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A few weeks

2009-05-24T13:47:00.000-07:00

It's been a long few weeks. Things have been going okay, don't get me wrong....but I seem to be alternating between being frustrated with my job and the direction I think it is (or, rather, isn't going in) and being fairly content. As a result, I've been probably a little testier than usual some days and, regrettably, a little short with Scientist.

I've also reached the point where I'm ready to move, I think. I like the town we live in well enough, but it's too small and during the winter especially I just get insane stir craziness. That, and honestly, I don't see a lot happening with my career here: cronyism and an permanently f-ed up state employment system have ensured that. My job isn't bad, I just don't see it going where I want it to for awhile.

The one nice, fairly recent, development I've mentioned a few times is some of the hobbies we've really gotten into over the past few months. Scientist has been brewing beer, as well as making yogurt and kefir. I've been baking, cooking, knitting....We're a regular Little House on the Prairie. It's kind of funny--I never EVER pictured myself as being domestic, but I love it. I like doing things that result in a product I can enjoy or spending time in nature. As cheesy as this sounds, I feel like it makes my heart swell. I feel content. Isn't that what life supposed to be about?

Spring

2009-04-28T14:46:00.000-07:00

Spring always seems really insane: I think the stir-craziness everyone's been feeling all winter finally peaks in late March/early April, and, if we're lucky, the weather turns nice and people are able to break their solitariness, go outside and run around. Everyone seems to drive faster and smile more when the weather first turns nice.

Work at my newish job has been good, but super busy. It's not a perfect job--it pays so !*&^% little that I feel like I'm being taken advantage of--but I like my boss(es) generally and I like doing something in my field. If only it paid more and was a little less research-y and a little more...public-y. Alas, it is not my perfect job. I honestly doubt the perfect job exists in this state.

Actually, there's been a lot I've been thinking about in relation to both my job, the direction of Public Health and health care and where I think I fit into this giant fucking mess we've created/was created for us....but more on that at a different time, when I'm in a more reflective mood.

On a completely unrelated note, Sunday marked the third anniversary of my first date with Scientist. Who would've thought three years later we'd be married and living so far away from the town in which we met?

New Yawk and Other Trips Further East

2009-04-18T05:44:00.000-07:00

Over Easter weekend Scientist and I made the short trip up to New York to see the city. I have been to a fair number of places, but somehow New York had been one of the places in the US I'd failed to see.

So, despite the face that we had just made a very expensive purchase, which we've had very little time to enjoy due both this trip and the work, we saddled up and headed out.

We saw pretty much everything we could have hoped to see in 3 days: the Brooklyn Bridge (on an extremely windy day no less), Wall Street, Soho (including PURL, where I bought some great yarn for my first sweater), Times Square, improv at The Upright Citizens Brigade and Central Park. I was really impressed at a) how clean the city was compared to other larger cities I've been to and b) how incredibly nice everyone was to us.

One of the highlights of our trip was our fabulous and elegant dinner at Gramercy Tavern. In addition to the great atmosphere and food (I had foie gras for the first time ever), the people watching was top notch. In fact, I heard the couple next to us get into a fight, which ended in the woman making a dramatic exit to the bathroom as her cheese course arrived. I felt bad for eavesdropping, but the temptation was just too great for me NOT to listen.

NYC was awesome--better than I expected, actually--and exhausting. I realize we didn't even come close to seeing all the things I wanted to see, so hopefully we'll be able to fit in another couple trips before we leave Morgantown.

In other travel related news, Scientist and I bought tickets this week to go see my dad in China next September. He'll be getting married, and while there won't be a formal ceremony, we decided this is a good time to go see him and meet his new wife. I'm excited, although the prospect of a non-stop 14 hour flight fills me with dread. Nevertheless, this will be an epic trip (we'll be gone 16 days) and I'm excited about seeing a country and experiencing a culture far removed from any of the other places/cultures I've ever seen.

Keen on Yarn

2009-04-04T06:01:00.001-07:00

As any and all of you who are friends with me on Facebook know, in the last several months I've become obsessed with knitting. Maybe "obsessed" is strong word; let's say I've become keen on on it.

I don't know what it is about knitting I love so much. Maybe it's the idea that I've finally found something I can do that doesn't fill me with a sense of inadequacy like writing does (although nothing is more fulfilling than a good writing day), or studying Russian. Or perhaps it's ying/yang nature of knitting: one needs to be both methodical (pay attention to patterns, plan for how much yarn you need, etc) and creative at the same time (there are endless number of wacky things you can find patterns for on the internet). I suspect that what I love most about knitting is the yarn, though.

This is actually my second shot at knitting. I first attempted it when we moved here; I had no friends, we lived in a kinda shitty apartment, and I felt like I was watching way too much TV. That attempt was short lived--I lost interest and gave it up after a few weeks.

This time though, I think I'm going to stick with it. I started out making a blanket for Sophie, and then moved on to bookmarks (I sent my first one to my dad in China). Now, I'm making washcloths for my mother's new house and a friend's birthday, as well as a gorgeous checkerboard pattern type scarf for Scientist. People LOVE knitted gifts, and non-knitters and wanna be knitters seem to be uber appreciative of the time and effort it takes to make them a knitted gift.

When we head to New York at the end of the week I'm going to make my biggest purchase yet at Purl, a knitter's mecca located in Soho. I'm thinking it's time to make myself something, and that something will most likely be hoodie in the loveliest, richest shade of expensive purple yarn I can find.

Picking Up

2009-03-08T06:51:00.000-07:00

After two weeks of sorta twiddling my thumbs, it looks as though I'm about to get very busy at work. Sitting around reading peer reviewed articles on every possible policy and intervention dealing with issue under study in my office is fine and all, but there comes a point where one gets bored. Really, really bored.

But that is no more! Er, won't be soon. I'm working on three different projects for two different teams of researchers, two of which are about to take off. It looks like, in addition to reading, I'll be doing some field work (doesn't that very Scully-like?) involving surveying college students, as well as going to rural health clinics in the area. The site visits should be really interesting; WV has some pretty backwater places, especially in the southern part of the state, and seeing that up close should be educational. And scary.

I have high expectations for this job. I hope I'm not disappointed.

On a completely unrelated note, it warms my heart that I'm not 'speaking' to a totally empty room when I post on this blog: thanks for adding yourself as a 'follower' DHP.

J.O.B.

2009-02-26T16:05:00.000-08:00

So, for those of you not on Facebook (and thus not privy to my every movement through status updates), or who haven't yet received a personal e-mail from me, I started my new job on Monday.

Things are good so far: everyone has been extremely nice, I work down the hall from everyone I worked with as a graduate student (so I know practically everyone on our floor already), and I haven't had much of a problem adjusting to an 8 hour work day....Okay that's not entirely true. I work an 9 hour work day because at around 11:30 every day I go work out with Scientist, making my day longer as I have to stay later for taking a long lunch. This makes my day seem really long by the time 5 rolls around, but I'm glad I can work out during the day--it makes me more productive in the afternoon, when I have a serious energy slump.

Anyway. I don't really have an idea of what my work load is really going to be like yet; my boss and other people I work with are actually out of town this week, and won't be back until Monday. I was told that come Monday things are really going to start 'movin'. Whatever that means. I'm okay with that though, I would much rather have stuff to do than be super bored, as I was during my graduate assistantship.

What I did with those two years

2009-02-16T06:07:00.000-08:00

Thursday, I submitted my background check to my future place of employment. If you've ever done this (which, I actually have--I was fingerprinted and thoroughly checked out before I left for Ukraine), it's a little unnerving, no matter how clean one's record is. I didn't even have to submit that much information: just my social security information and the addresses of every place I've lived in the last 7 years. I hate this sort of thing not because I have anything to hide, but because it is SO annoying. Especially if you've, say, spent a significant portion of time overseas and have to explain to someone why it would a giant pain in everyone's ass for you to write down every address you've lived at ( a) they're in Russian, and b) I don't remember all of them and c) if you want a really good picture of what type of citizen I was thru 2005, its easier to check with the Peace Corps office in Kyiv than with the local police department in a small town in southern Ukraine). It always sounds like you're lying or hiding something.

This is actually something I run into frequently: having to explain my Peace Corps service and all it entailed to people who haven't spent any/ a lot of time in a developing country. I had a less than idyllic Peace Corps service: I started out my service with a giant, painful cyst in my ear which I had to have removed (after 2 operations I'm finally okay); I had a very difficult time with the administration at my school; I moved a bunch because of a bad landlord or two; I had put up with some seriously childish, asshole-like behavior on the part of other volunteers(think re-living high school in a bubble); and I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder 3 months after arriving home (I didn't tell anyone about the anxiety while I was in Ukraine for fear of being sent home). It sucked. Not everything, and not the whole two years, but a significant proportion of it.

So, when I try to explain why I moved four times in a year, or why I don't consider Peace Corps the best time of life, or why I don't even bring it up right away when I meet people, it's hard. I don't want to scare anyone off from trying the Peace Corps, or, God forbid, traveling/living overseas, but I don't want to lie and say everything was sunshine and roses. It wasn't: but not for the reasons that most people think (no heat, intermittent water, frigid weather, etc.). How do you explain that? I don't play the "poor me" violin and ask for pity. I just want to put the bad parts behind me completely and forget about it sometimes, which is difficult when I have to constantly talk about the circumstances surrounding my service whether in an interview or filling out a background check.

JOB!

2009-02-12T05:57:00.000-08:00

I done gotten myself offered a job! Okay, I actually received a "contingency offer"; meaning, my offer is contingent on me passing a background check. God willing, I will pass said background check and then my ass will be employed!! YAY!

I will be working on a tobacco cessation project. Actually, there are two projects I'll be working on: one is smokeless tobacco intervention and the other is a smoking cessation project for pregnant smokers.

I'm super excited. It could definitely pay better, but its in my field and my future boss is a master grant writer, who, hopefully, will impart some wisdom and experience on me and teach me how to write an awesome grant. Researchers love people who can write grants and get them money. Love. It.

Cranky

2009-02-09T06:08:00.000-08:00

Reasons why I'm pissed:

1. The economic stimulus package: I'm unemployed and, if/when the SP is passed, I will be (hopefully) working in a field that benefits enormously from it and is STILL PISSES ME OFF. What a huge waste of money.

2. Unemployment: I supposedly live in the city with the lowest unemployment rate in the country....So, where's my job, biatch?

3. Having to avoid the woman at Starbucks who, for no reason, scolded me for reading 'A Year of Living Biblically'. I see her all the time now, and, because I'm a nice person who was raised with manners (unlike SOME people), I feel like I need to say hello and exchange niceties with her.

4. My former adviser.

5. My mom hurt her back.

6. I'm about to be offered a job that pays crap. Seriously. Like, imagine what you might think would be normal for someone in my field with a Master's degree and experience, and then lower it. Lower. Lower. That's about right.

7. I'm ambivalent about children.

8. It's February.

9. Next month will be March.

10. I LIVE IN WEST VIRGINIA FOR GOD'S SAKES.

Fingers Crossed

2009-02-05T05:50:00.000-08:00

I had a second interview on Tuesday for one of the jobs I applied for a few weeks ago. It went really really well. I gave some great answers about why I was interested in the job and why I got into Public Health, and the women I was interviewing with (the boss women) seemed to take quite a liking to me. I kept emphasizing that I wanted to become more familiar with the grant writing process, as look at how Public Health policy can work to improve the overall well being of communities in need, which they seemed to really like (who doesn't want an employee to VOLUNTEER to help write a grant that will get you federal money?). Towards the end of the interview they really started talking in concrete terms: what I would be doing, as well as the work environment, etc. A good sign, for sure.

When I e-mailed both of them yesterday I was told they both enjoyed meeting me, enjoyed my enthusiasm and I would be "hearing from them very soon". Now, either they are playing a cruel mean joke on me and I won't hear anything, or I've got it. The second interview seemed almost like a formality; the first interview was really the "vetting process" and I managed to somehow impress the first set of women who interviewed me the first time.

The only thing that isn't so great about this job is the pay. It sucks. I mean, really. I don't think I'm unreasonable in my salary expectations: I have a Master's degree and 3 years of public health experience (1 1/2 of which was overseas). But this pays nothing....The one up-side to all this is, the review process through the university is frequent and the pay increase is "significant" (or so I was told by another employee). Still, the starting pay is about $10 K less than I envisioned. All jobs here pretty much pay poorly, and I'm getting a job in the recession, so I'm trying to be positive about it. A job, is ultimately a job, and I can always keep looking.

Good things

2009-01-26T06:37:00.000-08:00

Good news! I got a call for a second interview on Friday for the position I interviewed for a couple weeks ago. Unfortunately, I have to wait a week; my interview isn't until a week from Tuesday, but I'm feeling good about this. I'm trying not to get too excited, I mean, there is a possibility that I won't get this position. I still want to apply for another position that actually pays more, has more responsibility and will be a better "resume builder", but given the state of the economy and the fact I live in an area that is not so flush with great jobs I may just end up taking what I can get, you know? I hate settling, but I may have to do that and keep my eyes open. If I can get this position and get some experience with grant writing I will be in very good shape for the next place we move.

I really need to find a job--I'm starting to run out of things to do. I hate saying that because inevitably someone always says [insert stupid voice here], "I wish I was unemployed....I'd love to just lay around and stuff..." The problem is, rarely does unemployment accompany a windfall of money and/or the promise of a job (and therefore more money)in the immediate future. Don't get me wrong: Scientist has a good job and we're not hurting, but I hate feeling like I'm not contributing something financially. Plus, I'm bored. How much can one knit, read, cook, watch bad TV and play with one's cat?

A Glimmer of Hope

2009-01-19T05:58:00.000-08:00

Not two days after I last posted about my frustration with not finding a job, I received a call asking me to come in for an interview. This position is with some people I know of, but don't actually "know" per se (as in, I'm sure the boss would recognize me right off the bat, but not necessarily know my name). I was encouraged to say the least.

The interview went well, but I could not get a read from the people conducting it. I hate that--I pride myself on picking up non-verbal cues and trusting my instinct (that comes from traveling: you learn to trust your 'gut' about people and places so not as to run into trouble), but I couldn't tell how well I was doing with either of them.

I must have done fairly well, because, when I emailed one of the interviewers later they said I would be hearing from them about a second interview (they'll be interviewing the top 3 candidates) by the end of this week. Now, when I read the email to Scientist he said it definitely sounded like I would be hearing from them. However, given my past experience I was a little wary of reading into anything.

The problem is I've applied to 3 other jobs, two of which I KNOW a) pay better, b) have more responsibility and c) will look way better on a resume. I've already gone in and talked to one person about one of the jobs (which should be posted on the HR website today), and have a feeling that I'll get an interview (we just met to talk about the position because someone in my department recommended me for the position that's about to go open). The thing is, getting just to the interview part might take forever--the job has to be posted two weeks, then they have to sort through the applications, do interviews, do second interviews....I'm thinking, realistically, IF I got through the second set of interviews it would be late February. The employers of the job I just interviewed for will already have long ago made up their mind. So, I don't know...

I guess this is all a moot point--I don't know for 100% I'll get a second interview or that I'll even get this job. And the other job--who knows? I hate being in limbo, but what am I gonna do?

Unemployment

2009-01-12T07:24:00.000-08:00

So, like I've said before, I just graduated almost exactly a month ago and thus far I've had little luck in the job department. It's frustrating, for obvious reasons, but also because I actually have a good amount of solid experience in my field both here and abroad (not to mention a lot of other work experience in teaching etc.)

Right before Thanksgiving I had an interview which went super well. The interviewer (who, I'm pretty darn sure actually made the hiring decisions) said to me, "Well, once you graduate, if you're interested in this position, we can see what we can do", and then, not 5 minutes later the other person sitting in on the interview told me (after they showed me around and introduced me to everyone who worked in the department) "We will definitely be giving you a call." I found out two weeks later they offered the position to someone else.

Now, I'm not going to take this personally (really), but why ya gotta go building my hopes up like that when you don't know for sure you can hire me?! "We'll definitely be giving you a call"?! That's a total tease.

I'm not yet at the position where I'm completely frustrated. I realize I just graduated. I realize we just got past the holiday season and no one hires right before the beginning of the year. I understand this is a terrible economy to be looking for a job in, but.....I have a feeling there are other reasons why I'm not getting calls back and they have nothing to do with me, my education, or experience. And I'm not going into them on a public forum like this. Not yet at least...

A fresh start

2009-01-09T06:09:00.000-08:00

A lot of people think making resolutions is lame. I love them: resolutions make feel a renewed sense of hope, which is generally the kick in the ass I need given that they're made during one of the most miserable times of year. I also have a thing with lists (I get this from my mother, for sure), which also love because I have an overwhelming need to organize, organize, organize.

So, without further ado, here are (some of) my resolutions for 2009.

1. Work up to getting 200 minutes of cardio per week and lifting weights (for both upper and lower body) twice per week.

2. Start studying my Russian again (after a 3 year break!).

3. Stick with my knitting—including starting and finishing an “advanced” knitting project.

4. Be better about getting cards out to people for birthdays and Christmas.

5. Keep my blog at least reasonably updated. (Ahem)

6. Find a job!

Changes

2009-01-07T06:48:00.000-08:00

I know in the past, oh, year and a half or so I've been really bad about posting updates on this blog. And, I know that I always seem to offer up some lame excuse about why I haven't been posting, but this time, I have a really good reason for not updating this blog for four months....For real.

I graduated last month with my Master's degree in Public Health. The last half of the semester was very trying to say the least; I was having problems with my program that I won't get into here, plus I was writing my 60 page thesis type paper thingy.

Right now I'm looking for a job. Needless to say, with the economy the way it is I'm pretty sure it's going to be awhile until I actually find something in my field that doesn't pay a few dollars a week. In the mean time, I'm going to try to entertain myself with various projects: painting all three of our bathrooms, going to a local Russian conversation circle, reading, and knitting (my newest love). And updating this blog--I'm going to make this a priority (I love writing and I have friends all over the country so why not make this a regular way of keeping in contact with people?). I'm even thinking of making some major changes. I need to mull this all over first, however.

Married!

2008-09-07T06:50:00.000-07:00

The wedding went perfectly. The weather was gorgeous (80 degrees with blue skies and no humidity), everyone showed up on-time, fully awake, dressed and in good spirits. We had had some problems in the previous days with getting suits pressed at the last minute, arranging ties and vests, so I was a little on edge about something really stupid going wrong.

In fact, something really stupid did go wrong: the day before Scientist was about to head out to Iowa for wedding he burst a blood vessel in his left hand while lifting weights. Of course, his hand turned red and swelled up all cartoon-like. The one finger he needed--his ring finger--remained too swollen for me to fit his ring on it during the ceremony, so I had to make due with sliding the ring down to his first knuckle. I tried not interpret this as a bad omen, but rather some messed up coincidence. I guess this will be one of those funny stories we'll tell our child/children (along with the story about how mommy and daddy slept on the floor of a shitty apartment for 10 weeks while the government messed around with paperwork, delaying the delivery of their furniture--HA!).

It's funny, I got increasingly more and more nervous as the morning wore on (we got married at noon), but once my father and I were standing behind the doors of the entrance of the church about to go in, I suddenly relaxed. During the ceremony, as far as I was concerned, the only people there were Scientist, myself and the minister (who sweated profusely throughout the ceremony).

