Minnnnnneapolis

I may or may not be posting anything for the next few days: I'm going to Minneapolis and I'm not sure if I'll have internet access or time to write anything. Here are the things I hope to accomplish while gone:

1. Get drunk with JP. Really drunk.
2. Impress JP's girlfriend, Tara, with my slurred toasts in Russian.
3. Buy clothes.
4. Avoid screaming children at the Mall of America.
5. Help my friend Rosa with her auction.
6. Try not to kill my mother after spending 3 days non-stop with her.
7. Meet with a professor at the University of Minnesota and convince him to give me money and admit me.

It'll be a full weekend. I'm determined to accomplish number one and number four at the very least.

Stuart Davis

Last night the Scientist and I went to see Stuart Davis, which was, unsurprisingly, immensely enjoyable. I think it had been almost three years since I'd seen him play, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that I recognized almost none of the songs he played in his first set. Nevertheless, it was weird to go to his show and realize how completely out-of-the-loop I am in regards to music in general. Seeing Stuart and not knowing any of the songs just underscored that.

The Scientist and I had been at the Mill for maybe an hour or so when none other than Greg and Gretchen showed up. I hadn't seen Greg in like 4 months, so it was nice to chat and bum cigarettes off him. Greg also became the first person to ever refer to this blog in public. When I introduced Greg to the Scientist, Greg whispered to me, "Is this the guy you mentioned on your blog?" It literally startled me for a minute: I was afraid Scientist had heard, plus I'm guess I'm still getting use to the idea of being a "blogger". I've never been very hip and this is a title that just smacks of post-modern coolness, thus my reaction to Greg's comment.

It turns out my dear friend Greg hasn't been reading my blog and thought the guy I was referring to was PhD guy from over a month ago. Shame on you, Greg for not reading my blog (I'm kidding, of course).

Greg's comment actually raised an issue that has crossed my mind on several occasions: if I get involved with someone (and my magic eight ball indicating whether or not I'll get involved with the Scientist is still decidedly undecided) at what point do I tell them a) I have a blog and b) I've written about them? There was actually a moment when I was out with PhD guy, when, upon mentioning that I like to write, he asked me, "So, when you say you like to write, what do you mean? What do you like to write?" The honest and straight forward answer, of course, would've been "Oh, nothing serious...I generally just enjoy writing for my blog." Instead, however, I said, "Uh...er...Uh...I like to, you know, uh, write essays and in my journal and stuff." In other words, I lied.

It was, in fact, a good thing I didn't tell PhD guy I had a blog because then he would've asked for the address (as any curious person would have), found my blog, read all about how I felt about him and been totally creeped out. That and, upon finding out he wasn't interested in me, I would've been mortified with embarrassment and not hung out with him like I have after he made it clear to me he just wanted to be friends. And that would've been a damn shame considering how much I enjoy talking with him about politics, teaching, travel, etc.

So, do I wait to see what comes of this thing with the Scientist and then tell him? Am I being dishonest by not telling him or smart in waiting things out before deciding whether or not to tell him?

Three cheers!

Well, it's official: I've submitted my applications to the University of Minnesota and the University of Iowa. Now, I wait.

It's funny, when I first arrived home I was dead set against applying to the University of Iowa and staying here any longer than I absolutely had to. But now, well, it wouldn't be the end of the world if I stayed in Iowa City, I guess. I mean.....I don't know, as soon as I say that this alarm goes off in my head. It screams, "DON'T DO IT! GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN! YOU CAN ONLY BUILD A SOLID CAREER OUTSIDE OF IOWA! YOUNG PEOPLE YOUR AGE ARE FLEEING IOWA BECAUSE THERE ARE SO FEW OPPORTUNITIES!"

And yet, it would be so so easy to stay here. I know my fear of resettling in Iowa is completely irrational, and, moreover, is directly related to my fear of ending up trapped here with a family. Don't ask me how staying here for graduate school will somehow magically evolve into me being miserable and strapped down with a family. It's an irrational fear: that's why it makes no sense. Unfortunately, I rarely make any sense.

