Shrinking Head

Friday went about as I expected: it was emotionally exhausting and not something I'm looking forward to doing again. Anne asked me after the appointment if I felt better, to which I responded that no, I didn't feel even a little better. In fact, in the course of talking with Dr. S I burst into tears three times. The first time was when, in the course of talking about the accident, I described the feeling I had that I was going to die (this was right as I was about to hit the house). The second and third times had to do with how frustrated and angry I've been since then. Fun, fun times.

The really fascinating part of the whole day came when Dr. S gave me a battery of tests. First I was asked to draw a picture of a complete person, which I did a pretty lousy job on. Then I had to complete a worksheet in which I completed sentences about how I felt. Even though I was told not to over-analyze the questions, I couldn't help but laugh at the obviousness of some of them, and sort of scratch my head at others. For example, "My greatest fear..." is pretty obviously measuring what you're afraid of (duh). "Dancing....", though, honestly, I'm a little unsure what they're trying to get at.

The dancing theme came up again when I took the MMPS (Minnesota, something, something, something), an extremely long test in which you have to answer whether or not a particular statement is true or false as it relates to you or how you feel. It's 567 questions! Isn't that crazy? Some of the questions were clearly geared towards people who needed immediate hospitalization. Amongst my favorite was "I see people and animals that other people don't see," and, "I like to hurt people for no particuliar reason." Then there were questions like, "I would like to be a building constructer," which, I'll be honest, I'm unclear as to what that indicates about a person. I do know I've never had a desire to be build anything other than a career, so I had to answer false on that one.