There were two times I had to hold myself back from crying--once while Scientist was reading his vows to me, and then while I was reading my vows to him. I had been really nervous about sounding like a sappy idiot, but I ended up creating vows that were both simple and meaningful without being ridiculously corny.

Afterward, we took pictures (which I'll post as soon as I have, but, from what I've seen, are absolutely gorgeous), and then had a small luncheon. Ice Cream Man gave a nice toast in which he ripped on Scientist and, my honor attendant, Brian, gave his own toast to love in Russian. They were both beautiful (thank you Brian for not telling terribly embarrassing stories about me involving ridiculous amounts of vodka).

When we were originally planning the wedding, Scientist and I decided we wanted to combine both the formal and informal. Obviously the ceremony and luncheon were the 'formal' part. The pig roast we had later on that evening, while maybe a little nontraditional, was an opportunity to really talk spend time with our guests. One thing we kept hearing over and over again while we were planning was "You'll be so busy you won't have an opportunity to talk to anyone," which totally would have been true, had we not had the pig roast. I feel like I really got to spend time with my dad, who I only see once a year (he lives in rural China), and some friends I rarely see because we live so far from Iowa City.

In a week we will leave on our honeymoon to Italy and Croatia. If you're jealous that's okay--I would be too, if I weren't so ridiculously happy to be going on this trip myself. I promise to post pictures of both the wedding and the honeymoon once we get back.

A Simple Wedding

2008-07-30T05:53:00.000-07:00

After Scientist first asked me to marry him last year, I promised myself that I would not a) have a complicated wedding and b) become one of those women (or one half of one of those couples) who expects people to spend a lot of money/time/energy on my wedding. So far, I've been successful at avoiding both of the things I feared.....or so I thought.

Having a low maintenance wedding and being a low maintenance bride is extremely difficult. Scientist and I are having only one person each in our wedding parties--both of whom, incidentally, are men (my friend Brian, who put up with me throughout my rough Peace Corps service, is my 'honor attendant', and Scientist's childhood friend, Ice Cream Man, is his best man). We're getting married at noon, not in the late afternoon or evening. We're not having a band or giving our guests little mementos of our wedding which would eventually end up gathering dust in someone's cupboard for the next several decades.

And yet, I am overwhelmed with crap to do for the next 2 1/2 weeks I'm back in Iowa. I have to meet with hair stylists because my stylist backed out on me after I made an appointment right after we got engaged (very professional--she's not getting my business or my mom's business any more, no matter how long we've known her), make-up people, the florist, the caterers.....I'm astounded at how complicated my 50 person wedding has gotten. I shiver to think at what would have happened had I not bitten the bullet and hired a wedding planner to help me plan all this. Grad school, work and planning an out-of-town wedding would have driven me crazy and we would have eloped, I'm sure of it. In fact, eloping doesn't sound like to bad of an idea right now.

Reservations '08

2008-07-23T06:32:00.001-07:00

I've been debating whether or not to write about some of my feelings regarding the campaign since my gal Hilary (as I like to call her) dropped out of the presidential race. See, I was, and still am, one of those pesky, middle class, educated white women who just isn't sure whether or not she should vote for Obama. I used to be ashamed to admit that, but after a couple of different conversations I had recently I realize I'm really not alone in my feelings, and I'm now willing to "out" myself as a fence sitter.

Had you told me back in January that I would feel torn between voting for Obama, voting for McCain, or not voting at all I would have laughed. However, after some of the things that were said in May and June regarding Hillary and her bid for the presidency by my fellow Obama supporting, Democratic comrades, I'm having a hard time throwing my support fully behind Mr. Obama. The sad thing is, only 50% of the reason why I'm not fully behind the Democratic nominee is for political reasons--the other 50% is because I strongly dislike a small but very vocal group of his supporters.

Here's a great quote from a Salon article that pretty much sums up how I feel about the campaign, and especially how I feel about the aforementioned group of Obama's supporters.

"Clinton behaved with the kind of naked drive and aggression and mercilessness we revere in, for example, football greats, wrestling stars and military heroes. Her political ambition and ruthlessness are qualities native to anyone putting themselves up for the job of running the country. That includes Barack Obama, who is an inspiring leader I fervently hope will be our next president, but who is not, despite what some of his supporters seem to believe, built entirely of altruism and hope and, I don't know, puppies. "

I know that once November comes I will, truth be told, vote for Obama. I have serious problems with the whole Obama-as-Messiah picture that the New York Times, MSNBC, and a small faction of his followers have created, but I can't not vote for him on the obnoxiousness of his media image alone. I reservations about his readiness to take on his position, as well as his evasiveness regarding a whole host of issues (health care and the war specifically), but I am too much in disagreement with McCain on issues like health care and abortion to vote for him. That and I'm still unwilling to give up on my party, no matter how much I dislike the arrogance of our canidate and his fanatical followers.

2008-06-08T05:00:00.000-07:00

I've been debating whether or not to write about some of my feelings regarding the campaign since my gal Hilary (as I like to call her) dropped out of the presidential race. See, I was, and still am, one of those pesky, middle class, educated white women who just isn't sure whether or not she should vote for Obama. I used to be ashamed to admit that, but after a couple of different conversations I had last week I realize I'm really not alone in my feelings, I'm willing to "out" myself as a fence sitter.

Had you told me back in January that I would feel torn between voting for Obama, voting for McCain, or not voting at all I would have laughed heartily. But honestly, after some of the things that were said last month regarding Hillary and her candidacy by my fellow Obama supporting Democratic comrades, I'm having a hard time throwing my support fully behind Mr. Obama. The sad thing is, only 50% of the reason why I'm not fully behind the Democratic nominee is for policy reasons--the other 50% is because I strongly dislike a small but very vocal group of his supporters.

Here's a great quote from a Salon article that pretty much sums up how I feel about the campaign, and especially how I feel about the aforementioned group of Obama's supporters.

"Clinton behaved with the kind of naked drive and aggression and mercilessness we revere in, for example, football greats, wrestling stars and military heroes. Her political ambition and ruthlessness are qualities native to anyone putting themselves up for the job of running the country. That includes Barack Obama, who is an inspiring leader I fervently hope will be our next president, but who is not, despite what some of his supporters seem to believe, built entirely of altruism and hope and, I don't know, puppies. One of the great things about our history of ambivalence and resentment toward Clinton was the almost sweet relief we could take in knowing from the start that her raw will to power was going to grate on and enrage us."

I know that once November comes I will, truth be told, vote for Obama. I have serious problems with the whole Obama-as-Messiah picture that the New York Times, MSNBC, and a small faction of his followers have created, but I can't not vote for him on the obnoxiousness of his media image alone. I reservations about his readiness to take on his position, as well as his evasiveness regarding a whole host of issues (health care and the war specifically), but I am too much in disagreement with McCain on issues like health care and abortion to vote for him.

Score One for the Good Guys

2008-06-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

It's nice to see justice served.

The West Virginia Way

2008-05-17T05:20:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months I've had a quite a few things I've wanted to write about: being a bride, buying a house for the first time, academia, the election. But recently there's been some things going down here in Morgantown, and at WVU in particular, that have distracted both me and everyone else in Morgantown, becoming all that anyone can talk about.

Last fall, the Pittsburgh Gazette wrote a piece on a former WVU grad, Heather Bresch, after one of their staff writers discovered that Bresch, an employee at Mylan Pharmaceuticals, had lied about a degree she had earned from WVU. Bresch was set to be promoted to high ranking executive position in the company, and in the course of investigating her credentials, the Pittsburgh paper uncovered that not have the academic credentials she claimed to have. Apparently, when the Pittsburgh paper called WVU to check to see if she had earned the aforementioned undergraduate and MBA degrees, they discovered that while she had begun her MBA degree here and completed roughly a year's worth of classes, she never actually completed the program.

Now, that wouldn't be such a huge deal--people have lied on applications about degrees and skills and jobs they've had since applications were invented--except just a few days after the Pittsburgh paper discovered that Heather Bresch didn't have the MBA degree she claimed to have she was suddenly, magically, retroactively awarded the very degree in question from WVU--nine years after she claimed to have graduated.

Who is Heather Bresch and why does she matter? Why, she's the governor's daughter! She got her degree the old fashioned way--she called Mike Garrison, the president of WVU and made sure that she was awarded that MBA degree she always wanted but only completed 26 academic hours out of 48 academic hours for.

Bresch and Garrison go way back. They were both in the same "graduating class" at WVU (she was in the School of Business and he was at the WVU law school), plus Bresch employed Garrison as a lobbyist when she worked for a firm in Charleston. When Garrison was appointed president of WVU by the Board of Governors it was widely (and correctly) believed that Garrison was just another crony of Bresch's father, Joe Manchin III.

Like Manchin, Garrison has conviently surrounded himself with people who will either protect him or take the fall. The Board of Governors, who appointed Garrison, are also the only the people who can "fire" him. Not surprisingly, the BOG is made up of people who Garrison knows from his past--one of them he practiced law with years ago. Garrison, like a true blue West Virginia crony, has managed to appoint people who have helped him along the to positions of power within in WVU: the dean of the medical school (for which the Public Health department is a part of) was someone Garrison had known for years and replaced a man who was forced out by Garrison after heading the department for 15+ years.

Garrison claims to have no knowledge or involvement in Bresch's mysterious diploma, as does her father, Governor Manchin. However, Garrison admits that he did receive a phone call from Bresch who said she "sincerely believed" she had earned her MBA. Instead of handling this matter himself, however, Garrison said he handed it off to Provost Lang and the Dean of the College of Business, Gerald Sears, who months later, as this whole thing unfolded, suddenly resigned (but who still teach at WVU and will rake in over $200,000 per year).

Garrison thinks, apparently, that he can pt his head down, ignore the outrage that has infected the campus and ride this out until the next year. Fortunately though, the faculty, staff and some of the students have signed petitions and held two seperate meetings in which they expressed their own sincere desire that Garrison get his ass kicked out of office. At the most recent meeting, over 600 faculty and staff met and voted 565-39 in favor of asking Garrison to resign.

This type of scandal doesn't just affect the president's office, BOG and the governor; it tarnishes the reputation of the school, chases off current and potential faculty and students and creates a backlash in which everyone walks around looking over their shoulders wondering if someone is going to accuse them of something. Furthermore, it makes people like myself who have worked their asses off towards their degree look bad. As another graduate student in Public Health told me: "I think about all the hours I spent working towards my degree, writing my thesis, doing my homework, going to class....time I spent away from my family...and someone like Heather Bresch can just make a phone call and suddenly be awarded an MBA."

The Bresch/Garrison scandal also perpetuates the image of West Virginia and West Virgininans as clanish and backwards, which is terribly unfortunate because of it overshadows all the good things about West Virginia and Morgantown in particuliar. People here are incredibly nice. The landscape is breathtaking. I know without a doubt I've received a far better education here than I would've at U of Iowa due to the well trained (and sometimes unbelievably demanding) . But how anyone know that? Your average person associates West Virginia with Hatfields and McCoy type feuds, coal mining and corruption, all of which are certainly a part of West Virginia history but really betray some of the lovely things about WV. Scandals like this also distract attention away from problems that really affect West Virginians like ridiculously high rates of obesity, smoking, cardiovascular disease, diabetes and poverty.

But don't take my word for it: read about a recent grad's opinion of what he thinks the university's presidents next move should be. Football fans should also take a look at this article with Rich Rodriguez, whose sudden departure seems a lot clearer given what we know about how Garrison operates.

Resurfacing

2008-04-29T17:27:00.001-07:00

Believe it or not, not everything here in Morgantown is sunshine and rainbows.

It's been a rough semester to say the least. The amount of reading and writing I've done over the past few months has far surpassed any other semester. In fact, I doubt if I've done this much writing since I started graduate school. Don't get me wrong--I love to write, but being forced to constantly produce something in the form of a brilliant and lengthy paper on a regular basis gets old.

However, I have learned a few things over the course of the last few months. Here's a list:

1. Sometimes you don't get the grade you deserve. Even if you put your heart and soul into it.

2. When number 1 happens, get upset, bitch to your significant other and then get the hell over it.

3. Academics love to hear themselves talk.

4. Just because you're a physician doesn't mean a) you like people or b) you have any social skills.

5. Research begets more research.

6. Public health can be as ivory tower as any other discipline.

7. Ph.D. students are not necessarily smarter than MPH students no matter what big wigs in the department think.

8. No matter how many times the aforementioned Big Wig asks me to consider applying to the Ph.D. program the answer is still NO! NO! NO!

I have two days left of school, a three day weekend and then I start my practicum. I hope to start updating this site more often once I get settled into a routine.

Hopefully, I'll even be able to post more pictures of our little home soon!

Our House

2008-03-28T06:32:00.000-07:00

We're homeowners!

We hadn't planned on looking for a house, but, honestly we decided back in January that we were sick of living like graduate students (remember, I'm the only one who is still a grad student and this is, in essence, my last semester of school) so we decided to look for a place.

We had thought it would take us a while to find something, but we found something right away. The current owner is a total jerk and has been difficult to deal with, but other than that the whole home buying process has gone well. It's unnerving to sign your life away to the bank though--even with a low interest rate you still end up paying almost twice the price of the house over the course of thirty year loan.

I feel so adult. I'm super excited. It will be nice to own something and make the home ours. We move in the May 15th. More pictures will follow, for sure.

Blah

2008-02-14T06:58:00.000-08:00

I really should be working on some homework, but since I'm not completely bogged down in journal articles, assigned readings and papers to write, I thought I'd take this opportunity to actually update y'all with what's been going on here in Morgantown.

This semester started off with a bang. It seemed like within a week I had an huge amount of work to complete and no time. Thankfully, it looks like things won't be quite so bad; I'll have periods of insanity--like the entire month of April, for example--but otherwise, if I stay on top of things I should be okay.

My job with Santa hasn't really gone anywhere yet, unfortunately. We're waiting for a bunch of epidemiological data from a state agency, who for a variety of reasons I won't get into here, hasn't handed over the data. As a result, in my five weeks of work thus far nothing has happened. I haven't written anything. I haven't analyzed anything. Nothing. I have however, gotten a LOT of homework done and gotten paid for it while I supposed to be working, so I guess I can't complain too much.

A list

2007-12-15T07:51:00.000-08:00

In the past few weeks there have been some seriously good things that have been happening here in Morgantown.

· I got a job!: After waiting for several weeks to hear whether or not I’d gotten a job at the university with one of my professors, I finally found out that I was totally unqualified. However, my professor, who bears an amazing resemblance to Santa Claus (seriously), offered me a job as a graduate research assistant on a state health project. Apparently I’ll be writing a small part of the state’s burden report on cardiovascular health (a burden report basically uses epidemiological information from different data sources to describe how a particular disease/condition affects the health of a state). The best part is I get free tuition and a stipend for the semester. Hallelujah!

·We got a kitty!: Some of you who are on Facebook may have read my little rant a couple of weeks ago about how someone had abandoned the cutest, sweetest little gray kitty in our apartment complex. I was really upset because this cute little kitty, whom we had made little kitty friends with, was howling and crying outside our door to be let in during a really ugly wind and sleet storm about to weeks ago. I’m a huge sucker for cats, and it was unbearable to listen to her cry. So we adopted her (it wasn’t quite that easy—I had to wear Scientist down). We found out yesterday that she’s a) indeed a girl, b) not spayed c) never had kittens and, to our surprise, d) more than 4 years old (Scientist, myself and the vet all thought for sure she was a lot younger than that). We’ve named her Sophie and we’re getting her fixed ASAP.

·We hired a wedding planner!: Next semester is going to be damn busy given that I’m taking nearly as many hours as I did this semester, plus I have a job and a fiancé I would like to see every so often. So, I bit the bullet and hired a wedding planner. I feel kind of silly doing so given that we’re only having about 75 people attend the ceremony, but I just don’t want to deal with being out of town and trying to plan everything.

· Some asshole hit our car!: Okay, this isn’t exactly great news, but I thought I should include it in the list of exciting things that have happened lately. Some shithead hit our car and cause $2100 worth of damage to the bumper and rear left door. Lovely. It happened in our parking lot, during the day and, no, they didn’t leave a note. I’m sure it was someone who lives in the parking complex though.

·I will be home from December 16th until December 30th. If anyone is interested in hanging out, let me know.

Pre-Thanksgiving blues

2007-11-14T16:08:00.000-08:00

This past month has brought new meaning to the word "busy". I am mentally and psychologically fried due to the tremendous amount of homework, tests and reading I've had to complete over the past few weeks.

At least I'm learning a lot and doing well in my classes, although I've discovered that there are stupid graduate students here in West Virginia too. I get so incredibly frustrated with fellow grad students who do things like chew gum while giving a presentation or refuse to do their part in group projects that make people. I recently had to play the part of 'group nag' by forcing other members of a group project to actually do their part of presentation.

Thus is life in graduate school, I guess. I'm actually going to take some time off and hang with my mom this week. She's flying into Pittsburgh this Saturday and we're going to find some (hopefully) good shopping, food and cultural things to do over the weekend there and then head down to Morgantown for the rest of the week. Unfortunately, due to the irresponsiblity of my fellow group members in the aforementioned group project, I will not complete all my work before Thanksgiving break so I'll have to spend some time writing a paper for my public policy class.

At least, my beloved Project Runway is on tonight. Long live Tim Gunn.

I Asked for It

2007-10-04T05:07:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, when I'm in class, I almost get a rush. I love virtually everything about what I'm studying here in West Virginia (except statistics). For example, right now I'm taking a class in health policy and the health care system, and other than it further confirming the fact that the scariest thing about the state of health care right now isn't that no one really knows what to do to fix it (which is true) but rather that all anyone is willing to do is fight about what to do, I feel like I'm actually getting something out of my classes. I feel like I'm actually starting to see the bigger picture of how health is as much a reflection of who we are (i.e. our lifestyle) as it is the environment we live in. I know this makes me a giant nerd--which I'm totally okay with--but I like getting excited about my classes.

Unfortunately, though, right now I'm not feeling as excited about class as I am rather overwhelmed. I have a lot of work to do over the next few weeks which really sucks. Mainly because all I really want to do right now is a) go to Pittsburgh and shop and b) hike.

Knoxville

2007-09-21T04:15:00.000-07:00

I'm heading to Knoxville for a wedding this weekend. Scientist and I will be literally minutes from Smoky Mountain National Park and the 1600 black bears that supposedly live there. Maybe I'll get mauled by a bear for my thirty-first birthday, wouldn't that be cool?

Speaking of being old, I will officially be in my thirties come Monday, September 24th.

Yuck

2007-09-18T04:38:00.000-07:00

I just re-read the last entry I posted a few days ago and wanted to apologize for all the terrible typos and generally awful writing involved with it. I have fixed the numerous mistakes I made, and now it is much easier to read. I apologize for any pain it may have caused.

Our Arrival

2007-09-16T05:53:00.000-07:00

Because yesterday marked our one month "anniversary" in Morgantown, and I still have yet to publish anything about it, I'll refrain from a blow by blow rehashing of our fourteen hour plus trip. Instead I'll just hit on the highlights, along with the things we learned on the way:

1. As I mentioned before I was sick when we left CR. Then, I was still sick for a week and a half after we arrived. It sucked. A lot.

2. It is really expensive to move...

3....But buying new stuff if you (kind of) have the money is fun!