Wednesday night I had a few beers with this guy in Iowa City who I met (you guessed it) on-line. He's a PhD candidate in a health related field at the University of Iowa (from here on out I'll call him the Scientist). I had a really great time: we drank beer at the Deadwood and talked and talked. He's funny and super smart, and, apparently not into playing head games because he e-mailed me the next day telling me how much he liked hanging out with me and wanted to go out again. Isn't that cool? Three cheers for smart, fun, straight forward men!

Annoyed

I have finally found the one thing more annoying than applying to graduate school: applying for a federal job. Yup, I have managed to find, apply for and endure yet another long and highly annoying application process. I'm getting really good at applying for stuff. I'm also starting to loose steam for doing such things.

I'm applying for a job as a recruiter with Peace Corps. I would be shocked if I got a call for an interview and flabbergasted if I actually got the job. Seriously. Although, on paper I have a lot of things they're looking for: sales experience (EASY--8 years of retail experience), public speaking and training experience (see: supervisor experience at aforementioned retail job, test supervisor experience and PCV experience), as well as being a RPCV (duh).

I don't know why I don't think I won't get a call back....I guess I'm just trying not to get my hopes up. That and if I did get a call for an interview I'd really get my hopes up, only to have them dashed by some stiff in a suit in one of the Peace Corps Washington offices.

Seriously, though, I think I would be a really good recruiter. I'm enthusiastic, fairly friendly, a good judge of character (I'd be interviewing PC applicants and evaluating their potential as possible volunteers), and I can speak with experience and authority on every possible fucked up thing that could happen to one while serving in the Peace Corps. Medical Emergencies? Done it. Awful primary assignment? Been there. Political instability in host country? Seen it. Enduring sexism and lookism on a massive scale? Don't get me started....

In other news, I have a beer drinking engagement with a very pleasant young man in IC tomorrow. He's a graduate student at the University of Iowa who I started chatting with on-line and seems like a nice enough guy (yes, I met him via match). He seems very low key. We'll see what happens.

I think I may have scared Travel Guy off. Oh well.

Bark bark bark

You know that expression about a dog's bark being much worse than his bite? That would be a very good way of describing my date on Saturday. Travel Guy was much more alpha male via e-mail than he was in person. Not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, if you look back on the people I've dated in the past I don't generally like manly men; they remind me too much of those assholes that use to make fun of me for having crazy hair and wearing combat boots in high school. They remind me of Slater fucking Bayliss. ICK.

But I digress. So, I was more than a little nervous on Saturday. Like really nervous. I'm not sure I like the whole element of surprise that comes with this on-line dating thing.

I took my sweet time getting there, too. I hate being early and waiting for someone I don't know. I had to do this with PhD guy everytime we got together and I hated it. I don't know why. I feel too eager or something if I'm there first.

When I walked into our designated meeting point (it was a chain restaurant), I wasn't sure what to do so I stood in the entrance for a second. I had seen a picture of him via his website (which details his extensive travel), but still wasn't sure I'd know him immedately or anything. I was kind of relying on him to recognize me since I have the same picture I have posted on my Blogger profile posted on my Match profile, and, well, said picture looks like me.

I stood there for a second and noticed this cute guy waving at me. Unfortunately, this doesn't ever happen randomly in restaurants, so I figured this guy was Travel Guy. I went over, sat down next to him and we immedately started chatting as we waited for our table.

The first thing I noticed was how nervous he was, which immedately put me at ease. I remember reading once that when someone is attracted to you or there's chemistry between you and another person you have a tendancy of dropping stuff or becoming really inarticulate all of a sudden. Travel Guy dropped stuff throughout the night, which I thought was really endearing. For some reason, his unease made me relax a lot.

Once we were seated we had a really nice conversation. We talked about Russia, traveling, Peace Corps, etc. He asked a lot of really good questions and there wasn't really any uncomfortable pauses. The one thing that was a little off putting though was the waitress shamelessly flirting with him. I've had this happen once before. In fact, years ago I was with Jason at another chain restaurant in IC and a waitress hit on him in front of me so many times throughout the hour and a half we were there I almost said something to her. She did not get a tip; she did, however, get a really nasty look from me.

