last year).
Camp ABC was by far the most rewarding (if not the most exhausting) project I participated in as a Peace Corps Volunteer. For two weeks I taught civics and writing to about 50 teachers and students between the ages of 15-22. I felt like, for once, I was having an impact on the students and was facilitating meaningful cross-cultural dialogue as opposed to forcing the students to talk. We, the volunteers, also had the amazingly good fortune to work with a fabulous group of Ukrainian college kids who acted as counselors and teaching assistants.
After last year's smashing success of Camp ABC, Rosa and Wendy decided to expand the camp internationally and try and attract students from all over Europe and the U.S. As it stands right now we have applicants from Armenia, Georgia, Macedonia, Albania, Belorus and the U.S. planning on attending....Rosa/Wendy also made the executive decision to change the name of the camp to International Outreach Camp (IOC). Thank God.
Of course, with the expansion for the camp came the need for more money. So, in addition to having everyone involved apply for any and every possible grant that we had even a remote chance of receiving, Rosa started appealing to Minneapolis based businesses for services that we could auction off in a silent auction. And boy did she get some cool stuff!
So, on Monday, Rosa and I spent all day running around getting stuff organized and hauling items from one place to another. While I wouldn't describe it as "fun", it was really nice to spend some quality time with Rosa, as well as feel like I'm still contributing to the camp.
Things went well. We didn't end up raising as much money as we had hoped given all the things we had to auction off, but we were still successful overall. I also ended up with an awesome new bag and a Russian doll from Baltic Imports in Minneapolis--all for only $29! Not bad. Plus, I spent my money knowing it was going to an excellent cause.
Tuesday, my mom and I went to the Mall of America were I proceeded to spend a buttload of money. I'm usually very hesitant to spend money on myself, but I desperately needed sandals and shirts (not to mention those little foamy things that go over my iPod earbuds--I keep losing them). That, andI have miraculously mangaged to hold onto the majority of my readjustment allowance.
Wednesday, my mom and I went back to the mall, shopped a little more and then headed to the University of Minnesota campus where I had an appointment with a professor at the School of Public Health. It was, when all was said and done, a productive appointment. In all honesty, though, I guess thought I would be meeting with someone from the department that had more clout as far as my impending admittance to the Public Health Administration and Policy program was concerned. The gentleman I met with at the SPH is the director of a certificate program I'm interested in pursuing at U of M, not a member of the admittance committee. Nevertheless, he was duly impressed with my Peace Corps experience and seemed excited about having someone who was interested in doing HIV/AIDS work in Eastern Europe. If I'm accepted into the program I will be the only person doing any work/research in Eastern Europe. I guess that would make me a trail blazer.
The last exciting thing that happened while I was in Minneapolis came in the form of an e-mail from the Peace Corps Washington office. It appears as though I am, in fact, qualified for the recruiter position and my file has been approved and forwarded on to the Peace Corps Minneapolis office. That means I have to basically continue waiting in the vain hope that someone in the Peace Corps Minneapolis office will contact me for a interview. I'm really trying not to get excited, seeing as how even if I DO get a call from the Minneapolis office and do go to said interview, I still won't get the job. Hey, if being negative and refusing to believe I will be offered this job has worked well thus far, why start being up-beat and hopeful now?
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Minnnnnneapolis
I may or may not be posting anything for the next few days: I'm going to Minneapolis and I'm not sure if I'll have internet access or time to write anything. Here are the things I hope to accomplish while gone:
1. Get drunk with JP. Really drunk.
2. Impress JP's girlfriend, Tara, with my slurred toasts in Russian.
3. Buy clothes.
4. Avoid screaming children at the Mall of America.
5. Help my friend Rosa with her auction.
6. Try not to kill my mother after spending 3 days non-stop with her.
7. Meet with a professor at the University of Minnesota and convince him to give me money and admit me.
It'll be a full weekend. I'm determined to accomplish number one and number four at the very least.
1. Get drunk with JP. Really drunk.
2. Impress JP's girlfriend, Tara, with my slurred toasts in Russian.
3. Buy clothes.
4. Avoid screaming children at the Mall of America.
5. Help my friend Rosa with her auction.
6. Try not to kill my mother after spending 3 days non-stop with her.
7. Meet with a professor at the University of Minnesota and convince him to give me money and admit me.
It'll be a full weekend. I'm determined to accomplish number one and number four at the very least.
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