4. I found out that my application sat on someone's desk for two fucking weeks because this certain someone had a "sick" child. This person was not apologetic at all and made up a bunch of excuses and then had the gall to LIE to me about when I would find out about my acceptance just so I would leave her alone. Nevermind that I didn't find out that I'd been accepted until a day before classes started and it screwed up my financial aid, or that I still have no idea how to get an ID or, say, insurance.

5. Scientist got to see me honestly and truly flip out and start yelling upon this happening. He said it scared him and he considered hiding under the bed in hotel we were staying in when it happened.

6. I felt a little ashamed of myself for getting so angry. But, hello! Who doesn't ask their colleagues to take over for them if they are going to be out for a week. And besides, this person said they'd been "in and out" of the office all week, not that they'd been absent completely. Thus, they were just being plain old lazy and dodging any accountability whatsoever.

7. Morgantown is beautiful!

8. Morgantownians are super super nice.

9. The undergraduate population at U of Iowa is way cuter than the undergrad pop here. Sorry, but it's true.

10. The School of Public Health at West Virginia is much higher quality than the one at Iowa. It pains me to say that because I love Iowa so much, but, again, it is absolutely true.

11. Professors actually want to train their students to become knowledgeable, thoughtful practitioners of public health, not just promote their own research agenda or advance their career.

12. A professor actually told me that they wanted to mold their program into a research based program exactly like the one at Iowa.

13. I found out that the person who said that they had a sick kid and thus ended up totally delaying my acceptance (which led to me almost being fined $40 because my financial aid application was accepted super late and I barely paid my tuition on time) gave at least two other people the same song and dance two different semesters when they were in the process of applying. Apparently this person lies to everyone! Isn't that comforting. I guess incompetent people keep their jobs everywhere.

13. We got a new couch and chaise! They're cinnamon red.

14. Better yet, we got a washer and dryer. The best inventions ever.

15. We went to Pittsburgh.

16. We went to D.C.

That pretty much sums up everything that has happened since mid August.

Touring

2007-08-23T04:47:00.000-07:00

About a week before Scientist and I left on our farewell tour, a friend of mine commented on how "romantic" it was of Scientist and I to drop everything and move to West Virginia with nothing. While, on one hand, I totally agree with her--there is something romantic about giving up most material possessions and leaving all family and friends behind all in the name of "love"-- the older I get (I'll be 31 in almost exactly a month) the more I think its just crazy. That and I'm not really a romantic as much as I am sarcastic and cynical. Romantics and idealists usually become hard, bitter people once they've been around the block a few times, so I just skipped my idealistic stage and went straight on to being skeptical of everything.

But I digress.

Once we had all our stuff for our initial trip to Missouri packed up and ready to go (the remaining stuff was sitting in my mother's garage), Scientist and I headed to St. Louis for a few days. Unfortunately, we managed to hit STL in the midst of a nightmarish heat wave that lasted the entire 13 days we were in Missouri. In fact, when we arrived in STL it was a balmy 95 and then proceeded to rise up to 100 degrees (the heat index was actually 109-114 the last few days we were there) by the time we left.

The good news is Scientist's sister, Teacher, took me to David's Bridal where I found the Gown of My Dreams (as a bride this is what I'm suppose to call my wedding dress). Okay, so I didn't know it was the Gown of My Dreams until I came back to CR and tried it on for my mother, but whatever. It is beautiful and, most importantly, will look beautiful on me: its form fitting, strapless, and has a bit of color. I love it. I don't want to give anything else away because some of you who are reading this will actually be at my wedding next August.

Once we left STL we headed down to Springfield, where we hung with Scientist's cousin's family and his wonderful 91 year old grandma. I had been to Springfield once, a long time ago, but hadn't really gotten a chance to do much. Since Scientist knew the area so well, we were able to find lots of cool stuff to do. We even found a gym to work out at (I know, we're obsessed).

On Saturday we decided to visit Scientist's friends in Kansas City. I was really looking forward to walking around KC, but after about an hour or two of dragging ourselves around the main plaza where all the cool stores and fountains are, both of us were sweaty and thoroughly exhausted. Scientist's friends were cool though and it was interesting to meet people that knew him when he was in college.

Sunday and Monday we spent packing up our stuff and tying up loose ends in Cedar Rapids. Unfortunately, I also started to feel icky Monday night. My ickyness would turn into a cold/upper respiratory/sinus infection from hell would drag out for about ten days and which I'm still getting over.

That brings up to our time in Morgantown, which I'll attack in a later post.

Morgantown

2007-08-16T03:46:00.000-07:00

In Morgantown. Have very bad cold with horrendous sore throat. Will write complete update on entire glorious trip, including 14 1/2 hours in car as soon as I feel better.

God bless.

Oy, I feel like ass.

Road Trippin'

2007-07-31T08:38:00.000-07:00

We'll be on a road tripping across Missouri for the next 12 days or so, visiting Scientist's family. I may or may not be able to post anything during this time.

I hope everyone has a great couple weeks. I promise to post pictures and wacky anecdotes once we get to Morgantown.

Weekend Festivities

2007-07-23T07:25:00.000-07:00

This weekend was pretty great. Scientist's defense went smashingly well: his presentation was very good, and his committee passed him without any trouble. Now, he just has to add/change some things to his thesis and he is totally done with that fucking thing (I feel some animosity towards Scientist's thesis, considering how much of a HUGE pain in the ass writing it has been over the last, oh, six years for him). All corrections should be finished up this week in the midst of packing and cleaning our retched apartment.

On Saturday night we had a fantastic little party at a local bar in town. I was actually really surprised at the number of people who showed up. Of course, not everyone who said they would did, but still, it felt like a real going away party. Thanks to everyone who made an appearance! I will miss get togethers like this one once we move.

I'm starting to get really nostalgic and sentimental about leaving Iowa City. I shouldn't be surprised: I knew this would happen. As a lot of you know, I've traveled and lived all over the world, but no matter what I've always come back to the Cedar Rapids/Iowa City area. I know everything here, and even if I don't feel like I've made a bunch of friends since I came back to IC from Ukraine (after I alienated a group of "friends" I had made the previous two years), I know a lot of people.

Nevertheless, at first I was a little apprehensive about leaving IC. Then, I wanted to get the fuck outta here as soon as possible. Now, I don't know. Honestly, the thing I think I'll miss the most about this area is my mom. She's my rock. I love her to pieces. I also worry she'll get lonely and bored without me; we spend a lot of time just hanging out and doing stuff together. Who is she going to do that stuff with once I'm gone?

Other than missing my mom and a handful of other people/things,ultimately, I'm ready to go. I've lived here far longer than I ever hoped and I think there are much better opportunities waiting for both of us. This is our new start together.

One of my friends kept saying what we were doing was so "romantic". I'm not looking for romance as much as I am stability; I'm not at the point in my life where adventure and constantly moving is something that appeals. It isn't that I want to settle down, get married, buy a house and grow fat and old in the hills of West Virginia, but having something other than some clothes, a bike and a bunch of public health textbooks would be nice. I would like a desk and a car that runs. I would like to continue working on my degree. I would like to be in a public health program that is not totally disorganized and does not seriously suck in some ways. These are all reasonable things to want when one is about to turn 31. Don't you think?

Good Luck!

2007-07-20T08:55:00.001-07:00

Scientist defends his dissertation today! Everyone think really good thoughts for him!

We're Moving....No, really....

2007-07-19T05:35:00.000-07:00

So, as most of you know, there have been plans in the works for Scientist and I to move since Christmas. And finally finally finally we have a decision. We are moving to Morgantown, West Virginia...in less than two weeks!

Scientist had originally applied for a job in St. Louis (which, as luck would have it, he was offered almost immediately), where he would've been working for Saint Louis University as a post-doctoral fellow. Now, this job wouldn't have been so bad: I really like STL ( no matter what anybody says about it), Scientist's entire family is there, it isn't that far from my Mom and the School of Public Health at SLU (Saint Louis University) is very good. It's in a really shady area in which I was forbidden to walk through alone at night, when most of my classes would've been, but whatever.

Scientist's job in Morgantown, however, is SWEET. He'll be working for a branch of the CDC there, studying cool stuff like "black mold". When we went to Morgantown about a month ago Scientist met with a lot of people in the department, who all seemed cool, and gave a seminar about his work.

The School of Public Health at WVU isn't as old or well established as the one at SLU, but I was impressed by how unbelievably nice and welcoming everyone was towards me. The faculty member I met with was super super cool and very nice, and once I told her about my background etc., there seemed to be no doubt I would get in. Another bonus is she laid out an academic plan for me that allowed me to graduate in summer 2008, which is nice. That means I can plan and have my wedding in peace, without worrying about going to school, plus we can go our honeymoon, which will be overseas and awesome in September after all the tourists have left (more about the honeymoon in a different post).

When we got back from Morgantown we really agonized about what to do. We didn't want to base our entire decision on money, but the job in Morgantown paid $16,000 per year more and the cost of living would be considerably less than in STL. Still, the idea of moving to STL was very alluring; Morgantown is nice, but it doesn't have a lot going on. It actually reminded me of IC before the hospital began building facilities like crazy: the downtown was small, had mostly inexpensive stores and restaurants and a little on the boring side. That and it is a little isolated.

So, we deliberated and deliberated. Then, I got my financial aid notification from SLU. It was $9000 short of the estimated cost of attendance. That meant we would be living in a much more expensive city (rents aren't cheap unless you want to live in the 'hood), with a lot less money and barely enough dough to cover my tuition. So, we decided to move to West Virginia.

I'm very excited. Very. It will be nice to finally, once and for all, get out of Iowa City and see a totally new, not to mention absolutely beautiful, part of the country. We will be three and a half hours from two of my favorite people (Ellen and Brian), not to mention 5 hours from a good friend of our going to grad school in Charlottesville, VA.

I've got a good feeling about this!

The Story

2007-07-12T08:07:00.000-07:00

I should have known something was up.

About 3 1/2 weeks ago I came home from hangin' with my mom to find Scientist cleaning the refrigerator like a man possessed. Now, Scientist isn't a slob, or even a sloppy guy, but, like me, he's not one to take on big projects like cleaning the fridge for no reason. Especially on a really beautiful day. But he was, and figuring I should help, I decided to pitch in.

After we had finished, we started preparing some dinner. Since what we were making required us to marinate the meat for awhile, we decided to go for a walk at Kent Park, a park we started frequenting right after we met. It had just rained, so we figured there would be less people out there than usual.

Seeing as how I was totally stinky, I changed into something clean. Scientist did as well, changing into a nice clean navy shirt and some new shorts. I thought this was a little strange, as we were going to be gone for just a little while, but figured we had been cleaning, so he probably felt grungy or something and wanted to get into new clothes. He grabbed the camera and we headed out to the car.

Then, just as we were about to leave, Scientist said he needed to go get a CD, jumped out of the car and ran inside. When he came back, however, his hands were empty. He made some excuse about how the CD he was going to get was a "good" CD, as opposed to a burned one, and he didn't want to ruin it by putting it into the car stereo (for some reason, the car stereo eats CDs, so we try to only put burned ones in it, lest we lose it forever to the car stereo gremlin living there). I shrugged. Then, finally, we were off.

Once we got to Kent Park we started on our stroll. It had rained earlier, but the sun had come back out and it was late enough in the day that it wasn't humid and sticky, but rather pleasant.

Kent Park is unusual in the number of bridges it has. It has a lake where people fish, along with a beach and 4 or 5 bridges that surround the perimeter. There are always a lot of families with little kids running everywhere. It's very Midwestern.

At one point we stopped on one of the bridges and started doing cute couple stuff like making out and gazing into each other's eyes. After a minute though, Scientist said we should continue on to "our bridge". Like I said earlier, soon after we started dating we would go to Kent Park to relax and be together. The first time we ever went to Kent Park we took a bunch of pictures on this one bridge; this bridge, of course, gained some sentimental significance to both of us as our relationship progressed, and we considered it "ours". Disgustingly cute, I know.

But as we got closer to the bridge, we noticed it was occupied by three people with fishing poles and an extremely excited dog. When I pointed them out to Scientist he snapped his fingers and exclaimed "DAMN IT!" with far more annoyance than necessary. I was kind of surprised at his reaction, but he seemed to get a hold of himself and said something about how we could just stop on the bridge we were on.

That was when Scientist started in telling how much he loved and cared about me. Then he broke away and asked me to come stand away from the side of the bridge. I was a little confused by the way he was acting at this point, but followed him anyway away from the water.

That was when he pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him. After I had recovered from the shock of what he had just asked me, I told him yes.

We had talked about getting married for a quite awhile, but I had figured we wouldn't get engaged for at least another year, what with all the stuff that's been happening lately (my grandmother's death, his thesis, being unsure where we're moving to in the next few weeks, our impending homeless beginning on July 31st). He had gotten the ring on Monday and had been hiding it in various places, like the toolbox in the car and in his backpack, all week trying to figure out when the best time was to ask me. After he explained it to me it all made sense: him changing clothes, grabbing the camera, getting excited about people being on our bridge, etc. He had wanted me to stand away from the water because he didn't want to drop the ring in the water out of nervousness.

I'm extremely happy. We both are. The wedding should be sometime next year, probably in August.

And that is the story of how I got engaged.

2007-06-13T07:53:00.000-07:00

Early on a Friday morning, just a few days before Memorial Day, I got a call from my Mom. I knew immedately something was wrong--her voice sounded strange, there was a lot of noise wherever she was and it was 7 am. My mom never calls at 7 am.

Apparently, my 89 year old Grandma had had a brain aneurysm. In fact, she had 2 by the time they transported her from my hometown to the University of Iowa hospital. My mom told me to get to the hospital soon, because it didn't look good.

Over the course of the next few days my family pretty much watched over my Grandma day and night. The neurosurgeons, neurologists and physicans in the Pallitive Care Unit at UIHC were shocked that she made it past the first 24 hours and even more shocked that she made it through the weekend and ended up being transferred to a hospice where she lived for about a week..

Luckily, I was able to spend a lot of time with my grandma. I was able to talk to her and tell her how much all of loved her. I was able to apologize for not sending her a thank you card for something she sent me a few weeks ago, but most importantly I was able to just sit with her.

On Sunday, June 3, 2007 she passed away in her sleep. She lived a full life and will be missed by her family, friends and church.

So I've been meaning....

2007-05-18T06:56:00.000-07:00

So I've been meaning to post something on this blog for the last few months, but somehow, never seemed to get around to it. I always get behind in posting, and then I want to write about all the stuff that's happened over the last few months, but don't because I have no idea where to start. So then I don't write anything and people stop reading my blog...but then when I do decide to write something, no one reads it because they think I've stopped posting for the time being.

Really, nothing major has happened in the past 6 weeks or so since I last blogged.. It looks like we are not moving to Atlanta-- Scientist's job didn't come through, and Atlanta is just too expensive to up move there without a job or any prospects, really, whatsoever. So, for now, we'll be staying here. Although, that may change in the next few weeks. We'll see.

Atlanta?

2007-03-24T07:03:00.000-07:00

I know its been something like 4 or 5 weeks since I've posted anything. However, since no one has e-mailed me bitching, I figure y'all understand I'm a very busy graduate student and after acquiring my cool new job I've had very little time to do stuff like blog.

So, as some of you may have guessed from the title of this blog I WAS ACCEPTED TO EMORY! I think I'm still in a little bit of shock--this is one of the best public health programs in the country, and I got in.

Unfortunately, since nothing is ever easy anymore, I'm not sure if Atlanta is in the future for us despite my acceptance into such a phenomenal program. Scientist has to get a post doc or some other job, and then we'll very seriously consider moving.

See, Emory would cost me $40,000 plus per year, so before we pack our shit up and head down there I need to be absolutely certain that the advantages of transferring there will out weigh staying in Iowa, which may, in fact, be the case. The Center for Disease Control is in Atlanta (its even physically located next to the Emory campus), so, in theory I'll have more opportunities for both internships, which would help out financially, and jobs post graduation. That, and the curriculum, not to mention the tremendous number of resources, at EU make Iowa pale in comparison. Here I can't really specialize in anything--all I do is take one fucking required course after another-- and at EU they have course after course dedicated to STIs, HIV/AIDS, reproductive health, immigrant health....IT'S AWESOME.

So, there will be some major decision making being done in the next few weeks. I'll keep you all updated. Promise.

Wow

2007-03-09T06:50:00.000-08:00

It has been three weeks since I posted anything. I promise to change that, like, within the next few days. See then I'll have time and everything, it being Spring Break and all.

Two Good Things

2007-02-15T05:43:00.000-08:00

Two big things have happened since the end of January (and my last post).

First, I GOT A JOB! Actually the job 'got' me. I had applied for a regular, low level, student position at the University and had been told by the department secretary that I would "definitely be someone they would like to interview". Anyway, a week passed, and one day I got this e-mail from another guy in that office saying the position I had applied for would be filled soon, but there would be another position, as a research assistant, that I might be interested in.

So, to make a long story short, I'm now working at the university as a research assistant in global road safety. I'm helping my boss, Glasses, both find material for a course he'll be teaching on the same subject this fall, as well as shape the curriculum. It's completely autonomous, which is kind of nice, and allows me to read and think, unlike my other jobs.

The second big thing that's happened is I'm having my ear drum repaired in a minor, outpatient surgery on the 23rd. Despite the fact that this will be the third surgery on my ear in four years, I think this is actually a good thing. I'll feel better and hear a LOT better. I still hate surgery though, and I'm trying not to think about it.

Not much else is really going on. I need to start writing shorter posts; that way I can post more often. I hope.

War or Health

2007-01-29T17:46:00.000-08:00

I won't bother to tell you things have been crazy, because, really they haven't been all that crazy; Scientist and I actually went out and did something social as opposed to sitting on the couch and arguing over who's cuter, so I was actually busy this weekend. Other than that, I've been too lazy to write.

My classes are going pretty well thus far, although I'm a little wary of Global Health and Human Rights class. The subtitle (I guess that's what you'd call it) of the class is 'War and Beyond'; the course is suppose to examine the effects of war on health. I say suppose to because thus far we've not spent a whole hell of a lot of time discussing the impact war has on health, but instead my classmates and one of my professors (there are two) have made it abundantly clear that they want to 'discuss' how bad war is and how we should not be in Iraq and that Bush is a total fucker.

I have multiple problems with the way this class and it's subject matter are being handled. Firstly, I think it's pretty obvious that war is bad (DUH), therefore sitting around and repeating that very idea over and over again in different ways seems like a waste of time. It doesn't bare repeating--we all know war is "bad".

Secondly, this is not a political science class, nor a politics class, so discussing the validity of the war and why we entered into it in the first place seem irrelevant. If I had wanted to take a class about the second gulf war, I would've signed up for that. One of the professors seems perfectly content to let this go on, and in fact encourages it to a certain extent.

Thirdly, and most importantly, it upsets me a little that we're wasting valuable time discussing Iraq when we could be discussing things like the effect of civil war or ethnic cleansing on the health of the general public in warring countries. I took this class because I thought we'd be discussing the impact war--ALL types of war, not just the war we're in--on those living in affected countries. Ideally, I would like to work in an organization that helps the international community/immigrants with healthcare issues. I originally decided to enroll in this class because I thought I'd learn a lot of valuable information that I could later use to understand some of the people I'd be helping over the course of my career.