At the end of dinner we got up to leave, and then once we were outside he shook my hand and thanked me for a nice time. I told him I had a great time and it was nice meeting him, etc. No plans were made to get together again. I wasn't disappointed as much as I was confused. A hand shake is not a good time, but had he tried anything else I ....don't know what I would've done.

A hand shake though?

Anyway, so that was Saturday. Since then I've e-mailed him and there's been maybe a hint of another date, but I'm not sure (he told me I had a great smile, he had a good time and then made some suggestive comment about a back rub, but no offer for another date). I'd go out with him again. He's an interesting person, and, at the very least, we'd have a great conversation. And then I'd have another male friend (big sigh). I'm going to end up with my own army of male friends, as Brian, JP, Dan, Greg, Noel, and PhD guy can all tell you. Maybe Ellen was right about this one.

Attack of the Alpha Male (or Please Weigh In On What To Do With This One)

So, as many of you know from talking to me or reading this blog, I've posted an on-line profile on Match.com (if you don't know this you haven't been reading my blog very closely because I discussed it at length on the post previous to this one). Much to my relief, I've gotten a few winks and e-mails and, in turn, have sent a few myself. It's been entertaining, to say the least.

Anyway, so just a little while after I posted my profile on-line I received an e-mail from this guy who lives not too far from me asking me about my Peace Corps experience. I looked at the link to his website that he provided; he's been all over the world and seems to be interesting, so I e-mailed him back. What the hell, right?

What ensued has been, uh, pretty interesting. Right off the bat he started in with these pretty sharp, thought provoking questions. In his first e-mail to me, he asked me if my ex were strapped to a lie detector what would be the three things he would say he missed most about me and the three things he missed least about me. I won't go into my answers (unless you really want me to), but needless to say I was kind of impressed by the boldness of his question: this is no, run-of-the-mill "So what kind of music do you like?" sort of inquiry. So, I took the bait and replied.

That was when it got interesting.

By the third round of e-mails he was asking me three reasons why I should go out with him. Now, I thought at first this was just a tad arrogant and considered not responding, but then decided given the playful banter via our e-mails, he probably didn't mean to come across arrogant and was testing the waters to see if I'd go out with him. I responded with the typical bullshit about me being interesting and able to hold my own in a conversation, yada yada yada. Then I shot back with the same question: why should I go out with him? Why is he so special?

However, instead of giving me three good reasons why I should go out with him, he gave me three reasons why I shouldn't. The first reason was because he's unabashedly politically conservative (I called myself 'Very Liberal' on my profile, thus a reason why I wouldn't be wild about going out with him), but that he respects others' views and most of his friends are liberal, as he was in the past. (I wondered what made him go over to the dark side?)

The second reason was because he wasn't interested in getting married or having kids any time soon. This made me chuckle because, as most of you know, for years and years I was adamently opposed to the idea of getting married, let alone having a brood of children. I still have days where I question my ability to stay with one person for the rest of my life, let alone bring another person into the world.

The third reason was because he gave good neck and foot massages and would spoil me for other men (no, seriously, I shit you not, he said that). This is where the whole arrogant part comes, in just in case you hadn't picked up on that.

Needless to say, I wasn't sure what to do after receiving this e-mail. I'm so use to dealing with mild mannered, "soft" (as Brian so accurately put it) people, especially boyfriends, that I waffled about what to do. Do I respond? Do I ignore him? Do I shoot back with a who-the-hell-do-you-think-you-are response?

After weighing my options I decided to take the bait. Again. I e-mailed him back and said that a) I wouldn't hold him being conservative against him as long as he didn't hold me being a feminist and liberal against me, b) I'm not looking to get married or have kids either, so that was a non-issue and c) what exactly was he looking to get out of this? Dinner? Someone to hang out with? Sex? What. I told him I was a little hesitant to go out with him. I also mentioned my neck had been giving me problems lately (I kind of regret saying that last bit, but I couldn't resist).

The last e-mail from him seemed to be a bit tamer. He basically said he just wants to have dinner to see if we get along and that was it. This seemed reasonable, and, I'll admit it, by now I was really curious to see what this globe-trotting Republican was like so I said have dinner with him, but that I wanted to chat with him a bit first.

