Last night the Scientist and I went to see Stuart Davis, which was, unsurprisingly, immensely enjoyable. I think it had been almost three years since I'd seen him play, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that I recognized almost none of the songs he played in his first set. Nevertheless, it was weird to go to his show and realize how completely out-of-the-loop I am in regards to music in general. Seeing Stuart and not knowing any of the songs just underscored that.
The Scientist and I had been at the Mill for maybe an hour or so when none other than Greg and Gretchen showed up. I hadn't seen Greg in like 4 months, so it was nice to chat and bum cigarettes off him. Greg also became the first person to ever refer to this blog in public. When I introduced Greg to the Scientist, Greg whispered to me, "Is this the guy you mentioned on your blog?" It literally startled me for a minute: I was afraid Scientist had heard, plus I'm guess I'm still getting use to the idea of being a "blogger". I've never been very hip and this is a title that just smacks of post-modern coolness, thus my reaction to Greg's comment.
It turns out my dear friend Greg hasn't been reading my blog and thought the guy I was referring to was PhD guy from over a month ago. Shame on you, Greg for not reading my blog (I'm kidding, of course).
Greg's comment actually raised an issue that has crossed my mind on several occasions: if I get involved with someone (and my magic eight ball indicating whether or not I'll get involved with the Scientist is still decidedly undecided) at what point do I tell them a) I have a blog and b) I've written about them? There was actually a moment when I was out with PhD guy, when, upon mentioning that I like to write, he asked me, "So, when you say you like to write, what do you mean? What do you like to write?" The honest and straight forward answer, of course, would've been "Oh, nothing serious...I generally just enjoy writing for my blog." Instead, however, I said, "Uh...er...Uh...I like to, you know, uh, write essays and in my journal and stuff." In other words, I lied.
It was, in fact, a good thing I didn't tell PhD guy I had a blog because then he would've asked for the address (as any curious person would have), found my blog, read all about how I felt about him and been totally creeped out. That and, upon finding out he wasn't interested in me, I would've been mortified with embarrassment and not hung out with him like I have after he made it clear to me he just wanted to be friends. And that would've been a damn shame considering how much I enjoy talking with him about politics, teaching, travel, etc.
So, do I wait to see what comes of this thing with the Scientist and then tell him? Am I being dishonest by not telling him or smart in waiting things out before deciding whether or not to tell him?
3 comments:
No no no never tell him you have a blog. At least, not unless you start dating seriously and some time goes by and you feel your relationship is strong enough that he can read the stuff you've written about him/others and laugh it off, which for some men, may come never. A fellow DC chick named Velvet recently had a drama-infused breakup (and accompanying breakdown), all of which was made public on her blog and caused her to share some wisdom. It's a bit drama-heavy, but do take a look.
I told Steve about my blog, he reads it, he comments on it, and it's all cool, but I was dating him before I started it. So the whole time I've been writing on it, I've been ever-conscious of the fact that he (and eventually my stepmom, my sister-in-law, a former professor, and so on) reads it.
Ahh, to tell or not to tell. Well, I suppose that depends on what you use your blog for. In your case, I would suggest that you hold off at least for now. As you use your blog as a diary of sorts, granted it is open to the entire world, and a chronicle of your daily life.
If it were me, I would want to make damn sure that I was entirely comfortable with the person before I let them know. Either that, or from the second you meet the person let them know you have a blog, and that they will undoubtedly, appear in the blog. Then the impetus on you to be fair and open with them at all times is reinforced. Wouldn't want them finding out you don't like them on your blog, as opposed to hearing it from you directly.
Regardless, I liked the Scientist, he seemed like a nice guy. But if you need him beaten up, I'm your man.
Aw, shucks, Greg. You're like the older younger brother I never had.
I'm glad you like the Scientist. I think once he realized we were more than just acquaintances he got kind of nervous. I don't blame him: meeting your date's friends on the second date is a little intimidating.
Oh, and if he ever does anything to hurt my feelings I'm totally cashing in on that favor you offered. I doubt that will happen, seeing as how he seems very nice. So far.
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