Instead I've learned something that actually drove me away from applying to graduate school years ago: Academics are completely out of touch with reality and have no idea how the world really works. They also have their own agenda, and even though I'm liberal, and I really dislike Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld, Inc., I'm sick and tired of having this academic fantasy world shoved done my throat. I also find it very difficult to take any of the undergrads serious (I'm also one of three grad students in the class, another surprise I discovered on the first day).

Last week I listened to a presentation given by a young man who said 'fuck' over five times along with 'shit', as well as slammed the army and called some of them psychopaths. I was offended.

So, my strategy to get through the class is this: I'm reading a book for a presentation that has NOTHING to do with Iraq. It is about Chechnya, a subject much more relevant to what we're suppose to be studying, and something I've studied before. Hopefully I can just put my head down and involve myself in my own work for the rest of the semester.

Goodbye Job!

2007-01-22T07:44:00.000-08:00

Today is my last day of work. I'm pretty happy about it, although I am actally going to miss some of my co-workers. I worked with my favorite co-worker yesterday and felt sort of sorry about leaving.

Last Day

2007-01-17T06:58:00.000-08:00

Jeez, I guess I didn't realize I hadn't posted in two weeks.

So, I sent my manager my letter of resignation on Sunday and haven't heard anything from her since. I'm sure this means that she's pissed at me. Gee, I guess this would mean something to me if a) I had done something wrong, but last time I checked I had the RIGHT to quit and b) I cared. However, since neither of those things are true (I didn't do anything wrong and I do not, in all honesty, care if she's pissed at me), I guess I'll just write this job off as another experience.

I decided to quit for several reasons. First, I'm tired of working crappy shifts late into the night or at the butt crack of dawn for very very little money. Second, this place is managed horribly. Third, and I know this isn't going to sound very nice, but I'm tired of working with undergraduates. Correction, I'm tired of working with some of the undergraduates I currently work with. I actually like the people at the JH branch I'm currently working with a lot better than the ones at the JH I used to work at. I don't think I'm better than they are, or smarter--I'm not that obnoxious--I'm just in an entirely different place in my life. That and I'm more mature and it makes dealing with their drama and temper tantrums (I'm thinking of one particular employee, especially) much much more difficult. I'm also tired of some of my co-workers taking their bad days out on me (see above comment about maturity). I used to have to put up with shit from other volunteers when I was in Peace Corps (where it was much more understandable because of the constant stress we were all under), and I'm frankly tired of having to deal with it. My tolerance for that is much lower than it was before. Sometimes, if you're nice and try to be understanding and empathetic in these sorts of situations (i.e. thinking to oneself, "B is being a total dick, but he's had a really bad day so I'm going to turn the other cheek and give him a break....like I did last week and the week before that.") you end up getting stepped on repeatedly.

So, I'm done. I mailed my boss my letter of resignation last Sunday and haven't heard anything since. I assume, knowing her, this is because she's pissed at me, which only proves the aforementioned point I made about the management. Last time I checked, I had a right to quit my job. I gave her two weeks notice, so what the fuck is her problem?

I still haven't decided if I'm going to get another job. I applied for one at the University that's a bit more in my line of work and will be a good resume builder, but I haven't decided if I'll be disappointed if I don't get a call back. I guess I should just shut up and enjoy my free time.

My Last Graduate Application Ever!....I really mean it this time....

2007-01-02T06:27:00.000-08:00

As some of you may know, Scientist is graduating (God-fucking-willing) with his Ph.D. in Immunology. Essentially this means he's sort of keeping an eye out for jobs in his field. Right now he's looking for stuff in Iowa, but he's also found a postdoctoral position at Emory University in Atlanta.

Now, one of the many reasons why I adore this man is because he's so considerate....and he adores me. When he first started looking for postdocs he said that, upon finding one, the first thing he did was check out to see if said university (postdocs are always with universities) had a college of public health. If not, he wouldn't considerate it and it was taken off his list of possible post doc positions. Isn't that nice? See what I mean about him adoring me?

Anyway, so he found this fabulous post doc at Emory. It's not just any old post doc where he'd spend the majority of his day conducting experiments: this position matches postdoctoral fellows to historically black colleges and allows them to teach hard sciences there. It wouldn't be full time teaching (I think he'd only be teaching 1/3 of the time and the other 2/3s he'd be doing research), but it would be enough so he'd get good experience. Scientist is not wild about spending his life locked up in a lab, killing mice and analyzing results. He's much more interested in teaching--he's got some experience at doing this and, given his disposition, I think he's much more suited for it. I'm in full support of him going after this post doc.

And it also doesn't hurt that Emory has an unbeatable program. Seriously. I know I've said that various schools I've applied to have had great programs, although not all of them have been in public health (remember I applied to Carnegie Mellon--and didn't get in-- along with Marquette--and did get in, but not with a fellowship--for non-profit management), and it's true, but this one....Is fabulous.

The Center for Disease Control--the mecca of all public health organizations--is in Atlanta. Emory does a tremendous amount of HIV/AIDS research. The Global Health program offers students the option to go overseas and conduct a research project. It's in the south!

So, of course, now I'm all excited about applying to this program. Yes, I know, I've already been accepted to the U of I program but, well, I might as well give it a shot. Besides, I doubt I'll get in....although, my stupid fucking math GRE score looks a lot less ugly now that I have a B+ in Biostats to put next on my transcript.....Still, I won't get in. I have to try though.

When I e-mailed a former Peace Corps volunteer at Emory (did I mention they have a Master's International program with PC?) she told me that they would pay close attention to my essay, and, incidentally, that my GRE score was just one tool they would use to measure my 'aptitude'.

So, as dorky as this is, here is my essay. Tell me all what you think (NOTE to those of you who read my Carnegie Mellon essay--it is very similar but not identical, especially the further you read).

Challenges in Healthcare

“Your Russian is excellent, really. You barely have an accent at all,” said the slightly plump, middle aged sex worker. I blushed. I always blush whenever someone compliments my Russian, because it makes me uncomfortable. Secretly, though, I love it.

I was gathering my things after meeting with a group of orphans at Unitus, an NGO located about 3 hours south of the small town in Ukraine where I served for two years as a Peace Corps volunteer, when I met this woman. Up to that point, my day had been spent showing these children pictures of America and answering their questions. By chance, however, I soon found myself in a meeting with a group of sex workers who quickly piqued my interest in the perils they face, specifically the threat of HIV/AIDS. I wasn’t aware at the time that this serendipitous encounter would influence me beyond my service in Ukraine.

That sex worker, like the other nine or ten sex workers that gathered at the center that day, was one of many that Unitus had educated about HIV/AIDS and STDs through their outreach program. My extensive knowledge of Ukrainian culture and Russian also provided me with the opportunity to work with Unitus for about a year and a half, translating a 16 page report from Russian into English, in addition to meeting with the orphans.

My experience with Unitus was beneficial to me on both personal and professional levels. It opened my eyes to the explosive infection rate of HIV/AIDS in Ukraine (both the highest and fastest growth in Europe), along with instilling a personal sense of urgency regarding the prevention and treatment of this disease in the United States and the developing world. My work at Unitus led me to co-chair Peace Corps Ukraine’s HIV/AIDS Working Group committee, which focuses on helping volunteers educate Ukrainians about HIV/AIDS. I served as a liaison between the working group and Peace Corps administration, helping recruit other volunteers to assist with different projects across Ukraine.

The challenges that the healthcare field now faces, both internationally and domestically, are enormous and frightening. How do we prevent further infection? How do we identify those at risk? Where do we choose to allocate resources—to areas within the U.S., or to developing countries with much higher infection rates? My interest in public health lies here--where home and abroad meet-- in educating and designing prevention programs for implementation both overseas and for non-English speaking communities within the U.S.

Both international and domestic communities challenge the public health system in unique ways. Working within immigrant communities in the U.S. is often more complex than working with at risk individuals in communities where English is the predominant native language. As a Peace Corps volunteer, I discovered that working abroad can be both incredibly rewarding and endlessly frustrating. Working around cultural taboos and mores while simultaneously providing accurate, clear information about HIV in a foreign language can seem nearly impossible. Both immigrant and communities overseas often pose additional challenges such as illiteracy and unemployment that impact the design of STD and HIV prevention programs aimed at high risk individuals within those communities.

In addition to creating prevention programs in the U.S. and abroad, government and grass roots organizations must be equipped to deal with more than medical issues to effectively combat the spread of HIV. All too often programs targeting the international community fail to understand cultural responsiveness to issues both directly and peripherally related to HIV/AIDS. This is an understandably complicated task for any NGO, or employee of an NGO, to undertake. As a Peace Corps volunteer, I needed to learn about Ukrainians’ attitudes towards a whole host of issues like drug use, contraception, and homosexuality in order to better understand the spread of HIV in Ukraine. I then used that knowledge to correct common misperceptions about prevention of infection. By implementing programs that strive to understand immigrant communities and their perceptions of issues related to HIV/AIDS, we can better treat those already infected as well as better prevent further spread of the disease.

My education at the Rollins School of Public Health will focus on the study of design and implemention of more effective programs to meet the needs of underserved communities Over the next two years, I hope to strengthen my project management skills in order to be better able to create culturally appropriate prevention programs. While at Emory I plan to expand my knowledge in areas such as needs assessment, reproductive health, and infectious diseases affecting immigrant communities and the developing world. There are also other areas of the public health sector in Atlanta, such as the CDC, where I would like to explore the possibility of assisting in research projects.

One of the most attractive features of the Global Health Program at the Rollins School of Public Health is the overseas experience that students are encouraged to undertake while pursuing their Master of Public Health degree. I believe this experience will benefit me enormously by providing the opportunity to return to Eastern Europe and use the knowledge I have gained at Emory to design and execute an STD and HIV prevention program in a small community. While a Peace Corps volunteer in Ukraine, I had not fully acquired the skills needed to influence the way Ukrainians viewed reproductive health or how to protect themselves from contracting HIV. I view the overseas experience as an opportunity to use the skills I will develop at Emory to make small changes in the attitudes of the people like those who I lived and worked with for two years in Ukraine. After completing my project abroad, I hope to use what I learned to grow as a public health professional as well as give me the opportunity to identify the additional skills I will need to develop in the future.

Completing the Global Health program at the Rollins School of Public Health will provide me with the appropriate tools to make a significant contribution towards solving the immense healthcare problems that international and immigrant communities now face. Ultimately, upon graduating from Emory, I hope to be better equipped with the knowledge, experience and skills to help women like that sex worker, who unknowingly set me on this path towards a career in public health.

Another Set of New Year's Resolutions

2007-01-01T08:31:00.000-08:00

Last year I managed to accomplish 4 and 1/2 of 6 of my resolutions (I only missed on number 4 and somewhat on number 2, so I'm adhering to resolution number 3 and cutting myself some slack), and consequently have decided to make a whole new set for 2007. They are as follows:

1. Enroll in, and complete, a boxing or kickboxing class.
2. Lose 7 pounds.
3. Run 5 miles in a week (this will be a huge coup if I do it).
4. Write and apply for a grant (to then be applied to my overseas internship in Summer 2008).
5. Get health insurance.
6. Eat at least one-two servings of vegetables and one serving of fruit most days.
7. Be better at keeping in touch with friends, especially those in Ukraine.
8. Study Russian once-twice a week for 1-2 hours at a time.

I think these are all accomplishable goals. I've wanted to both run and enroll in a boxing class since I arrived home from Ukraine just over a year ago, so that will be fairly easy. If I lose 7 pounds I'll be back at my college weight, which would be awesome. Applying for the grant will probably be the most frustrating of all--I have no experience writing grants, and do all that stuff you need to do with budgets sounds highly irritating. Health insurance is something I'm definatley going to need considering I'll probably be having surgery to repair my poor little eardrum sometime this spring. Number 6 will probably be the easiest to accomplish given my love of our new food steamer/rice cooker. And the last two.....I've just been really bad at these last few months.

What are everyone else's resolutions?

Hangovers and Christmas

2006-12-29T09:04:00.000-08:00

My head hurts and I'm hungover. Out-of-town Ellen and in-town Ellen, along with Darcy, Karen, and I all went to Formosa, this Asian Fusion place, last night for three dollar martinis and I drank a bit more than I'm use to (which is nothing, usually) and now my head hurts. I guess this would be why I don't drink much, huh? That and I was forced to drink huge amounts of alcohol in Ukraine and I'm totally done with doing that to myself now.

As most of you probably know, or guessed by now, I was in St. Louis for the weekend preceeding Christmas with Scientist. We did the usually family stuff, which was pretty fun. I got some nice things from Scientist-- a cool striped sweater and a gift certificate for a massage-- and his family. I got nothing hideous or stupid.

Scientist and I actually got up at the butt crack of dawn on Christmas day and drove back to Iowa, where we went for Christmas dinner (best ever--my aunt and uncle are awesome cooks!) at my grandma's place and opened even more presents. Scientist told me later that he was a little nervous about meeting my whole family (grandma, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.), but totally relaxed once he realized my family is completely unintimidating. That, and three of cousins had significant others with them, one of whom was new to the scene as well, so it took a great deal of pressure off him.

Since then we've been chillin'. Actually, I've been working and chillin'. I don't know how my manager got the impression I like closing, but I've closed nearly every shift at this new store and I really don't like it. Closing sucks.

We've also been doing a fair amount of cooking (big surprise). For Christmas I bought Scientist an Indian cookbook (along with the new Killers CD and a sweater) and convinced my mom to buy him a rice cooker/food steamer. It ROCKS. We fixed broccoli with cheese for lunch and Butter Chicken for dinner yesterday. Who knew appliances could be so much fun?

The Ear

2006-12-21T07:09:00.000-08:00

As some of you may know, about three years ago I had a couple of operations on my left ear to remove a cholesteatoma , a nasty little bugger that had decided to take up residence in my ear. I had a 'second look' operation a year later, and since having left Peace Corps I have had virtually no one touch it whatsoever.

So right around my birthday I start to feel as though I couldn't hear as well out of my left ear as usual. I made a big mistake of trying to clean it myself, with the help of Scientist, who insisted that if I used hydrogen peroxide to clean it out I'd feel much better (he was shown how to do this by a doctor after he had a nasty infection in his ear awhile ago). I basically dumped a bunch of hydrogen peroxide on my ear, and upon tasting it and feeling it slide down the back of my throat, decided this was not such a good idea. After that, my sinus started to bother me.

Finally, after a couple months of on and off sinus and hearing problems, I made an appointment with Otolarongolgy (Head and Neck Surgery) at the University of Iowa. I pretty nervous, seeing as how I want someone cutting into my head again about as much as I want to be thrown off a cliff (did I mention I don't have insurance until, at the earliest next month when I can get on UI Grad Care, which, apparently, rocks the house as far as coverage is concerned).

After waiting an hour and a half (remind me to be late next time) and sweating my ass off out of nervousness, a resident came in, took a medical history and proceeded to spend about 10 seconds trying to examine the inside of my ear before announcing we were going to another room with an ear microscope. Once inside the room the real fun began.

Apparently my ear was full of crap--not just ear wax (I know this is gross guys, but bare with me), but hard, bloody, glued to my ear drum ear wax. As the resident was extracting it I was squirming and gripping the sides of the chair. At one point he was like, "Um, I'm going to take out a tube....I'm not sure why that was there....It was just hanging out in your ear canal...Did you have tubes in your ears?" He had to stop half way through because I was in some pain and was about to fall of the chair (it literally felt like he was dragging a rake across my eardrum, which was not only painful, it was super loud). Then, about 5 minutes later he said, "Uh, here's another tube. Why do you have another tube." I said something about just being operated on and the surgeon in D.C. who did my surgery last while I was still in Peace Corps just operating on me and not telling me much about what he was doing (I don't think he could be bothered to explain, say, why the fuck he was putting two tubes in my ear).

You wouldn't believe the crap they pulled out of such as small canal. It was nasty. I think the resident was a little surprised as well.

After I was tortured and examined by the resident, the head doc came in. He told me he was amazed at what was in there, and in all the many years he had been doing this he had never pulled two tubes out of one ear (he told me I could take pride in breaking a new record). He then looked in my ear, and announced he saw two things: a) no problem with my middle ear, and thus, no recurrence in of my little friend cholesteatoma, and b) a "gaping hole" in my eardrum. The gaping hole is what, apparently, is causing the hearing loss.

So, in about 6 weeks, after I've officially started grad school and officially gotten health insurance, I will be going in for an audiogram (hearing test) and a consultation with an ear specialist about how to fix my hearing in my left ear. Should be interesting....

Stupid Grades

2006-12-18T05:39:00.000-08:00

So, my Epidemiology test went horribly awry, apparently, because I totally tanked the last exam. I'm not even kidding. Oh well, at least I still passed with a B (I hope). I have no idea what I got on my Biostats final, but I have a feeling I got a B+ on both the exam and for my final grade.

I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself given that a) this is my first semester of grad school, b) I haven't taken math since I was 17 and b) I didn't take the prerequisite course I should've for Biostats, but....damn it, I was nearly a few tenths of a percentage point from an A- in both classes and due to very little sleep the night before my finals and nerves, I blew As in both classes. Damn ITTTTT!

Enough. I'm on vacation. I should be relaxing for God's sakes. Jesus. What is my problem?

For the past three days I've worked new location of the coffee shop I work for. My tips were much better yesterday than they usually are at the location I use to work at, plus I really liked some of the people I worked with. Closing didn't even suck that much (when I worked at B & N I closed all the time and grew to hate it with a passion, along with the fact that the boss I had never ever closed), although I'm going to be sure to do it as little as possible next semester.

My mom and I are going to do a little shopping this afternoon, but other than that, I'm pretty much going to chill. Ah, I love vacation.

My Russian Winter Vacation

2006-12-14T07:03:00.000-08:00

Now that my semester of math is finally over maybe I can actually update this blog every so often. Really, though, who am I kidding? I always find other things to do other than update this blog. Like, say, watch episodes of Lost with Scientist while snuggling and drinking hot cocoa (I'm not even kidding: we're that disgustingly cute).

One thing I've been promising myself I'll do over the next month or so is brush up on my Russian. When I got back from Ukraine last year I pretty much purposely avoided do ANYTHING with Russian--I was so sick and tired of speaking it, reading it, writing it, hearing it....After acting as translator for another volunteer for over a year, along with using it to do normal every day sorts of things, I need a break. I never thought I'd get to that point, but I did. And my desire to speak remained at an all time low for almost a year.

But now I'm ready to pick up Harry Potter or Master and Margarita where I left off. I think I'll maybe even seek out a Russian conversation circle if I can (I've heard rumors of one existing here in Iowa City). I mean, I might start practicing now--I'm going to need my language skills for my overseas practicum for the summer of 2008....I know that sounds like the most anal retentive thing to do ever; to start honing and refining my Russian skills for something that's still a year and a half off, but Russian is a difficult languageand my standards are extremely high. Seriously.

Other than that I'm going to try to spend some serious time at the gym, read and work. We'll see if I get all these things accomplished. I'm always super ambitious when I have copious amounts of free time and then, ultimately end up doing squat.

Finals Week

2006-12-12T05:34:00.000-08:00

Thank God this semester is finally over. I've been studying for both of my finals for about two weeks now (I know, I know, I'm a nerd, but this math stuf is really hard for me) and I'm just ready for it all to be over. I don't know why I'm so worried about my grades; it's not like what I get in either class is going to affect whether or not I get into grad school here or not.