So, I talked to him last night and he seemed like a pretty nice guy. Not arrogant. Just self confident. We chatted about Russia, my grad school plans, etc., and then we set up plans to have dinner in IC on Saturday. This is all fine and good except....

I'm actually really nervous about meeting this guy. What if he's a total dick and I'm stuck having dinner with him forevvverrrr? What if he's crazy? Worse yet, what if he's really cool (I'll overlook the whole Republican thing for arguement's sake here), and he doesn't think I'm cute or smart enough to date (see PhD guy episode from March)? What if I don't live up to the on-line expectations he has of me based on my pictures or profile? What if I'm a disappointment? What do I do? What do you think?

Matchiness

Yesterday was the last day of the project I've been working on for over a month. I'm so so happy it's over.

Today, I'm going to a whole lotta sittin' around, reading and preparing cover letters to accompany the resumes I will be sending out to part-time non-profits in Milwaukee. I'm not sure what I'm going to say in the aforementioned cover letters to explain that my employment at said non-profit is critical to my admission to the Public Service program. It's kind of weird situation. The woman I've been in contact with at Marquette told me I should some how work in that I might be open to staying in Milwaukee after I finish my degree and, circumstances permitting, at their organization. At first I thought that was a good idea, but then I thought, "I'm applying to $12-$13 per hour part time jobs. Do they honestly expect me to stay on after I finish my degree?" That seems a little unreasonable. I think it's pretty cool that they'd pretty much have me locked into their organization for almost 2 years. I mean, I just want to alert these organizations to my situation and that doing things like looking at their budget and applying for a grant for their organization is part of my employment there. The question is this; how do I word it in a cover letter so that it's clear but not overly verbose? How do I convince them this is a good idea? Just play the I-was-a-Peace-Corps-volunteer-and-you-should-totally-hire-me-based-on-my-good-will card?

Speaking of playing cards, I decided to bite the bullet and post a profile on Match.com, and good Lord, have I gotten a lot of lonely Midwestern men e-mailing me. It's fucking insane! Honestly ( and this is not a judgment on anyone else), I felt kinda weird doing this whole on-line dating thing, like it was a last resort, but it seems to be working out okay. I mean, I need to give it a chance, right?

Anyway, playing the whole Peace Corps card thing on Match is really working out well. I think the men who have e-mailed me are under the mistaken impression that I'm sort of saint or something. I mean, sure, I'm a nice girl, but the do-gooderness aspect of saying I'm a returned volunteer just adds a whole new dimension to it. That, and I think that despite the fact that I've said I'm not interested in someone who's intent on outward appearances, they like my picture. That pisses me off a little, I'll be honest. You should like someone for who they are; being intent on how someone looks is very eighth grade. I want nothing to do with that.

Tornado shamado

I've done basically a whole lotta nothing this weekend and it's been fannnnntastic. I have about 2 days left max on this stupid project and them I'm free to be unemployed for another month. Yippeee!

So, just in case anyone is interested or wondering I was in Iowa City when a series of about 4 tornadoes tore up the lovely town where I attended college. It was really pretty frightening, although some of the idiots I worked with kept making a joke out of it (one of the idiots, unfortunately, I think is a really nice guy who seriously started to irritate me). I mean, 4 million dollars worth of destruction to downtown IC, not to mention several injured people and one death, are fucking hilarious. Right? People are so stupid sometimes.

Anyway, I spent two hours playing hangman on Thursday with my co-workers and realized, that I really need to get out of here and this job before I lose all hope.

Why you should ignore my GRE score and let me into your program, in 400 words or less.

Yes, that's right, my blog has now degenerated into a forum for getting me into grad school.

Below, is an optional essay I wrote for the Master's of Public Health Administration and Policy program at the U of Minnesota (Go Badgers! Let me into your school, please!). I am very very tired right now and I honestly need someone, ANYONE, to read this essay and let me know if it sucks or not. I'm sending my application in tomorrow.

I'm not sure if the first paragraph sounds snotty or not. My Letter of Intent starts out with a conversation I had with a prostitute in Ukraine, so I don't want to come across as a total...freak, I guess. I do, however, truly believe I'm cursed with inability to take standardized tests so I wanted to include that in my essay, but try and not make it sound like an excuse.

Anyway, please, let me know what y'all think. Like I said, I'm sending it tomorrow. Here it is:


Optional Essay

Some people are blessed with the gift of words; they can compose beautiful, melodious pieces of writing that beckon the reader to read further. Others are blessed with ability to understand and speak foreign languages; they can easily remember and assimilate new words and sounds into the repertoire of their vocabulary without much of a problem. Even more people are skilled at taking standardized tests; they stay calm under pressure, think clearly throughout the duration of the test, and understand intuitively how to approach these sorts of exams. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people.
The one concern that the admissions committee may have in regards to my application would be my quantitative score on the Graduate Record Exam. While I completely understand the committee’s concern given some of the math requirements, (particularly the Biostatistics requirement), I must fulfill in order to receive my degree, I feel as though it does not reflect my mathematical abilities, nor does it reflect my ability to process and understand statistical data. In fact, after being accepted into the University of Minnesota’s Public Health Administration and Policy program, I am willing to enroll in any mathematics or statistics class in order to better prepare myself for the quantitative component of the MPH program. Furthermore, I am willing to be admitted on a probationary period if the committee feels that is the only way they can admit me to the MPH program.
I believe there are quite a few strengths to my application that should outweigh my quantitative score on the GRE. Both my written and verbal communication skills are excellent. I’ve proven through both my extensive volunteer experience, both in the U.S. and abroad, that I can work well with people of different ages and backgrounds from all over the world. I have experience and knowledge about the field I hope to work in after graduation. Most importantly though, I’m driven by and passionate about both my potential studies at the University of Minnesota and my future work.
Before I decided to apply to the University of Minnesota’s MPHAP program, I thought very hard about the serious academic, professional and intellectual work I was about to undertake. I understand that graduate level academic work is arduous and, at times, very challenging. If I did not think I was fit intellectually for it, I would not have applied. I am confident that I can meet all the challenges the University of Minnesota’s Masters of Public Health Administration and Policy program sets before me.

Some things you never wanted to know about me...