On a better, more exciting note, I scored big and signed up for three classes yesterday that I'm super excited about. The classes I'll be taking next spring are as follows: Global Health and Human Rights, Human Biology and Global Health Seminar. I'm not so excited about the Global Health Seminar (in fact, I'm trying to get permission to take another class instead, but I needed to sign up for at least 3 classes) because it's a 2 and a half hour seminar, but, hey, what can you do? I have to take it for my major.

I'm also going to start working at a different branch of the coffee house I work for. This one is a bit closer to home and will allow me to park for free as opposed to paying an arm and a leg like I do now whenever I work.

All in all, it's been a pretty good week. Wish me luck on my finals.

Public Health Goddess

2006-12-05T05:44:00.000-08:00

BIG NEWS!

I was accepted into the University of Iowa's Global Health program for spring 2007! YIPPEEE!!!

This is super great. Why? Because it means all of my hard work this semester has paid off. It means I finally got a department at the University of Iowa to acknowledge all the cool stuff I did in Ukraine. Hell, it means my Peace Corps experience is finally paying off-- a little.

It also means I'll get to take interesting classes next semester like 'Health Disparities and Cultural Competence' and, possibly, (if I get the professor to let me in dispite the class being closed) 'Global Health and Human Rights: War and Beyond'. Don't those classes sound COOL?

It also means that I'll be required to go overseas for my 'overseas experience' the summer of 2008. I don't know too much about the requirements thus far, but I've already got an idea for what I'd do there.

Just because I've been accepted here doesn't mean I'm necessarily going to stick around at Iowa to get my degree. See, Scientist graduates sometime this summer, and that means I'm going to apply to schools in the cities where he's looking for work, in the hopes that I get in and we can avoid being apart for a year or more while I finish my degree. By at least beginning my graduate studies now I can get some requirements out of the way and some of credits will transfer if we, in fact, move.

In the meantime, I'm going to bask in my happiness just a little bit longer. Oh, and I guess I should get crackin' on studying for my Epi and Biostats finals.

Back from St. Louis

2006-11-27T05:58:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a fabulous, relaxing, work free Thanksgiving. I know I did. I didn't do shit. Actually, that's not true....

I pretty much met all of the Scientist's family--his aunts and uncles, grandma, and cousin's family. They all seemed very nice, although I didn't get a lot of time to talk to each of them individually. His grandma seemed especially sweet, and for 90 years old she seemed really really with it (who still does crosswords at 90--the only person I know who will still be doing crosswords at 90 is Jake).

On Saturday night Steve and I went out with two of his friends from high school, Ice Cream man and his girlfriend, Candle Girl to the Hill, an Italian neighborhood in St. Louis. Everyone had so much pasta and toasted ravioli (a St. Louis thing; afterwards, everytime I told anyone that I had never had toasted ravioli they all got these incredulous looks on their faces and said, "REALLY?") we could barely move and punked out early. We're all 32 and 30 respectively and we're already going to bed at 11 on a Saturday night during Thanksgiving break. Christ.

It was, in all, a really nice, fairly stress-free weekend. I still love St. Louis and would not mind moving there with Scientist next year, and I got to spend time with people he loves while not overdoing it. Hopefully Christmas will be the same, although I doubt I'll be able to go to STL because of my shitty minimum wage job. GRRRR.....

Two Pairs of Jeans

2006-11-22T09:32:00.000-08:00

You'll have to forgive me if this entry is a little loopy. I had a really nasty nightmare last night that I was being tortured in someone's basement, and, as a result I was awake for three hours in the middle of the night. Why is it that even if I fall asleep after being in the middle of the night, I still wake up super tired?

Our trip to Chicago was great. I got some good relaxation time in, as well as having a dinner with Brian twice. On Friday we went for some very mediocre Ukrainian food in Ukrainian village, and then went for some beer afterwards. I forgot to warn Scientist that Ukrainian beer is about twice as strong as American beer, so he was staggering a bit at the end of the night.

Seeing Brian was great: I've been thinking about Ukraine a lot lately, so regailing Scientist with stories and speaking a little Russian, was nice. I wish Brian could come to Iowa City and see me in my element, now that I've seen him in his, but alas, grown-up things like work and school have kept that from happening thus far.

We also had a great culinary weekend as well. On Saturday night we went for Indian food at a place called Gaylord India (its downtownish, on Clark) and had some super spicy Indian food, which was a nice change from Iowa City, where, unless we have our Indian friends with us, no one believes that we, and more specifically me, can handle seriously spicy food. In fact, when we were ordering one of our friends said to the waiter, "These two can handle it spicy." I ended up getting what I asked for. Any spicer and it would've made me cry. Literally.

On Sunday I ended up buying not one but TWO pairs of Levi jeans. This is a major coup for me for several reasons: a) I'm 5'2 so finding jeans that fit and I don't have to have shortened is difficult, b) these jeans totally fit well and look super nice on my body, and c) I got two pairs for $70 bucks, which ain't bad if you refuse to get cheap jeans that fall apart in the wash and make your ass look huge like you would if you bought them at Walmart. Honestly, this alone brightened my entire weekend.

Tomorrow I probably won't be posting, seeing as how Scientist and I are heading to St. Louis for Turkey Day and won't have access to e-mail quite as often as I do at home. I hope you all have a wonderful day with people you love, relaxing and enjoying time off.

Chicago

2006-11-17T06:45:00.000-08:00

I know this is going to come as a big shock, but Scientist and I are going out of town this weekend.

Scientist is presenting at an Immunology conference this weekend, and since I LOVE CHICAGO and we're so attached to each other we can't even be apart for a weekend, we decided it would be best if I came. That, and I threatened to break up with him if he didn't take me.

So, off to Chicago we go. I'm super excited, not only because I love Chicago (I always thought it'd be nice to move there some day when I have a job or something), but because I'll get to see my bestest friend in the whole world, Brian. I haven't seen Brian in almost a year, so it will be super cool to hang with him in Ukrainian Village, the neighborhood where he lives, drink Slavootich, and speak in Russian.

Speaking of all things Ukrainian, on Thanksgiving Day it will be one year exactly since Brian and I left the land of borsht and vodka for Europe where we bumbled around for 3 weeks after our Peace Corps service ended.

I don't think I've fully absorbed the fact that it's been 1 whole year since I last saw Oksana, my host mother, Lubov Illinichna, my lovely Russian tutor, and Evgenia Alekseevna, my one and only ally at my school, along with a numerous other people I loved while I was a volunteer. It's hard to believe that's it's been so long.

I don't write about Ukraine too much on this blog because I'm still sort of processing everything that happened. That, and I realized during the course of my PTSD treatment that my entire Peace Corps experience was colored by the fact that I was desperately trying to come to grips with my accident and how much it totally fucked with my head, that, and I was trying to hide from everyone around me how much I still thought about it and how frustrated I was that I couldn't stop feeling anxious and scared. All that makes me very very sad....but that is for another post and another time.

AAAACHOOO!

2006-11-14T05:53:00.000-08:00

Man, am I sick. My throat hurts, I can't breath out of the right side of my nose, my ears pop every time I blow my nose and my sense of taste and smell are totally shot.

This probably won't surprise a lot of you that knew me during Peace Corps, when I was sick constantly, but since arriving home I've only had a cold twice. Stupid me, I was under the mistaken impression that, because my immune system had taken such a beating for two years while I was in Ukraine, that now that I was back in the U.S. where everything is so god damn clean and people are crazy sanitation freaks (have you seen the handy wipes they have at the grocery store--completely unneccessary), I wouldn't get sick. Alas, not even my super robust immune system can escape the first round of winter colds circling this winter.

Election

2006-11-10T09:43:00.000-08:00

It is nice to see we didn't screw up this election like we did in 2004.

I don't remember the last time I've as unpolitical as I am right now. Honestly, I don't read the paper more than once or twice a week and, as ashamed as I am to admit this, I didn't know a tremendous amount about the candidates I voted for. Now, that being said, I didn't just vote for whoever. I voted Democrat--as any good, smart American would.

I think part of the reason I've tried to distant myself from reading the paper is because of the war: I don't know how I feel about it anymore, and honestly, I'm so frustrated and confused about who actually did what, who said what and where the hell we're suppose to go from here, I've decided to stop reading about it. Maybe it's not the most responsible thing for me as an American of voting age to do, but its what I've chosen to do for now. But just for now.

Grey Bears

2006-11-07T06:02:00.000-08:00

This weekend with Scientist's parents went super well. Friday night we went to Cedar Rapids and had some of the richest lasagna I've ever had in my life (Scientist had meatloaf, as did his mother, which I think, made everyone happy because it meant he'd finally shut up about how the great the meatloaf was and just eat it). Thankfully, everyone loved their food, so I scored points for choosing the restaurant.

As expected my mom and Scientist's parents hit it off. My mom and Scientist's mom, especially got along well. Another for the win column.

The rest of the weekend went pretty well also. I worked Saturday and Sunday morning at the butt crack of dawn, which kind of sucked, but I made fairly good tips for a Saturday morning.

Speaking of suck, don't even get me started on how the Hawkeyes played against Northwestern. Jesus. I can't believe we lost to Northwestern.

Then, Sunday night after the Grey Bears had left (that would be my cute nickname for Scientist's parents), Steve and I made ourselves a really great dinner. We used to do this all the time this past summer, but unfortunately our schedules have gotten sort of crazy these past few weeks and we haven't done made anything in a long time. Anyway, we made this Morroccan stew with ginger, beef, lentils and garbonzo beans and then a side of the yummiest zucchini frittatas. God, it was so good!

Next weekend will be, hopefully, equally as mellow. Then the weekend after that we're heading to Chicago where I hope to see my dear friend BRIAN (who has not e-mailed/called me in ages, ahem!) and where Scientist is presenting at a conference. The weekend after that we're going to St. Louis for Thanksgiving....It's going to be a full November.

This Weekend....

2006-11-03T14:21:00.000-08:00

This weekend should be fun. Scientist's parents are coming into town for the Iowa vs. Northwestern game, so I'm most likely going to be busy doing stuff with them. Tonight we're going to CR to meet my mom and all 5 of us are having dinner at a place called Granite City. We went there for my birthday well over a month ago and Scientist is still raving about how totally awesome their meatloaf and mashed potatoes dish is, so he insisted we go back there again.

I think my mom and Scientist's parents will get along really well. My mom's job is very similar to Scientist's dad's job, and since all my mother does any more is work (much to my chagrin), they'll have plenty to talk about.

I spent all day today cleaning, doing laundry and working out. Normally, I wouldn't have cared but, I needed to get all my stuff done by 4:30 when Scientist's parents are suppose to arrive, plus I've had a long two weeks of school and I was really looking forward to unwinding with some coffee and a book. Alas, I'm a big girl and I stuff I needed to get done, plus I had nothing to read. Oh well, at least I got the coffee.

Seriously Irritated

2006-11-01T14:43:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I skipped my Biostats discussion today, which, in and of itself is not good or really excuseable, but, in this case, is totally understandable. Here are the reasons why:

First, I took an extremely difficult Epi test (Epi= Epidemiology for you non-public health folks) today which fried my brain completely. I was so frustrated afterwards: I studied quite a lot for that damn test and I'm not sure I'm even going to get an A.

Secondly, I'm still pissed about getting the exact same score on my Biostats test as I did on the last one even though (again) I studied like a madwoman, re-worked all the problems on the homework (and got them all perfect) and paid close attention to everything my professor and TA said. I know I shouldn't be too irritated--the class average drop 10 points and mine stayed the same.

Finally, the College of Public Health.....Jesus, where do I start? I turned in a new (sort of) letter of intent for the Global Health program today in hopes of being admitted to the GH program for spring 2007. I had gone around and around with the new secretary about whether or not I needed to submit a new application or application fee for my most current effort (this is to get into department I should've been admitted to anyway, but whatever). I explained to the new secretary that the old secretary told me that, no, I didn't need to fill out anything else or submit any new materials, seeing as how nothing else had really changed other than the fact that I was being cool enough to put forth a lot of effort and take two math intensive classes, which, truth be told, are really hard for people IN the program, let alone for a poor shmuck like me who has had no math at all since high school.

Unfortunately, even after clearing this up I get a call this afternoon from a woman with a really urgent sounding tone in her voice saying I needed to make sure I filled out a new grad application for the Grad Admissions office right away. I patiently explained my situation, and that I had been over this before with both the new and old secretary and we had determined that no, I did NOT need to fill out a new form, but this woman insisted I fill out a new form. When I told her, in my I'm-really-trying-hard-not-to-scream-right-now voice that I was told explicted that I DID NOT NEED TO FILL OUT A NEW FORM by the old secretary (who had been there for years) the new woman said, well, that's too bad but "there was nothing I can do about it now, retroactively". This...well, this pissed me off.

So, I dragged my ass out of bed, called Graduate Admissions and was promptly told that no, I did not need to fill out another form. All admissions needed to do was send a new recommendation form to the College of Public Health to be filled out by whoever regarding whether or not I will actually be admitted to this damn program. Then she asked what program I was applying to. I told her and she said, "There is no Global Health program." I tried to explain to her that it was housed, so to speak, in a different department, but this woman kept cutting me off and telling me she didn't know where to send the form because the department that houses the Global Health program doesn't offer an MPH (um, I'm pretty sure this isn't true, but I was not about to argue with her). After explaining again and again everything I know about the program I know exists, and to which I'm applying to this spring, I gave up.

After I got off the phone with this woman, I was ready to throw the phone across the room. These people really do not know their heads from their asses, and in an effort put everything in its place, they've completely organized themselves into disorganization. On the surface everyone looks like they know what their doing, but really, they don't.

Eventually, I got a call from the woman at grad admissions saying she was sending my grad application materials to the department that houses Global Health (um, I TOLD YOU TO DO THAT TO BEGIN WITH) and everything was cool. I asked her if I needed to fill out another application. She said absolutely not and she didn't know why I was told to do that to begin with, since the College of Public Health already has everything they need anyway.

So, you see, I ditched my class so I could go to the gym and sweat out my frustrations. Don't you think that was the right choice?

Sore Arse(s)

2006-10-28T04:16:00.000-07:00

This is a picture from our fabulous biking vacation in Augusta, Missouri. Actually, at the time this photo was taken there had been no biking whatsoever done. We were, in fact, enjoying a very nice meal at a local brewery the night before our aforementioned fabulous biking vacation.

Let me back up and start from the beginning. Friday afternoon we took off from Iowa City for Augusta. We had, er, Scientist, rather, had made a reservation at the cutest, sweetest little bed and breakfast in Augusta. Apparently, this part of Missouri is known for its wines, and it attracts a fair number of tourists interested in combining some nice uncomplicated wine with biking. An admittedly uncommon combination, but one that works nevertheless.

Anyway, we spent our first (and only night) in Augusta enjoying some semi dry white wine and a nice meal at a local brewery. It would've been nice if one of the wineries had actually stayed open later so that we could've enjoyed sat outside, drank and relaxed, but apparently this time of year they have really funky hours and don't stay open late. We were a little disappointed at first, but it ended up working out well: the food we had at the brewery was good, the waitress was nice, and we got some awesome pictures taken of us together and of each other.

Then we made our way back to our room at the bed and breakfast and relaxed in the semi-broken jacuzzi bathtub (the bubble maker didn't make any bubbles, it just leaked water all over the floor, which in turn dripped water through the ceiling into the restaurant below). Our bed was huge (I literally had to run and jump onto it to get in it--no joke) , comfy and warm. I was out like a light.

The next morning we got up and had the most fabulous breakfast ever--Eggs Benedict. God damn, I love Eggs Benedict! Is there anything better in the world than eggs smothered in hollandaise sauce? In fact, I would venture to say that the bed itself, along with the breakfast made the insane price we paid for everything worth it--maybe that's why it's called a bed and breakfast (badoom ching!).

Then, we started out 26.8 mile ride. It was pretty chilly at first, but we warmed up a bit as time went along. By the time 4:30 rolled around we weren't really talking: not because we were mad at each other, but because both of are respective asses hurt. I didn't believe Scientist when he said we'd be sore by the end of our ride.

Saturday night we visited Scientist's sister, niece and nephew, and then made our way back to his parents place where I fought the urge to crash at 8 pm like the old woman I am. By Sunday afternoon we were back in Iowa City and our little den. What a kick ass weekend.

New Update Coming Soon

2006-10-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

So, I've been incredibly busy, which is why I haven't posted squat in the last, um, 2 weeks. Forgive me. I'm in the middle of writing an update about an awesome bike trip Scientist and I went on a little over a week ago. For now, though, you'll all just have to wait until I finish studying for my Biostatistics test.

This is a picture of me drinking some nice wine we had at one of the local wineries.

HELL YEAH!

2006-10-11T05:52:00.000-07:00

I got a 94% on that awful Epidemiology test, guys! Isn't that AWESOME?! That test was really hard and I left it thinking I had actually done a worse (possibly) on it than the last one I took. I'm so excited.

So take that University of Iowa who wouldn't accept me because they were afraid of how I'd do on math intensive courses and ended up asking me to take these two classes that are not easy for anyone let alone someone who hasn't taken any math since 11th grade. (Um, maybe this would be WHY I didn't do well on the math section of the GRE? Ya think?)

HA!

Good thoughts

2006-10-09T05:54:00.000-07:00

Ever since I was little I use to do this thing with my Mom and Dad where, whenever I had some sort of important event (i.e. an interview, test, surgery, etc.) I asked them to think good thoughts for me. I always thought, as I still do, that if you have an entire group of people willing you to do well, that sometimes it gives you the extra little boost you need to get through whatever it is you need to get through and to do well at it.

So, today I have a test in my Epidemiology class. Everyone--think good thoughts for me. We'll see if it works.

Does anyone else have any silly rituals like this one, or just me?

Homecoming

2006-10-07T06:52:00.000-07:00

I've updated this blog 3 times in the last week. Good for me.

Today I'm going to my first Iowa football game. We're playing Purdue. We should, hopefully, kick their asses up and down the field.

Last night Scientist and I went downtown and saw Guster play a free concert. You gotta love Homecoming weekend--the University has shelled out big bucks before to get some pretty good bands play. They were opening for Kansas.

As a strange side note, I saw a girl last night that looked like a 20 lb lighter version of, G, a girl who served with me in Pervomaisk. She even had the same eye make-up (black and little smeared) and a short denim skirt that looked exactly like a skirt G use to wear. It was startling. It, of course, evoked another Peace Corps story from me.

Well, that's about it. Hope you guys have a great weekend. GO HAWKS!

P.S. Black & Gold are the University of Iowa's colors. Thus the multi-colored post

Study Avoidance

2006-10-04T12:07:00.000-07:00

The last few days I've been studying so much for an upcoming Epidemiology test I have on Monday, I think my head is about to explode. Other than that, though, I haven't been up to anything out of the ordinary.

I did, however, just find out that the program at the U of Iowa I'm applying to for this spring (the Global Health Studies program) is now a part of Occupational and Enviromental Health. What does this matter, you ask? Good question.

Because there's an RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteer) that is a professor on the admissions committee and believes in my talent and commitment to public health and is willing to speak to the admissions committee on my behalf, that's why. This professor, in addition to being really cool, and, I think, agreeing with me that the Community and Behavioral Health fuckers are stupid for turning me down this fall for something as stupid as my math score, seems to understand that if I can do two years in Ukraine, I can do graduate school.