Ellen posted this on her blog, so now I'm copying her and posting it on mine.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8 am (about 20 minutes ago)
2. Diamonds or pearls? I have neither.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Inside Man (I saw it with PhD guy)
4. What is your favorite TV show? Six Feet Under, Queer as Folk
5. What did you have for breakfast? I haven't had breakfast but I'm sure I'll have yogurt and cereal like always (stop laughing at me, Brian).
6. What is your middle name? Lynn
7. What is your favorite cuisine? This is tough....I like anything organic and vegetarian. I love Greek and spicy Indian food.
8. What foods do you dislike? Squash is a no-go for me. Look at it closely next time--it looks like ear wax. It tastes like it too, I bet.
9. What is your favorite Potato chip? Salt rocks my world, I don't like flavored stuff that much. I love Pringles though.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I'm with Ellen--the Yeah Yeah Yeahs new album is awesome.
11. What kind of car do you drive? My mom's Probe.
12. What is your favorite sandwich?Steve's Rockin' Rueben from the New Pioneer Co-op
13. What characteristics do you despise? Condecension, Shallowness, Someone who thinks they're better than everyone else because they have more money (Unearned Privledge?)
14. Favorite item of clothing? Blue shirt from the Gap
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go? Turkey, China, or India
16. What color is your bathroom? Green and White
17. Favorite brand of clothing? Gap
18. Where would you want to retire to? Scotland
19. Favorite time of day? 10 am
20. Where were you born? Lancaster, Ohio
21. Favorite sport to watch? Swimming and Gymnastics
22. Who do you least expect to send this back? Anyone who's up for the challenge of getting through this list.
24. What type of detergent do you use? Tide
25. Coke or Pepsi? Diet Coke
26. Are you a morning person or night owl? Morning person, all the way
27. What size shoe do you wear? 5 1/2-7
28. Do you have pets? A cat, Janey.
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? I got into Marquette!
30. What did you want to be when you were little? A pilot, a lawyer, a writer
31. Favorite Candy Bar? Reese's Pieces
32A. What is your best childhood memory? Climbing a tree next to our house and just sitting there (I use to really freak out my dad 'cause I would climb up past the second floor of our house in this tree)
32B. What is your worst childhood memory? Middle school
33. Different jobs you have had in your life? Peace Corps volunteer, Barnes and Noble cafe assistant manager, bookseller, Red Lobster waitress, Western Union operator
34. What color shirt are you wearing? Gray
35. Nicknames: I've never had one, but I would love it if someone created one for me!
36. Ever been to Africa? No, but I would LOVE to go.
37. Ever been toilet papered? No.
38. Love someone so much it made you cry? Yup.
39. Been in a car accident? Yes. Several spectacularily bad ones.
40. Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons
41. Favorite day of the week? Friday or Sunday
42. Favorite restaurant? Cheesecake Factory
43. Favorite flower? Daisies
44. Favorite ice cream? anything with Peanut Butter and Chocolate
45. Disney or Warner Brothers? Dude, who cares?
46. Favorite fast food restaurant? I do not eat fast food.... unless I'm in Kyiv and I'm watching other people eat or I need a clean bathroom.
47. What color is your bedroom carpet? Grayish
48. How many times did you fail your driver's test? the mean driving teacher at Wash made me retake the driving test
49. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? Brian (he posted on this blog which sent an e-mail to me)
50. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? A travel agency!
51. What do you do most often when you are bored? Surf the internet,
52. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? Brian, Daniel A (I didn't even know you were reading this, Dan, it's a nice surprise), JP
53. Last person you went to dinner with? my mom
54. Ford or Chevy? Ford
55. What are you listening to right now? The last thing I listed to was ( ) by Sigur Ros
56. How many tattoos do you have? Zilch
57. How many piercings? None, but I should get my ears pierced again
58. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The egg.
59. How many people are you sending this Email to? I'm just going to post it on my blog.
60. When is your birthday? September 24th (I'LL BE THIRTY! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT?!)
61. Favorite color? Periwinkle, Plum and Bordeau
62. Least favorite color? Orange
63. If you could change your name, which would you pick? Hmmm....Gabrielle.
64. Time you finished this e-mail? 8:50

Post more comments, darn you!

Thus far I've had a pretty uneventful weekend. I did absolutely nothing on Saturday, which felt pretty darn good. Today, I had a fantastic work out, polished yet another grad school essay for the University of Minnesota, had coffee with my dad, ordered some clothes from Title 9 and gazed wistfully outside (it was really a bit too cold for me to go and read in the sun).

This next week is going to be insane. If I'm as ambitious as I hope to be I'll spend a great deal of time writing cover letters and finishing up essays. Hopefully I'll actually get some of this stuff done. We'll see though.

Honestly, I don't have that much to say. I'm in the process of looking very carefully at my options for next year and trying to figure out what is the best thing for me academically, financially and professionally. I'm sure I'll work all this out publicly via this blog over the next few weeks but for right now I'm going to simply say this: I have a lot of shit on my mind.

ACCEPTED!

That's right, baby, I've been accepted into Marquette University's Master's of Public Service program. Hot DAMN!

I was notified of my acceptance on Monday. I literally did a little jig talking to the head of the department, who was extremely nice to me and seemed a little confused that I hadn't received official notice of my acceptance yet.

Since then I've talked to the head of the non-profit department (that's my specialization will be within the Public Service program) and received some sort of disheartening news: there is absolutely no scholarship or graduate assistantships I can apply for to help finance my education. None.

That means, basically a combination of four things have to happen:

First, I have to find a non-profit in Milwaukee that will pay me well enough to at least partially cover my expenses. Finding a non-profit is essential--working at one is a requirement of Marquette's PUBS program (see how easily I can throw around acronyms?). This has to happen.

Second, I need to see if my very wealthy and extremely stingy grandma will loan me several thousands of dollars so that I won't have to sell my soul to the federal government in order to cover my education. I don't know if she'll cover this (yup, she might actually turn me down). I would much rather borrow money from her than the government because she won't charge me interest or late fees.

Third, I'll need to apply for federal financial aid. Do I need to explain this?

Fourth, I will need to start selling organs.

So, there you have it folks. I've been accepted but I'm not sure I can go. I'm still putting in an application to U of Minnesota, which has WAY more scholarship/fellowship and graduate assistantship opportunities than Marquette, but is actually kind of expensive for out-of-staters. In fact, I'm half Minnesotan anyway, so I think I should get in-state tuition by default.

ISN'T IT COOL I GOT ACCEPTED, THOUGH? SOMEBODY WANTS ME!!!

Madness

Wow, this has been by far the most eventful week in a long long time. In fact, I'm not sure where I should start with my update.

I guess I should start with my ridiculously complicated efforts to get into graduate school. Okay, so on Wednesday I got a call from Carole, the woman I spent a great deal of time talking to about the Trinity Fellowship and who, eventually was the one to call me and tell me I just wasn't cool enough to be chosen as a Trinity Fellow. So, anyway, Carole informed me that I might have convinced those fools to Marquette to let me in to the Public Service program there! I say "might" because I ultimately, need to get officially admitted by the woman in charge of the Public Service program at the graduate college--she's the one who has the final say about who's admitted and who's not (Carole, is just in charge of the fellowship I almost received, not the Public Service grad program). However, the guy in charge of the non-profit specialization I'd be focusing on within the Public Service program says there's definately a place for me in the program. See, most of the folks in the Public Service program with a specialization in the non-profit sector, are Trinity Fellows, which means only a few spots are left over for non-Trinity Fellows.

The catch is in order to be admitted into the program I'd need to find a part-time job at a non-profit in Milwaukee in order to fulfill the internship requirement which is required for graduation from the Public Service program. This would mean I would need to find a non-profit that will take me on for roughly 18 hours per week during the school year and 40 during the summer. I'm not sure if Marquette will help me set that up. I would think that they would, but I'm not sure and neither was Carole. Honestly, the idea of trying to find an internship on my own is a little intimidating and kinda thrilling at the same time.

Carole kept reiterating to me that nothing was official, that I needed to hear from the woman in charge of the Public Service program before anything further happened with my application, blah blah blah. When I pointed out that I've e-mailed this woman twice and called once in the last 2 weeks, Carole said by not hearing from this woman in the Public Service program that I was, ostensibly being told I "would just have to wait" (upon hearing this, I felt my patience literally almost snap). This did not please me so much, but I didn't really say much other than to point out in the absolute nicest way possible that it's almost April, and I need an answer. Soon. I'm not sure how this could get more confusing.

So, um, I'm not sure if I should be happy I might have gotten in, displeased that I'll just have to wait to hear for sure, or worried about finding a non-profit to work at. I'm sure it will work itself out, but I'm a little anxious.


The next crazy thing that happened was I found out my dad is coming home from China for three to five months on Tuesday. I was almost speechless when my mom told me. I'm not sure what's going on, but I think he may just need a rest from the stress of living in a country where he can say little more than, "I'd like a pack of Marlboros, please," along with being totally homesick. It's been almost two years since he's been home. I'm a little concerned about what kind of emotional state he's going to be in when I get home. That, and I'm afraid he's going to expect me to spend all my time with him, and then, of course, lay one of those infamous guilt trips on me when I don't, in fact, do that. Why can't I have a good relationship with BOTH of my parents, and not just one?

The last thing that happened was PhD guy basically told me he wasn't interested in me as more than a friend, which kinda sucks. I tried to get an explanation out of him as to why, but wasn't able to discern much other than he's really really busy (crazy ridiculously busy, busier than any one else I know busy) and he didn't feel "that way" about me. I'm not sure how you can determine that after going out on one date and lunch with someone, but, um, okay. I mean, we have these long fabulous conversations and I make him laugh and we have tons in common, but, well, okay. He must not think I'm cute. That has to be it. What else could it be? We're going out for dinner and a movie as friends today though, so at least he's being cool and mature about it.


So, that's been my week thus far. I've also been really really sick (I have a terrible head cold that I'm having a hard time kicking) and haven't been sleeping or eating very much at all. I miss you all very very much and if I haven't heard from you in a while please please e-mail or call me. I'm going to try to keep this blog updated this week. Keep your fingers and toes crossed about Marquette!!!