So, I've felt pretty confident about getting accepted into the Global Health Studies program for this spring. There's just one problem....

Scientist is most likely graduating with his PhD in July. He's not sure where he wants to go or when or to do what exactly, but there's a chance it will not be in Iowa. I don't know if it's a good chance or a small chance or what, but it exists. This, of course, throws a kink into my plans to finish school here, 'cause I'm going with him. Staying together is something we both want to make happen and are willing to sacrifice to make happen.

This, of course, means I'll start a graduate program here, hopefully transfer to a program with an even better program somewhere else and finish my degree there. I have mixed feelings about leaving. Getting out of Iowa is not a bad thing (no offense, Iowa or Iowans), however, paying out-of-state tuition is. I'm not comfortable sponging off of Scientist: I want to be independant and make, or, at least, borrow my own money, but some of the places he's looking at will be outrageously expensive for me to study at, and thus make NOT depending on him an impossiblity.

So, I'm mulling all this over. Ultimately, it's still to early to worry about where I'll be going, but I told Scientist I need to have a short list of possible places so I can apply to relevant schools in the nearish future (like, December).

Just when you think you have a plan, your boyfriend's PhD fucks it all up. Grrr.....

The New Face of Thirty

2006-10-01T18:01:00.000-07:00

Awww.....

Aren't we cute?

This picture was actually taken on Saturday, September 23rd, just hours before I turned 30.

Jesus, I'm THIRTY.

I actually ended up having a fabulous birthday. Saturday night we went to Devotay, by far the best restaurant in Iowa City (in addition to being the only Spanish restaurant) and filled up on paella, which is a rice dish with green olives, shrimp, sausage, chicken, tomatoes and a sundry of other yummy stuff in it.

After that we made our way over to a bar in the Ped Mall, Donnelly's, which has a really cool laid back atmosphere with the bestest sweet potatoe fries ever (I mention this only because I've had them before, not because I was actually able to eat any of them after stuffing myself with paella). I was afraid no one was going to show up for my birthday, but I actually had a few people turn out. My friend Ellen took this picture of Scientist and I. (There is actually another great picture of Ellen and I from that night, that I may post later.)

At about midnight I was feeling pretty good, not drunk, but just tipsy enough to be grateful I wasn't driving. After engaging in a really weird conversation with a friend of Scientist's about how great 30 is for women sexually, said friend of Scientist's bought a round of shots and I was officially almost drunk. Then we left.

I turned 30 at 12:31 am at the corner of Iowa Avenue and Linn in front Atlas, another Iowa City fixture. Upon announcing that I had just entered a new decade of life, Scientist and I started making on the street (did I mention we're disgustingly cute, and, um, drunk?), which elicted a reaction from a passerby (we actually thought he was making fun of us, but he told that, he, in fact, thought our making out was nice).

We made our way home, passed out and got up in the morning and had the best day ever. Scientist made me an Egg McMuffin (my favorite breakfast), and then we just laid around for awhile. I didn't study. I didn't worry about money. We just enjoyed each other's company.

At around 2 we went and had a mini-picnic at a local park. Later that night, we went to dinner with my mom and my aunt and uncle who live in Arizona, and I rarely see. My dinner didn't compare to the Spanish food I had the night before, but I honestly, I was getting tired of eating out and was far more interested in spending time with my family and Scientist, than anything else.

I really couldn't have asked for anything more on my birthday: I spent time with people I love, I didn't stress, I had yummy food, lots of beer and wine and generally just chilled out. It was awesome.

Prosecco

2006-09-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

I really do have the best boyfriend in the world.

Last night, Scientist arrived home from work on his bike, sweaty and full of sweetness, and presented me with a bottle of Prosecco, one of my favorite alcoholic drinks in the world. He had, apparently, ridden half way across Iowa City to buy for me on my birthday (thus the sweatiness). Isn't that sweet?

We ended up having a pretty low key night-- we watched most of The Godfather II and ate some really kick ass Spinach Alfredo and Tomato pizza, along with drinking some Prosecco (unfortunatley it wasn't as awesome as the stuff Brian and I had in Italy). It was nice.

Tonight we'll have dinner at this great Spanish tapas place, Devotay, and then meet some people at a downtown bar. I need to make sure I take it easy on the Sangria so I can make for the long haul. I'll turn 30 at 12:31am Sunday morning. Oy.

More reflections on aging later.

The beginning of Birthday weekend!

2006-09-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

As of 10:50am this morning my birthday weekend extravaganza has begun. I finished a Biostatistics test (which was not very easy, let me tell you) this morning--the end of which marked the beginning of the aforementioned birthday weekend--as well as a Epidemiology test on Monday (which I got a B on, God damn it).

Maybe this weekend I'll have a chance to write more, although between eating, going to see The Last Kiss, snuggling, drinking, puking in the Ped Mall, and shouting "I'm THIRTY, BITCHES!" at every turn, I may not have time. We'll see.

I hope you all have a great weekend!

Thiiiiirrrty

2006-09-19T06:32:00.000-07:00

I will be thirty years old on Sunday, September 24th, 2006. More about this and how I'm handling it later.

You may carry on with your day now.

Robin

P.S. Why hasn't anyone been commmenting lately? I feel neglected (sniff, sniff).

Almost, But Not Quite

2006-09-14T09:56:00.000-07:00

I really need to get on the ball about updating this blog more often.

It's been a good, although frustrating week. Classes are going well. I got a hundred percent on my Biostatistics homework! (HA! So much for me not being so great at math, huh?) My Epidemiology class is still interesting, although I'm a little nervous about a test I have coming up in a week; I just want to get it over with, really. That was the good part.

The frustrating part came at the end of the week. As I mentioned before, about 6 weeks back I applied for a job at Planned Parenthood as a clinic assistant. I had been really hyped up and excited about this job: it payed well, gave me some solid experience in public health, included a full medical/dental/vision plan, and seemed to be in a very woman friendly environment (which would be a totally new experience for me, considering my experiences both in corporate retail/coffeeshops and misogyny riddled Eastern Europe).

Unfortunately, I didn't get that job. My Scientist and figured it went to a nursing student or, possibly, someone with more counseling or medical experience. I sort of scratched my head and figured I chalk this one up to another missed opportunity.

That is, until Wednesday when my mom got a call on her answering machine from the nice HR lady I talked to in PP Headquarters in Des Moines. She was inquiring as to whether or not I was still looking for work.

I ended up arranging an appointment with S (I'll call her S for privacy's sake), the PP manager in Iowa City for Friday. I was a little nervous about the meeting; I could take the job but only if they could work around my class schedule. Now, normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but as a part of this new job they wanted me to drive to the Quad Cities every Tuesday and help out the clinic there. I, of course, have class on Tuesdays, so I wasn't sure how well this would work out.

S was super nice. She started out by telling me she felt as though she owed me an explanation regarding why I didn't get the job I had applied for at PP over a month ago. Get this: she said I was OVERQUALIFIED. Can you believe that shit?! She said she had wanted to give me the job, but given my experience (I did some HIV/AIDS outreach work as a Peace Corps volunteer in Ukraine) she felt that I was overqualified and was afraid I'd leave soon after being hired.

Needless to say, we went around and around about how much I wanted to work there and how great she thought I was, and preceeded to basically give each other one warm fuzzy after another. Then I showed her my schedule.....which was when all the warm fuzzies ended.

S basically told me that the only way I wouldn't get this position would be if she couldn't make my schedule work with the schedule of when she needed people. She also told me no less than three times that she really really wanted me to work there, and that if it didn't work out that it would ONLY be because of my availability (specifically my availability on Tuesdays).

Anyway, the nice lady from Des Moines PP HQ called that afternoon and told me (via my answering machine) that, in fact, things weren't going to work out. S couldn't arrange all the employees' schedules to work, so I was out of luck. Thus, I missed another opportunity to make $4 more per hour, earn full medical, dental and vision benefits and work in a job that is, in fact, in my field.

Needless to say, I'm a little disappointed. I'm trying to adopt this shucks-that's-too-bad attitude, but each near miss on the money and job front makes it a lot harder. God. Damn. It.

EMDR

2006-09-03T13:01:00.000-07:00

It is never ceases to amaze me how fast this blog can wind up out-of-date. You'd think I was horrendously busy or something.

Actually, I am pretty busy between classes, homework, work, working out and cuddling with my Scientist (yes, I know that's icky sweet). It's all I can do to keep up with Project Runway and call my mother every week.

Things have been going pretty well, I guess, except I'm starting to get ridiculously worried about money--if I don't finish up my PTSD treatment and get this lawsuit FINALLY settled I'm not going to be able to pay for tuition and will be totally screwed financially. Why, oh, why couldn't I have been born into money? Or have a gift for business and a degree from a highly ranked business school?

Speaking of my PTSD treatment, things have been going very well with my therapist, Dr. L. I don't think I've actually described the treatment I've been undergoing thus far: it's called 'Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing' or EMDR. Essentially it involves "reprocessing" whatever traumatic event it is that's causing you anxiety or depression.

EMDR is a fairly revolutionary treatment: the patient sits with his/her eyes closed with headphones on, holding this little disks in each hand. The therapist basically guides him or her through re-living the event while the patient listens to alternating beeps in each ear and feels the little disks vibrate in each hand. I know it sounds totally wacky (that's what I thought when I first heard about it), but the logic behind the treatment is sound (pardon the pun). The idea is that when you undergo something highly traumatic that causes you to avoid things in your life associated with the event or causes some sort of psychological stress, the centers in your brain that control emotion and logic get "clogged up". The beeping in your ears and the vibrating disks in your hands are basically used to stimulate both sides of your brain while you're reprocessing it, hopefully with the goal of removing any and all sense of fear that's associated with the aforementioned event.

How does this treatment relate to me and my PTSD? Good question. I get really anxious when I drive, especially when I'm in any situation that involves driving somewhere where I can't always see the driver or when there's any sort of blind spot whatsoever, like say pulling out of Scientist's parking lot. Additionally, I get super nervous when I'm driving anywhere near anyone with white hair, or when someone rushes up behind me, or when I'm close to a big van/car/truck/semi....If you think about how often you encounter any of these situations over the course of a day, you can see I'm constantly winding up in situations that cause me to freak out (sometimes literally).

This, of course, doesn't include my daymares, nightmares, my overwhelming anger at the guy who hit me or how shitty some of my "friends" were after the accident. Needless to say, we're trying to cover a lot of ground and get me back to a place where I'm not pissed off or afraid of something a lot of the time.

First Day

2006-08-22T02:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I completed my first full day as a real live (non-degree-seeking-for-this-semester- anyhow graduate student.

The class I had was Epidemiology I. For those of you not familiar with the term 'epidemiology', look it up. Just kidding. Seriously though, you should look up words you don't know. Didn't anyone ever teach you that? Epidemiology is the basically the study of the spread of disease and the causal factors or etiology of disease. God, I'm smart already. Can anyone say "Robin is totally going to get an A this semester? Hmm? Anyone? Anyone?

I don't think this class is going to be really awful or anything; in fact, I think it won't be bad at all if I go to class and do the reading. I even have a study buddy: my friend Ellen I. Some of you may remember her from years ago when I lived with her, way back when I was a bad ass Russian Studies undergraduate. She seemed to think it wouldn't be too bad either.

This morning I have Biostatistics, which is probably the class that's going to be a bear this semester, although, according to Ellen, it isn't nearly as bad as the College of Public Health likes to make it sound. We'll see.

ARGHHH!

2006-08-17T13:36:00.000-07:00

I know I probably shouldn't be posting anything when I'm so damn grumpy, but screw it.

I had a really bad shift today. First, I was 8 minutes late to work; I know that's not a huge deal or anything, and my "supervisor" didn't care, but I pride myself on being on-time. I hate running late. It seems to throw the rest of my day off; which, funnily enough, is exactly what happened today.

The second crappy thing that happened was the weather. This wouldn't be such a big deal, but, as anyone in retail or food service knows, drastic changes in weather can adversely affect business (i.e. business picks up a lot or slows to a near stand still). Starting at about 7:15 am (I arrived at work at 6:30 am--can you believe that shit?!) we had no less than 20 people in line at any given moment. This wouldn't have been so bad except my "supervisor" decided to be a total fucking bitch for the entirety of my shift.

I would be willing to forgive her for her bad mood except a) she never apologized, b) she made me miss my bus at the end of my shift, c) she seemed to think she since she was having a bad day she could take it out on me and d) I don't get paid enough to put up with this shit. Really.

I think out of all the transgressions she made, taking her bad mood out on me was probably the worst of them all. You see, when I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Ukraine I lived in a town with three other volunteers all of whom felt that taking their bad days out on me or other people was completely and totally legitimate. It got to the point where between the three of them someone was always snapping at someone else, making being around all three of them really unpleasant.

I mean, come on. We all have to live, work, eat, breathe, and play together on this planet. Being nasty to a co-worker/spouse/parent/sibling/whoever because someone else was previously nasty to you is stupid. And inconsiderate. God, that drives me crazy.

Towards the end of my shift, after I had missed my bus because bitch girl was trying to figure out how I had screwed up the register (um, did I mention I've only been working at this fucking kiosk for a week and a half?), I paused to reflect on the fact that I'm working at exactly the same kind of job I was BEFORE I left for Peace Corps for less money. And I felt like screaming.

Next time, I'm kicking some ass and taking names. I'm not taking any shit from anyone not old enough to drink or who doesn't remember the release of Thriller, and that's that.

Oops

2006-08-15T14:37:00.000-07:00

Jesus, I didn't realize it had been over a week since I posted anything.

To be honest, I've actually been a little busy. Doing what, you ask? Well, let's see.....

1. Canoeing. That's right. Me and my Scientist and about 10 of his friends took a trip to southern Missouri where we, along with about 100 of the reddest rednecks and whitest white trash in the midwest canoed for a day. It was a lot of fun, and I finally got to meet some people Scientist had been talking for months.

2. Working. I started at the Java House this week. Things are going well, although the pay still sucks and I'm fairly sure I'm the brokest person on the planet. I'm actually afraid to balance my check book. At least I get tips, though.

3. Getting therapy. I started EMDR treatment for PTSD. So far, its gone okay, although the EMDR treatment is emotionally exhausting and no fun.

4. Reving up for school. I start in a week! YEA!!! I heart school!

Once my schedule gets a little more regular (HA! Fat chance on that one, I'm sure) I'm going to try and have a blog-like schedule (i.e. I blog 4 times a week or whatever). Until then all I can do is try and post things when the mood strikes me.

20 Miles

2006-08-06T06:29:00.000-07:00

That's how far Scientist and I rode yesterday. Isn't that cool? Aren't you impressed? I thought so.

It actually wasn't that bad. It would have been better, of course, had my bike not been twice as difficult to pedal because the cables are all stretched out. Apparently this happens after you get a bike; about a month after buying it you need to have the gears checked and the cables tightened (?) for some reason. I need to do this before classes begin in two weeks because a) I'm going to get super busy between taking 2 grad classes and work and b) in late October Scientist and I are going on a little trip.

We've been talking about this for several weeks, but now I think we've decided to actually bite the bullet and do it. See, this is no regular trip: we're going to be going on a 60 mile bike ride through central and southern Missouri over the course of two days. Apparently there's this trail, the Katy trail, to be exact, that is a part of a not-yet-completed mega trail that will connect bike trails across the country from California to the Northeast.

So, yesterday was a sort of dry run. We figured if we could do a fairly hilly 20 miles in one day we could do two flat thirty mile stretches over the course of two days. Hopefully both of our schedules will allow us to do so by the time fall rolls around.

Good News/Bad News

2006-08-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

August is the month of major decisions and shifts in my life apparently.

About a week ago I applied for a job at Planned Parenthood. It sounded fabulous: I'd be working as a clinic assistant which means I'd be talking to women about their birth control options and providing those who were about to have abortions information about the procedure. It was 20 hours per week, full health/dental/vision benefits and I'd have Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays off.

I say "would have" because I didn't get it, damn it. There were two other candidates besides me. I was really disappointed because I thought I had a really good chance at this job; I did HIV/AIDS outreach in Ukraine, along with doing a little bit of volunteer work with Planned Parenthood in CR when I was 16. But, alas, I lost out again.

So, instead, I'll be working at the Java House. I know I should be excited that I at least have a job, but I'm not. I feel like I've basically picked up exactly where I started when I left for Ukraine, meaning my life has gone no where and will continue to go no where as long as I'm working jobs that pay shit and get me no where professionally. I'm almost 30 for Christ sakes. This is what I would grudgingly call "good news".

Then I remind myself that I'm enrolling in grad classes this fall and that I can't expect to find a fabulous part-time job because those are hard to come by in this town. That, and I can't just give up looking: I'll find something. Maybe someone in the Public Health department at Iowa will be able to hook me up with some sort of internship or something once I'm admitted to the program. I hate waiting, though.....

I know I should abandon the idea that this sort of work is "beneath me". Clearly, it's not, and furthermore it's totally obnoxious for me to think this way, but....I can't help it. I'm frustrated.

In much less disheartening news, I met with my super great therapist, Dr. L, yesterday to discuss treatment for my PTSD. Dr. L does a certain type of therapy called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Restructuring). I'm not going to bore you with the details, but let's just say it's been enormously sucessful for PTSD suffers and I'll hopefully benefit from it.

Anyway, the good news is a) she agrees with the doctor who originally diagnosed me with PTSD and b) she's not going to charge me for anything until I get my settlement (I didn't ask her to do this, she volunteered the idea herself!). She was really sympathetic and cool, which was a nice change from the last yahoo I dealt with at the U of I. In fact, I felt more comfortable with her than I have anybody else I've talked to about how I've felt. She's even willing to testify in court if I need her to (let's hope and pray that's not the case; I really don't want to go to court).

This weekend Scientist and I are going on a 20 mile bike ride. Sunday we're having my mom over for ribs. I hope you all have a fabulous weekend and enjoy this much cooler weather!

Announcement!

2006-07-31T09:09:00.000-07:00

As some of you may already know I've been kicking around a lot of ideas about what the hell I should do this fall concerning moving, school, and my future. Finally, I've made some decisions. Here they are in no particuliar order:

1. I've decided against moving to Minneapolis for the time being because a) going to the U of M as an out-of-state student it horrendously expensive and I don't know if I want to make that kind of financial commitment just yet and b) Scientist is here, not in Minnesota.

2. I'm moving to Iowa City and in with Scientist.

3. I've signed up for two courses--Biostatistics and Epidemiology-- for the fall. If I do well in both of them, that means I will very likely be admitted to the Global Health Studies program at the University of Iowa.

In all honesty, I made most of these decisions over a month ago, but I wanted to wait before I actually made a move to put everything in motion before I posted anything.

Okay, that's it, guys. Feel free to post encouraging words or comments filled with joy regarding my decision.

There's Nothing Wrong With Me

2006-07-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

I've been a big slacker when it comes to blogging lately, guys, I know. This weekend was actually kind of full of biking and outdoorsy stuff, plus I was trying to finish my Schadenfreude entry, which, for some reason, took forever. But I'll shut up about that already and get to the good stuff ("good" mean "juicy" or "interesting" in this case, not as in "pleasant" or "joyful").

As some of you may know, a little over three years ago I was involved in an awful car accident, which has since resulted in me bringing a lawsuit against the 88 year old guy who hit me and his stupid fucking insurance company (sorry, I can't help my vitriolic anger towards insurance companies at this point--they ALL suck, trust me). I decided to not because I'm a greedy, money grubbing, good-for-nothing bitch, but because the insurance company of the guy who hit me tried to claim that my accident was "an Act of God". No, I'm not shitting you. This is an actual clause in some insurance policies.

Thankfully, they eventually realized that argument wasn't going to fly with me, my insurance company, or any sane judge or jury. However, other guy's insurance company doesn't want to cough up the money for the nearly $20,000 I've incurred in medical bills since June 2003. This causes a major problem seeing as how I still haven't recieved treatment for the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder I was diagnosed with in February of this year.

Now, those of you who know me personally might not be aware of my status as PTSD sufferer. That's because, well, I'm not very keen on labeling myself as such because I'm afraid people will think I'm crazy, which, contrary to what most people thought before I left for two years to live in a developing country, I'm not. I'm just....still a little haunted by my accident.

Anyway, Monday I had to go to the U of Iowa hospital and clinics for a mandatory evaluation. This evaluation was basically a "second opinion" requested on behalf of the other guy's insurance company. Needless to say I was looking forward to this like I would a root canal or filling out more paperwork for Peace Corps; I knew it would be a) long (like 5 hours, no shit), b) tedious, c) involve me re-living the events of my accident and d) result in the "doctor" doing the "evaluation" deciding there was "nothing wrong with me". Think about it, people: of course they're going to send me to an extremely conservative psychologist who doesn't believe there's anything wrong with me--it's only then that they'll have any bargaining tools to bargain with, right? The other guys insurance company stopped arguing months ago about who's fault it was; now it's a matter of how much I suffered, how much physical therapy and psychotherapy I'll need in the future and how much they want to avoid going to court. All these things need to be taken into account when deciding my settlement.

The appointment was about as bearable as it could be: they gave me a bunch of cognitive tests that measure my spatial, reasoning and verbal abilities. I scored "average" on the spatial and reasoning tests and "superior" on the verbal tests (big surpise there to all who know me, I'm sure). Before that, though, I had an interview with a Fellow (that's a title in medical field, not a reference to this gentleman's sex, although, he was a dude) in the Neuropsychology.

The interview was the part I was really dreading. Basically it's an hour to two hour long conversation where the psychologist asks me about the accident, how I feel about it, how it has affected my life, etc. Speaking vaguely about what's happened is something I can deal with, but going over a moment by moment account of everything that happened is really kind of traumatic. Basically I have to describe to an utter stranger how it felt to feel like I was going to die. I hate it. It makes me tear up even thinking about it.

So, after the interview and cognitive tests were done they gave me this personality test. I took this once before back in February (which I think I blogged about, but can't find the post, for some reason). It's 563 questions long. No kidding. It's basically a series of statements that you have to either answer true or false to depending on whether or not they apply to you. Some of the questions are really messed up, as in if-you-answer-yes-to-this-question-you-should-go- straight-to-the-looney-bin-do-not-pass-go-do-not-collect-$200. Some of them are just really weird like, "I like science" or "sometimes I like to hurt animals for fun". I mean, who doesn't like science or hurting animals? (Just kidding)

After those tests, I went to lunch, got some good Scientist lovin' and ate some delicious leftover tamales we made from scratch (yup, we're that cool; they were good too!). Then I went back to the Neuropsychology clinic for my final 'consultation'.

Basically, to make a long story short the "expert" they had hired told me there was nothing wrong with me. Here's what he said: "While the nightmares that you're having, along with re-living the accident and being fearful of driving are definatley consistant with PTSD, I don't think there's anything wrong with you." Translation: "I'm fully aware that I'm going to be paid quite a bit of money to say there's nothing wrong with you. So, guess what? That's what I'm doing. " Gee, what a surprise!

Explain this to me: how the fuck does this expert know what's wrong with me if he never did ANY of the consultation? His Fellow spent a couple hours with me, the research assistant spent a lot of time with me, but the only time the good doctor even spoke to me was to tell me nothing at all was wrong with me. Um, okay. That makes a lot of sense. You know what I'm going to do with his opinion? I'm going to put up on the shelve with all the other useless advice I've gotten over the years and go with doing what's going to help me. And that means getting treatment for this damn disease and feeling better. Just watch me.

Schadenfreude

2006-07-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

Schadenfreude \SHAH-dun-froy-duh\ noun, often capitalized: enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others

Example sentence: "There is simply no higher level of schadenfreude than when the rich or famous stumble." (John Gonzalez, Boston Magazine, August 2005)

Face it, we all indulge in a little schadenfreude from time to time. Now, I'm not saying it's anything to be proud of, or that we should encourage such behavior in others, but.... come on. Admit it: if someone's done you wrong, even if it was years and years ago, like say, in high school or something, you can't help but feel just a little smug, just a tiny bit of satisfaction, upon hearing about some sort of misforture that has befallen them.

Take, for example, a friend of mine who used to work at Lane Bryant while we were in college. One day we were talking about running into people from high school when she mentioned the satisfaction she felt when girls who had once been cheerleaders or on the dance team (and thought they were the shit) would come into LB, no longer snotty size 4s, shopping for clothes. That's schadenfreude in its purest form.

Or take, for example, a moment I had over a month ago while at B & N in IC. As some of you may know, I worked at two different B & Ns for over eight years (I believe I worked at the one in IC for almost 4 years). When I left for Peace Corps I thought I was leaving on at least reasonably good terms with virtually everyone I knew. Little did I know, my ex-boyfriend, Crazypants(who I'd broken up with about 5 months before I left the States), had begun dating a woman that we had both known for years, Baby Voice. Baby Voice spoke in this incredibly annoying little girl voice that Crazypants hated and use to make fun of when we were together (in fact, I distinctly remember Crazypants saying, "God, I could never date her because that voice would drive me crazy. Can you imagine being in bed with someone like that? It'd be like having sex with a five year old." I think that's nearly a verbatim quote, too.). But I digress.....

Just a few months later, however, I found out that they were dating. Now, that wouldn't have bothered me, really (I mean, other that the fact that he had moved on before me, but I get over that stuff pretty easily), except, I found out that they had started dating less than 4 months after we had broken up. While I was still in the States and trying to convince Crazypants that our break up was the best thing for both of us. Boy, was I a fucking chump.

WAIT...Before you jump to any conclusions about my "true feelings", think about this: he had gone on and on about how heart-fucking-broken he was after we broke up, plus all of the people who claimed they were my friends (ALL OF THEM) kept it from me. It was like a big secret. As in, "Psst...Crazypants and Baby Voice are banging. Don't tell R. Pass it on." That hurt the most. That kind of betrayal is hard for me to forgive.

So, needless to say, once I jumped on the plane to head off for my big adventure in Ukraine a bunch of really shitty stuff was said about me courtesy of Crazypants and Baby Voice. Private conversations I had with supposed friends about my doubts concerning Crazypants' emotional stability and his looney family came out, or, at least, were suddenly being relayed to Crazypants via Baby Voice in her attempt to make me seem like the evil ex-girlfriend who had the fucking gall to go Ukraine to do humanitarian work/make the world a better place and abandon him in the process.

Did I mention I have the ability to hold a grudge for eternity?

So, when I was in B & N a month ago and I saw Baby Voice and she looked like ass, I couldn't help but let out a loud internal cackle. I didn't care so much that she looked like shit. No, my satisfaction lay in the fact that she's so vain it would drive her nuts to think I saw in such bad shape and thus she'd be tortured by what I thought about how she looked . My schadenfreude lay in her being completely insecure about her appearance and driving herself nuts, not in the supposed downturn in her actual looks. Scadenfreude is sweet.

Some Like It Hot

2006-07-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm not actually in St. Louis right now (nor was this picture [1] taken in STL, it was taken on Scientist's birthday in IC), I'm in Iowa City, but nevertheless when I was in STL I was extremely hot and sweaty. I believe the heat index was well over 100 yesterday in both Missouri and southern Iowa. ICK ICK ICK!

I had another really wonderful weekend with the Scientist. In fact, I was fairly amazed that things went as perfectly as they did considering it was unbearably hot and I figured we'd end up spending all day in Scientist's best friend's (best friend will here on out be referred to as Ice Cream man because he owns and runs an Ice Cream franchaise) apartment staring at each other. I should've known better than to think we'd just sit around; when I'm with Scientist we always have fun, and we always end up doing something I wouldn't have enjoyed doing on my own.

We arrived Friday night at around 9 pm at Ice Cream Man's apartment, hung out with Ice Cream Man's girlfriend, who let us in, and then, once Ice Cream Man arrived home from a baseball game he'd been at, we headed to this really cool, albeit odd, bar called Fox and Hound. It's pretty much exactly like you'd imagine it would be. It had this HUGE stuffed grizzly bear in the lobby and tacky English furniture to sit on at the bar. We sat and chatted for a good 2 hours before they kicked us out and we went back to Ice Cream Man's place and crashed.

Saturday, we braved the horrid STL weather and headed to Forest Park, which, I was informed is actually larger than Central Park in NYC. We walked around a bit, went to the Science Station and then headed to the zoo.

The St. Louis zoo totally kicked the Minneapolis zoo's ASS. It was a lot bigger than the M'aplois zoo, plus it looked a lot more well tended to than the MN zoo. I couldn't help but feel bad for the animals, though, especially the poor little kitties (can you imagine having a thick fur coat on in that heat?), who were all punked out in the shade, laying on their back looking adorable and dangerous. The last thing we saw was a big polar bear jump in his little pool and go for a swim, so I left feeling both better about the animals living through the heat and a little jealous that he got his own little pool complete with a waterfall.

Sunday, we walked around the St. Louis Botanical Gardens for a few hours. I was actually afraid I wouldn't be terribly entertained by a bunch of flowers, but again, I was really impressed. The gardens were so well taken care of, and there were plenty of places to just sit and make out, I mean, chill.

After a few hours, we decided to call it a day and made our way over to Scientist's parents' house where I met his entire family. When I say entire I mean pretty much everybody, except for a couple aunts and uncles and his grandmother. Scientist and I had brought some sweet corn from Iowa, so his family made that and we grilled hamburgers. Scientist has 4 nieces and nephews (all under the age of 8), so there was plenty of entertainment. They were all very good kids (I think his three year old niece is probably the smartest three year old I've ever met; she could add and everything!) and his family made me feel really welcomed. All of this came as a giant relief seeing as how I wasn't sure whether or not they'd like me. Thankfully, they seemed to take quite well to me and I felt totally at ease with them.

Monday we headed out to Ice Cream Man's store, indulged in some seriously rich ice cream and then headed off to Iowa. We stopped for while in Hannibal, attempted to eat something (I'm never hungry in this type of weather) and then got back in the car and drove pretty much straight through to IC.

All and all it was a pretty nice weekend. I wish we'd had more time to spend with Ice Cream Man and his girlfriend, but, well, you can't have everything. That and I wished we'd been able to bring our bikes with us so we could ride some of the Katie trail, which looked really pretty when Scientist pointed it out to me. I guess this gives us an excuse to head down there again--this time in the fall when it's not so damn hot!

[1]: Scientist hates this picture because he says it makes his cheeks look chubby. I, however, disagree. Aren't we adorable? Plus, I look pretty damn good (not to mention tan, which is highly unusual for me, even during the summer).

Quick Update About My Update

2006-07-13T13:27:00.000-07:00

Uh, thank you, Ellen for pointing out the fact that I, in fact, forgot to put up an update about my dinner with my parents and Scientist. I have now added an update to the the post entitled "Worst Case Scenerio: Scientist Meets My Dad". Sorry for the delay.

Meeting the Parents

2006-07-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was actually a fairly productive day. I had a great, super sweaty workout, complete with weight lifting. I also started a letter to my favorite teacher in Ukraine and sort of just dawdled around the house.

Speaking of the weather, this weekend is suppose to be ungodly hot both here and in St. Louis, where Scientist and I are heading for a little R & R. I hate hot weather. Wait, no, strike that--I hate humid weather, of which there is an abundance of in the Midwest. My clothes stick to me, my hair glues itself to the back of my neck, I'm tired, I'm cranky and, usually, unable to sleep. In fact, as far as I'm concerned there is no reason to be outside sweating your ass off if it's humid and above 90. Am I right?

I'm actually a little nervous about our little trip. Until now, I've only met a few of Scientist friends, but really nobody super important. His entire family, along with his best friend and old friend from college (best friend and old friend are now dating) live there and I'll get to meet ALL of them over the course of the next few days.

It's not that I think I won't like any of them; on the contrary, I think I'll like all them, it's that I'm afraid they won't like me. See, as some of you may remember, the last long term relationship I was in, when my ex-boyfriend, Crazypants, introduced me to his parents, they, initially, loved me. Unfortunately, I came to a series of realizations after that, the first being his family (with the exception of his father), was absolutely insane, dysfunctional and brought a whole new meaning to the word "controlling", and the second being that, Crazypants, was, likewise, crazy as a jail house rat. The apple never falls from tree, I guess.

The pure hell that Crazypants' family put me through for over 2 years is enough to make even the most level-headed and logical person a little skiddish. Now, to be fair, I try to avoid making comparisons between relationships a) because that's totally unfair to the person I'm currently dating and b) I'm a totally different person than I was when I dated the last guy and c) the guy I'm dating now is totally different than the person I was dating before (duh).

Nevertheless, I think my worries are well founded; I really want to make a good impression on Scientist's family. I know, logically, there's no reason why I wounldn't it's just that....I'm so different than his parents. First, I'm a big fat Liberal and his dad is both religious and conservative (I've been told on no uncertain terms to avoid the topic of abortion because both his dad and I are uncompromising in our very different view points and are likely to get into a pretty heated disagreement in said topic were to come up). Second, um, well, how do I put this delicately?....Uh, I'm fairly sure they know I spend days on end in Iowa City with their son (who's the baby in the family, to boot), so I'm pretty sure they know I've slept in the same bed with him. I don't know, it just makes me feel like they'll think I'm corrupting their son. Which I'm not--he was waaaay corrupted when I met him. I swear.

I'm probably worrying over nothing. I'm sure everything will go fine and we'll have a wonderful time meeting each other, but I think my concerns are pretty normal and valid. I mean, if Scientist can win over my dad, surely, I can win over his parents. Right?

Boredom Rules

2006-07-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

I have got to do something productive today. I've been pretty lazy for the last few days, but today, damn it, I'm going to read something in Russian and start some letters to friends in Ukraine. Oh, and I'm going lift weights and do some cardio today if it freakin' kills me. Hmmm....I can't really think of anything else I should do, unless you count washing some dishes and picking up around the house.

Where has all my energy gone? It's 10:30 for Christ's sakes and I haven't done ANYTHING. I use to be one of those people who ran around all day. In fact, I was like that until just recently. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's being in love. Maybe if my conscious effort to decrease the amount of caffeine I drink. Maybe....it's being totally bored out of my mind has made me a boring person. Who knows.

A Happy, Tasty Birthday for My Scientist

2006-07-10T18:38:00.000-07:00

I finished a long and very funny entry about Scientist's birthday earlier this morning only to have eaten by Blogger. Although, such a HIlarious entry can never be fully recreated, I'll try recounting the weekend in the same entertaining fashion as before.

Since Scientist was turning 32 on Sunday we decided that the whole weekend would be devoted to do exactly what he wanted to do. I thought this was only fair; I mean I'm going to expect him to do the same for me on my birthday.

On Saturday we started the day just sort of hanging out: we sat around, read a little, and then headed off to Kent Park (which, if you're an Iowa Citian you should totally check this place out; it's quieter and less crowded than Sugar Bottom or the Rez) for some hiking. All in all we ended up hiking for about 2 hours with the occasional stops for hugs (Scientist called them "Hug Breaks"--isn't that disgustingly cute?). We finished up the afternoon lolling around on a blanket after having the best damn bologna and cheese sandwich ever.

That evening Scientist decided that for his birthday dinner we would go to Devotay. I'd never actually been to Devotay, despite living in Iowa City forever and hearing nothing but rave reviews of their food. It's a Spanish tapas place, so it's got something for everyone, plus it's really easy to wind up ridiculously full, which is precisely what ended up happening to both of us. We had 'paella', this delicious rice dish with chicken, some really yummy spicy sausage, olives and peppers in it, along with a portabello and asiago quesadilla and some other tapas that I've already forgotten about, but which was also awesome.

Scientist had invited a bunch of people out to Speak Easy, a bar in Iowa City that's actually no where near the Ped Mall and, thus, far far away from the annoying undergrads out to get wasted on a Saturday night. For this I was extremely thankful, seeing as how I'm almost, um, 30, and I feel weird drinking Bud Light and screaming at the person I'm standing across from at a bar downtown like I did when I was 21. I can't do that anymore and still respect myself, seriously.

Anyway, I had been making comments for weeks now that I would like to see Scientist drunk. I've seen him tipsy (in fact the first night we went out we both ended up a little tipsy), but imagined that he would be a very entertaining drunk. I ended up being right about that because a whole bunch of people from his department at the U of Iowa ended up showing up and they all kept buying him drinks and shots, so by the time we ended up at Joe's downtown (drinking with a bunch of undergrads, of course) he was wasted.

All in all, I think it turned out to be a pretty darn good birthday. We had good food, I got to meet some more of his friends, we did something fun outside....really, what more could he asked for. The only problem I see is I've now set the bar extremely high for him for my 30th birthday which is at the end of September. In fact, I doubt that sort of perfection can be topped, really. I guess we'll see, huh?

Reappearance

2006-07-07T15:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay, I know I suck. It's been almost two weeks now since I posted anything new, and now that I am posting, this entry is going to be fairly short and not very entertaining at all. HA! Now that you've been forewarned you can't complain.

What the hell have I been doing? Well, I've been working, gazing into my Scientistchik's lovely blue eyes and spending time outside. Other that that, I've felt pretty nasty (like I said earlier, I'm on this new medication that's making me crazy and nauseous), so I haven't done a whole lot. Oh, and I've been thinking a lot about what the hell I'm going to do this fall. More about that later.

I promise, promise, promise to post a whole bunch in the coming week or so. I just finished up a project at work and I should have nuttin' but time on my hands for the next few weeks.

2006-06-26T14:35:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a kind of mixed bag: I had a great time at the Aimee Mann show (her voice is as beautifully haunting and clear in concert as it is on any of her records, plus she's really sassy and she BOXES like me) on Friday, but Saturday and Sunday I ended up feeling like shit all day. I'm on this new medication and one of the inital side effects is naseau, headaches and mood swings. Poor Scientist, he had to put up with me being really grumpy and irritable all day (at least I warned him in advance).

Thankfully, I'm feeling a lot better today. I just went for a nice fast walk for about an hour and earlier today I read some more of One Hundred Years of Solitude, which is shaping up to be a great book. It's funny, I tried to read One Hundred about 3 years ago and it was super annoying; I couldn't keep any of the characters straight and it was impossible for me to actually concentrate on the plot. I ended up being really disappointed and dropping it after about 100 pages. Now, though, I'm having zero problems with it all. It's funny how people grow into books, isn't it?

Worst Case scenario: Scientist meets my Dad!

2006-06-21T06:28:00.000-07:00

Upon reading yesterday's blog entry I realized how poorly it was written. Sorry guys. I've got a lot on my mind, and while I usually use this blog as a forum to vent and kick ideas around, this one is going to just have to rattle around a bit in my head before I come out with it. Until then my entries might seem a little forced or, distracted, I guess.

NO, I'm not pregnant, nor am I getting married (have you lost your fucking mind?!) or coming out of the closet (those of you who know me, know I've tried dating women in the past, so it's no secret--those of you who don't know... well, SURPRISE!).

No, this is something I need to decide on my own. Yes, it involves Scientistchik*. It also involves my future. It's a big step, a leap of faith and completely out-of-character. And that's all I'm going to say about it right now. Now you're dying to know what it is, aren't ya?

Tonight Scientistchik is going to meet my dad. I'm a little nervous; not because I don't think my dad will like Scientistchik (on the contrary, I think he'll like him a lot--how could he not?), but rather, my dad is a kinda weird and unusual guy-- which I've tried to prepare Scientist for-- and I never know how people are going to react to him. I mean, it's not like he's going to give Scientist the third degree on what his "intentions" are with me, or like, pick a fight with him over stem cell research or the fact that Scientist kills mice all day and then takes out their brains and spinal chords (now you know why I really find him so irresistible and sexy).

My worst case scenario goes down like this: we arrive 20 minutes late to find my boyfriend pacing outside Mondo's hungrily. Introductions are made and my Dad promptly starts making lame science jokes in an effort to buddy up to Scientist. Scientist laughs weakly and looks at me quizzically. I begin to feel a pit the size of Illinois open up in my stomach.

We saunter on in to Mondo's, sit down, my dad immediately lights up a cigarette and starts asking Scientist all these questions about his research. Then, in mid-sentence, between his third and fourth cigarette in 10 minutes, my dad interrupts Scientist and starts telling him stories about China (where my Dad lived for nearly three years until about 2 months ago and is trying to currently find work again) and blowing smoke in his face.

Once our food arrives, my Dad complains that his soup is cold, rudely tells the server "Sweetie, you need to take this back," and lights up his tenth cigarette. Scientist, still smiling and trying to impress my dad, has switched tactics. He's asking Dad about where's he's been and Dad launches into this painfully long story about all the places we've been together and how he was the one who first took me abroad. He peppers the story with "Squirt" this and "Squirt" that, motioning towards me (I endured him calling me Squirt until I finally flipped out on him once when I was 23 and had just come back from living in Russia by myself--true story, I swear). My mother is so fucking irritated her eyes are almost literally rolling out of her head. I'm biting my tongue so hard there's a slight trickle of saliva-blood running out of the side of my mouth and there is actual steam coming out of my ears.

For the next hour I try to gear the conversation towards some totally inane topic like tupperware, but fail miserably. My mother, who's been divorced from my father for over 10 years, keeps shrilly scolding my dad for making one faux pas after another. He's dropped food on the floor twice, and accidently put his cigarette out in Scientist's food. At this point I keep getting up to "go to the bathroom", but rather than using the loo I sneak outside and try to call Scientist to apologize my Dad's behavior.

Finally the end of meal comes, and somehow my Mom and I end up paying for everyone's food. My dad makes some completely off-color remark about my Mom and I being his and Scientist's respective sugar mommas, which really pisses my mom off. Trying to make our exit as quick as possible, I give my mom a hug, glower at my Dad and grimace as my father says, "Well, Scoliosis, it sure was nice to meet you. Take care of my daughter!" and winks.

I spent the entire car ride home, as well as the next two hours kissing Scientist's ass and trying to convince him I share only my crooked nose, my love of travel and the ability to make any story inordinately too long with my father. Alas, Scientist decides he can't imagine spending the next few months, let alone the next several years with someone who's family is as odd as mine and breaks up with me on the spot. I cry bitter tears all the back to my empty bed in Cedar Rapids.

*Adding "chik" (for men) or "inka" (for women) to the end of one's name forms what's called a"diminutive" in Russian or Ukrainian. A "diminuitive" is like a pet name, and is reserved for someone you really like, or conversely if you want something from someone and need to kiss their ass. Example: "Brianchik, could you bum me a cigarette?" or "Ellenka, thank you for writing that letter of recommendation to Peace Corps for me three years ago." No one, except maybe Brian, calls me Robinka, because no one really likes me. Boo hoo, me!

Update: Okay, so I'm adding this update a bit late, but, well, sue me. Anyway, dinner with my Dad, Mom and Scientist went very well. My Dad was extremely impressed with Scientist's scienceness and the fact that he infects mice with auto-immune diseases, kills them, grinds up their spinal chords and brains and then proceeds to stare at them under a microscope. My Dad even used the word "antigen" in a sentence to try and impress Scientist. Conversely, Scientist tried to impress my Dad with his travels to Columbia, Costa Rica, Mexico and Ireland.

Seriously though, the whole evening, including when my dad gave Scientist shit for voting for Bush (and Scientist just grinned and took it), just re-affirmed my belief that I'm totally with the right guy. No doubt in my mind. At all.

General Ramblings

2006-06-19T08:20:00.000-07:00

It's another beautiful day in Iowa. I think I'll go outside today and walk for awhile. I'm determined to add some color to my pale ass over the course of this summer. I hope to do this through a combination of walking and biking all over eastern Iowa.

Speaking of biking, Scientist and I biked for two hours Saturday afternoon. It was awesome, especially considering it had been kinda crappy weather for a week straight and it was damn hot Saturday afternoon. In fact, I felt kind of nauseous later on in the day, which I have a feeling was linked to being out in the sun for so long. I think my body is still in shock that a) it's not still winter and b) I'm not freezing my butt off in Ukraine.

It always feels so good to get some really intense form of exercise, although I don't enjoy exerting myself in the sweltering heat so much. There was nothing I loved more (before my accident, of course) than going for a long run in 70 degree weather. God, I miss that--running 7 miles followed by Amy's Cheese Lasagna (that's a vegetarian brand of microwaveable meal) and a peanut butter chocolate bar from the Co-op. Pure heaven.

This week I start another project at the educational testing facility where I've worked on and off for...well, forever (or at least it feels that way). I'm not super excited about it, especially considering I'll be playing the part of a lowly scorer, as opposed to the super rad, cool, hip supervisor like I usually do. Scoring, as opposed to supervising, also pays a dollar less an hour.

The highlight of the summer this week, I think, will come Friday when Scientist and I go to Minneapolis to Aimee Mann at the Minneapolis zoo with my friend, Jake, and his girlfriend Tara. I'm super excited about seeing Aimee Mann; I've only become a fan in the last two years when another volunteer introduced me to her music, which hooked me immediately.

Other than being stoked (I'm pulling out all the 80's words this entry: rad, stoked...) about seeing a show, Scientist has met none of my friends, other than Greg (BTW, Greg, after meeting you he said, "I'm totally not worried about meeting any of your friends if they're all cool like that Greg guy...He was really smart.") and our little trip to MN will allow me to introduce him to Jake.

As some of you may know, I feel like it's important that my friends like the person I'm dating, although I realize sometimes two strong personalities don't always mix (example: Ellen to this day reminds me how much she hated/hates my ex-boyfriend,Todd). Don't get me wrong, my friends opinions are important to me: I'm an only child, ergo I have no close family other than my parents and my friends take the place of siblings. That means, of course, I rely on them to be honest with me about how they feel about the person I'm dating. If they don't like them, I want them to be honest with me about why.

This of course means I reserve the right to disagree with them about my SO. If, say, one of the friends met Scientist and, after a heated discussion about politics, they later informed me they didn't like Scientist because he, um, er, uh, voted for Bush, then I'd have to take their opinion with a grain of salt. Not liking someone because he/she has radically different political views, is not a valid reason for thinking that person is not good for your friend.

Have a good day, all.

I used the word "smack" twice in this post

2006-06-16T06:51:00.000-07:00

Whenever I read the blogs of people I don't know I feel like a peeping Tom. Like, somehow, if they found out I was reading their blogs they'd put the smack down on me. They'd say something like, "Who the fuck do you think you are reading my blog? Do I know you? NO! Then stop puttin' your nose into my bidness, bitch! Get a life!"

Nevertheless, I spent about an hour this morning cruising the blogosphere. I like to read the blogs of currently serving Peace Corps Volunteers but they're so rarely updated that it's hard for me to get super excited about reading them and check them every day like I do Ellen's blog, or JP's blog.

Despite the fact that it may seem like I'm not doing jack, I've actually been fairly productive. I've found some leads on apartment in the Minneapolis area, e-mailed some potential roommates and fretted endlessly about how the hell I'm going to pay for all this (I won't receive word of my financial aid award from U of M until late June /early July!). Note to any of you who see me: please smack me upside the head or shake me if I start spazzing over the cost of graduate school. Remind me that the money I'm investing in this is worthwhile and will pay off both financially, intellectually, professionally and, very possibly, emotionally in the future. I should think of this as downpayment on my future. I came up with that myself, isn't that good? Huh? God, I'm smart....that's why U of Minnesota wants me.

I hope you all have a great weekend. Pray for sun!

Rejected (again)

2006-06-14T09:28:00.000-07:00

Stupid fucking University of Iowa just rejected me from their Community and Behavioral Health program. They said my quantative GRE score was too low, but I could take Biostatistics I and Epidemiology I and then re-apply at a later date. Yeah.

I wouldn't care so much about being rejected from the University of Iowa except 1) it's waaaaay cheaper than the U of Minnesota and 2) a certain a guy I really like is here.

So much for my good mood.

ACCEPTED (part two)

2006-06-13T14:41:00.000-07:00

I GOT IN!!!

I just found out I was admitted to the Public Health Administration and Policy program at the University of Minnesota!!! Yippee!

Waiting is Killing Me

2006-06-13T09:45:00.000-07:00

Today is going to be one of the longest days of the summer. No, it has nothing to do with the summer solstice making the day at least seem longer or having to sit through hours of Firefly with my lovely Scientist. Rather, today is the day I'm finally going to find out if I was accepted into the Masters of Public Health Administration and Policy program at the University of Minnesota. How do I know this? Because, finally, after weeks of polite and not-all-that-polite hounding, I was promised by the academic co-ordinator at U of M that I will have an answer today. Still no word from Iowa.

Of course, when I first read that I felt a rush of excitement. AN ANSWER! Finally. But now, after examining my emotions regarding my impending admittance to an MPH program, I'm not so sure I want an answer either way, because that means the ball will be in my court.

If I'm only admitted into the U of Minnesota and not the U of Iowa, then my decision has pretty much been made for me (the same as if I'm only admitted into the U of Iowa and not the U of Minnesota, which is probably the least likely scenario of the two possible). That pretty much means I'm going to have to get my ass in gear and find a place in Minneapolis (how I'm going to do this, I don't know), get my financial aid stuff figured out, buy a car (no small task there, eh?), pack my shit and complete turn my relationship with the Scientist on its head. That last part--the part about completely uprooting my budding "romance" (God, I hate that word)--is the cause of my trepidation.

I don't want to leave him, but for the sake of my future career and limitless ambition, I think I may very well have to. I keep trying to reason with myself: Scientist will be finishing his Ph.D. this next year and its probably best if I'm not here to distract him, we've only been dating for about 2 months (a little less, actually) so I can not can not can not let this relationship dictate my future, I've never let a relationship control my decisions so I shouldn't start doing that now, etc. So, why is it nagging at me still? How did I let this man get to me so easily? How did he manage to weasel his way into my life so effortlessly without me noticing?

I can't win. I'll be really disappointed if I don't get in and I'll be really at a loss if I do get in. Jesus, why didn't someone warn me Adulthood sucked so much?

More waiting

2006-06-12T07:45:00.000-07:00

It rained all weekend, damn it. Scientist and I didn't do squat. We watched Me, You and Everyone We Know which neither of us enjoyed. I love weird independent films, but I just got bored with this one. Then we watched Firefly which is the series the movie Serendipity is based on; I thought it was boring for the first 45 minutes, but then it got a lot better. Other than that we grilled, ate pancakes, and mourned the loss of a perfectly good weekend to shitty shitty weather. That and I tried not to get pissed about not hearing anything from U of Minnesota or U of Iowa.

The reason why I'm so irritated about not hearing anything from U of M/U of Iowa yet is not because of pure impatience. No, by not hearing anything from either school I can't move forward with any of my plans: I can't apartment hunt, look for a car, sign papers that will put me thousands of dollars in debt to the federal government, nothin'.... And furthermore, I find it both incredibly irresponsible and unprofessional that they haven't informed me of their decision yet; it's been almost 7 weeks for Christ's sakes!

Another potenially great weekend

2006-06-09T10:45:00.000-07:00

I find it sad that after only one day off, I'm already kinda bored. Bored and anxious. I think I'm a little down because of the rainy weather and the very discouraging lack of response from either the U of M or the U of Iowa regarding my MPH application.

Yesterday, however, I had a fabulous day. Scientist and I went for a nice sweaty bike ride and had a typically wonderful evening together. If you guys saw how disgustingly cute we are, you'd puke. I think the Scientist's friends would tease him mercilessly if they heard some of the gooey sweet shit he says to me. I love it!

Tonight we're going to have dinner with my mom and then maybe go to B & N and geek out together. It's employee appreciation week, so we'll have access to my mom's 40% discount, which rocks my world.

I think next week I need to start brushing up on my Russian. I've totally neglected it the last six months, and I don't want to start losing it.

Have a great weekend guys!

My shitty day

2006-06-07T03:24:00.000-07:00

Warning: If you don't want to hear me whine do not, I repeat, do not read the following post.

Yesterday was a shitty day. Here's why:

1. My project is still not done because my scorers, who are all cool people, keep either not showing up or calling in "sick". Yes, yes, I know I, their supervisor and supposed leader, called in sick on Friday, but that's different. I hadn't called in or missed, like 500 times (oh, I'm not even exaggerating so get off my back, bitch) and then decided to just skip the end of the project when my team needed me most, DAMN IT.

2. I weigh the most I have ever weighed in my entire life. God. Fucking. Damn. It. I guess this might be linked to me being able to bench press 70 lbs and lifting weights and stuff, but still. I don't feel heavy. I don't look heavy. ARRRGH.

3. I paid 173 fucking dollars for an medical exam yesterday (that's how much I know I weigh, bitch) after I was told that since I didn't make jack shit, I'd be eligible for a waiver. So, I don't make enough to actually pay for, say, insurance or the cost of a routine yearly exam, but I do make to much to qualify for a lil' assistance.

4. I had a scorer get pissed at me after I calmly explained I couldn't let him work overtime. This was after I had announced the decision to work overtime was not up to me and I had not received authorization to let them work over 8 hours.

5. Neither the University of Minnesota nor the University of Iowa has sent me my admittance/rejection letter. This was after I was told I'd know by now. I applied April 27th, for Christ fucking sakes, they should have an admission decision by now.

I'm going to go and pout in a corner now. See ya.

Hooky

2006-06-02T06:07:00.000-07:00

I've made the executive decision that today, after 2 days of migranes and stress at work, I'm taking the day off. I need it. Badly. Yesterday I felt so shitty I almost curled up under my desk at work and took a nap. No kidding.

In other, much more positive, news, I bought a bike yesterday. It's red. It rides like a dream. It's a Giant (that would be the brand name). Bikes certainly have changed since I was a kid with a pink ten speed Schwinn; this one has two different sets of gears, as well as a front brake and a back brake.

More importantly, though, I totally kicked the Scientist's ass when went for a ride last night. I think he thought he'd have to, like, slow down for me and stuff. Instead, he was the one huffing and puffing by the end of our ride, while I was only a little tired (okay, the hills by his place do suck a little). It felt good to get some solid outdoor exercise; I forgot how much I love late spring and early summer in Iowa.

I'm wearing a skirt today

2006-05-27T07:20:00.000-07:00

Three day weekends rock, don't you agree? I'm excited about this weekend but I'd be more excited if my Scientist were in town, but seeing as how he's off hanging out with grandma and spotting bobcats feasting on roadkill while whizzing down the open road, I'm out of luck.

I also wish I would've heard something from the U of Minnesota and the U of Iowa by now. I turned my application over 4 weeks ago and haven't heard squat. I think on Tuesday I'll give both departments a call. I was told by both parties that I should have heard something by now.

I haven't got much planned really; I'm going to look for a bike (does anyone in the area know where to get a good mountain bike?), read, hang out with my dad, work out and maybe call a few people I haven't talked to in a while.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Sexual Harassment Soapbox

2006-05-25T15:53:00.000-07:00

I was having a great day until about 4 pm when I called my lawyer to ask him about something regarding the status of my case. I won't bore you with the details, but needless to say I got a little testy and now I'm in a pissy mood. I even ditched my Pilates class and workout to come home, pout, listen to my iPod and fix myself some comfort food.

I lodged a formal complaint against Jackass yesterday. Apparently, he went into HR on Tuesday morning and talked to our HR guy (who, incidentally really likes me, as most people at my job do), who then requested that I write down an account of everything happened. After I'd written everything up my boss, H, and I then went in and talked to HR guy. I got the whole speech about howI shouldn't have to put up with this type of harassment, blah blah blah. Everyone nodded their heads and agreed Jackass had, indeed, been a jackass and if anything else happened I shouldn't hesitate to come to HR guy and we would then "deal with Jackass in the appropriate manner". In other words, his ass will be fired.

What I found a little, well, disturbing was a series of comments H made regarding what would have been the appropriate manner for Jackass to ask me out and how this was a 'generational thing'. According to her, part of the problem with this "whole thing" was the difference between how my generation deals with "this sort of situation" and the way H and Jackass's generation deals with it. H said, "If he had said something like this to me, I would have, you know...blown it off [insert wild hand wave here]. But your generation [nod to me] doesn't deal with it that way...which you shouldn't. Jackass [okay, that's not his real name, I'll admit it], needs to learn how to control himself."

Color me stupid, but I think part of the reason why Jackass still has a fucking job at Pearson is because of a general belittling, oh-it's-not-that-serious feeling towards sexual harassment, as H expressed, there. I absolutely agree with H--a small part of Jackass's problem is that he didn't grow up with SH policies at the work place like I did. But the other, larger part of the problem, the part that I think caused him to open his fucking mouth, is that he a) honestly does think what he did was inappropriate and b) he's never been called on it even though he's acted inappropriately towards other women at at least two different jobs. It's attitudes like H's, not to mention the attitude of the other supervisor on my project who led to him thinking it was okay to say that to me.

The other highly suspect thing H said was, "it totally would have been different had he asked you out in the parking lot at work, alone, than doing it like he did at work in front of everyone." When I made the comment that, yeah it totally would have been different, it would have creeped me out even more to have him approach me in a parking lot alone, she said, "Oh no, that would have been some guy just asking you out. That would have been okay."

Um, I beg to differ. I've had people ask me out before outside of work and when I've turned them down, our work relationship has either turned sour or really strained. I'm not saying you can't date someone you work with (God knows I've dated plenty of my co-workers; my last relationship was with a man that was my boss), but you have to be very careful how you approach that person. Asking someone, say, to go to a party, or out with a bunch of people is a way to spend time with that person and not run the risk of either a) rejection, b) seeing if that person is truly interested and c) avoiding charges of SH.

I don't want to crucify this guy, but, really, if I don't take the higher ground here and make this about him acting and saying things that are inappropriate in a professional setting he'll simply keep doing it. History has proven that. I hate being the example as well as making an example of another person in order to prove a point but I feel like in this situation I need to see this through to the end.